A Diary Entry

I started blogging 2 years and 7 months ago. There are many of you in the D-OC that have been blogging for much longer. There are many of you who have joined since I began blogging in April of 2007. This community is so very special in so many ways. You've provided support, understanding, someone to vent to, have lunch with, and to visit while I'm on vacation. :)
I've met a few of you. But I feel like I know almost all of you. I consider you my friends.
I've not been as faithful in my blogging of late, but facebook and twitter have kept me in touch with most of you on some level.
I've missed D-blogger day. I missed World Diabetes Day. And I'm not participating in NaBloPoMo this month. But I still wanted to share with you all how much of a difference you've made in my life. Today I was digging for an empty blank book to jot down some ideas I had. I found a partially filled one and started to read. Although my thoughts are mostly private, I wanted to share with the D-OC parts of an entry I made on October 17th, 2006.

"I have this feeling that I am not normal"

"That made me realize that I have never had anyone my age that I knew that had diabetes. That's weird. Some younger and some older, but none really anywhere near my age."

"I think I need to find a friend like that....Someone I can relate to about A1c tests, and those horrible time of lows and highs and having to eat and check blood sugars. There's just no one I have ever been able to talk to about it. So I am feeling a little discouraged."

I can tell you that I haven't written, or felt, anything like that in a long time. D-OC, you guys saved me in a way. You made me feel less alone. You gave your friendship and understanding, free of charge. And you helped me feel a little more normal.

Thank you.

Waiting on Direction

Lately, I've been dealing with a lot of different things. Diabetes is kicking my tail right now. Or maybe I'm letting it kick my tail. When I switched doctors to Vanderbilt Diabetes Center, my first A1c was 6.7. I knew that was higher than it had been running. And I didn't like it. It had slowly been creeping back up on me, due to a variety of reasons. My second appointment at Vanderbilt was last Wednesday. At that appointment, in less than the normal 3 month period, it had gone up again to 6.9. That is the highest A1c I've had since before going on CGMS. VERY close to being my highest since going on the pump.

I was NOT pleased with this. But I knew it was going to be high. I knew it was going to be something that was an issue for me.

First off, let me give you a little bit of background, I've been STRESSED. ALOT. My job is killing me right now. I've lost almost any desire to work there. The few aspects of my job that always annoyed me seem to be around all the time now, and the good parts seem to be getting fewer and fewer. Also, stress seems to seep into other areas of my life as well. This is effecting my diabetes. In the mix with this, I had a trip out of town (and we all know how that effects the blood sugars), or two or three. And I've been having trouble sleeping.

So, you see, diabetes has been crazy here lately. I'm quite positive, that without my CGMS, my A1c would have been much higher.

Still, I want it down. I'm currently tracking my blood sugars to fax to my nurse practitioner at the end of the week. I'm also doing my best not to get terribly stressed at work; you know, leave it there kind of thing.

In the midst of this, I've been attending a class called Financial Peace University that is a Dave Ramsey course. Dave Ramsey, if you didn't know, is a financial advisor and helps people to get and stay out of debt. If you have ever thought about getting out of debt, thought you had too much debt, weren't sure where all your money is going, or basically felt like you wanted to have more money to do fun stuff with, I highly suggest you check out Dave Ramsey. He's fantastic. And he doesn't just deal with money. Last week, the lesson was on working in your strengths. Basically, finding what you love to do and doing it as a career. If you are meant to be an artist, you're going to make a really bad banker...or at least not the banker you could be if you were meant to be one. :)

On of the books he mentions in that lesson is a book called 48 Days to the Work You Love by a man named Dan Miller. The book, so far (I'm only part way through), is touching on God's calling for our lives. Everyone is born with certain traits, certain good things they are good at. And yet, we spend all our time working on the things we AREN'T good at, instead of cultivating the good things. Hmmm...think about that for a while.

Anyway, there was a poem in the book that really touched me. And made me think that I need to start looking for ways to do what I love...but first I have to figure out what that is. :)

"A Prayer for Joy"

Help me, O God,

To listen to what it is that makes my heart glad

And to follow where it leads.

May joy, not guilt,

Your voice, not the voices of others,

Your will, not my willfulness,

Be the guides that lead me to my vocation.

Help me to unearth the passions of my heart

That lay buried in my youth.

And help me to go over that ground again and again

Until I can hold in my hands,

Hold and treasure,

Your calling on my life.

--Ken Gire, Windows of the Soul

I don't know what I'm going to do, or when, or how. But for now, this is my prayer. I don't think a job should make a person unhappy. And when it effects my diabetes health, it becomes even more of an issue. So today, I go to work to be the most positive, hard working person I can be. And to continue to pray for guidance and direction for what He wants me to do with my life.

Giddy

Okay, I'm not really giddy. But it's the only word I could think of that was a synonym of Glee.

Let me start out by saying that this is another non-diabetic related post. Then let me continue by saying that I am a total nut. Most of you have already figured that out, but for those of you who haven't, you have been warned.

From some of my previous posts, you guys should know by now that I am a music nut and a theater nut.

And Fox Network has totally created the perfect show for me. Several months ago, Fox aired a pilot episode of Glee. When they aired it, I watched and LOVED it. I also stated to a friend of mine that it probably wouldn't last a season. Not because I didn't love the show, but because I didn't think that other people (we'll call them "normal" for the sake of this blog post) would appreciate the wonder that is Glee.

Apparently I was wrong. Glee has been a huge hit for Fox. I love it for all the reasons that most of the "normal" people do: Great music, cool dancing, and cheesy "Election" type filming.

And then I have my own reason: the cast of Broadway stars.
First off is Lea Michele, who plays Rachel on the show. Rachel is the "leader" of glee club and the star of glee as well. Lea Michele also originated the lead role of Wendla in the Tony Award Winning Spring Awakening (to which I have the soundtrack memorized...but have never been lucky enough to see).
Next, Matthew Morrison, who plays Will Schuester, their teacher, and advisor for glee club. Matthew Morrison originated the roll of Link Larkin in Hairspray on Broadway. Remember that little roll played by Zach Efron in the movie? Same roll. I say "Zach who?". I also have that soundtrack memorized....buy only got to see a local theater group perform the show this summer. No Broadway.
Also, Jenna Ushkowitz, who play Tina, another glee club member, was in Spring Awakening with Lea Michele for a while, although I do not believe she was in the original cast.

Then, two weeks ago, in an episode of Glee, there was a guest role. April was a former classmate of Mr. Schuester. April was played by Kristin Chenoweth. Kristin was in You're A Good Man Charlie Brown, when I saw it on Broadway in 1999. She won a Tony for that role. She then originated the role of Galinda/Glinda in Wicked. You guys have seen me post about Wicked. :)

So, as you can tell, it feeds into my addiction of Broadway....I'm just glad other people seem to like it. :) It means I might get to keep watching it for a while.

So, watch Glee tonight! I'll be at church. But tomorrow night is when I Hulu it. Oh, and I'll be buying the first season on DVD.

Below I am posting a video of one of the songs they did last week on Glee. It's not the best quality. But if you watch it, you'll get the idea of the show.

By the way, you can follow Glee on Twitter and Facebook.

P.S. Are any of you enjoying Glee as much as I am??

NDD-My Non-Diabetic Day Post

Music is a huge part of my life. Am I talented? Nope. I sing in the shower, in my car, and in my head pretty much all the time. But I'm not talented. Only obsessed. :)
Being from Tennessee, I have a great love for country music. But my love of music is not confined to one type of music. I often joke I have the most spastic playlist ever. I tend to go through phases.
For a while, I was on an 80's rock band kick. I started buying greatest hits albums from the 80's and the late 70's.
I've gone through a cabaret-type of phase, listening to Harry Connick, Jr, and Frank Sinatra, and anything by Gershwin.
I've also gone through (and to some degree am still going through) my Broadway phase.
But I like all kinds of music. I listen to alternative, country, rock, teeny-bopper, Broadway, easy-listening, praise, contemporary Christian, and nearly anything else you can think of.
Today, in fact, I got a Veggie Tales' song stuck in my head. :) Does anyone know the Cheeseburger Song??? :)
I've always said, if I had talent, I would have done something with music. I wake up with a song in my head. People can say a word or a phrase and a song that goes with it will pop into my head.
And I can always find a song for every situation. Every time of my life, every event, has a soundtrack of sorts in my head. I have a playlist to fit almost every mood. And music can fit a mood, an expression, an idea or a moment in ways that nothing else can.
So, while you watch the lovely Cheeseburger Song music video (oh, you know you want to!), think about what types of music you like, or how music has shaped you or effected you. And then comment! :)
Hope everyone has a lovely NDD post.

Visiting the Past, Looking Toward the Future.

I always find it interesting to see how people in my past have changed. My mom talks about friends from her past. Sometimes she wonders what they are up to and how their lives have turned out. I don't have to worry about that. With the internet and sites like Facebook and MySpace, I have managed to stay in touch with a lot of my high school and college friends. In fact, once I broke down and got a Facebook page, I had a couple of people I hadn't heard from or seen in the 10 years since high school that found and friended me.

Even cooler to find out that someone from your past is also a fellow blogger. :) Cheyenne was my sorority sister in college. She was our pledge class president and an all around great person. She was always a super hard worker and managed to get things done when no one else could.

Cheyenne is now blogging about her weight loss. She's lost over 50 pounds so far and I have to say I am very proud of her! I wish I had that kind of will power.

If you are so inclined, go check out her blog and welcome her to the blogosphere at Diary of a B.I.G. P.H.A.T. Girl.

That's my visit to the past, and now I am looking toward the future. My endo appointment is Monday morning. I've got my medical records from my former endo, I've downloaded my pump info into my computer, I have my directions for the trip....now to just get there in one piece and see what this doctor can do for me.

I'll admit I'm a little nervous about meeting this new doctor. I think that's normal. But I always wonder if the new doctor is going to think I'm doing an okay job with my care...or am I in for a tongue lashing about something... so keep me in all your prayers on Monday morning as I embark on this new part of my diabetes care and my diabetes life.

Also, I'm in the mood for change. I need a new blog design. I've been trying to think of some new designs and trying to search on some websites for some new designs, but I haven't had any inspiration yet.

Anyone have any ideas? Or any great website I could visit for a new design? Any help, advice or tips would be more than welcome.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend! Here's another cake I did a few weeks ago. Enjoy!

The Search...The First Move

Well, I called the Vanderbilt Diabetes Center. It's probably the best hospital in the state. And I've heard good things about the center from several different people. On Friday, I decided I'd try there first in my search for a new endo.

I've not had a million endos in my life. There were quite a few years where I didn't go to a doctor at all. But, I do remember that it usually takes weeks to get an initial appointment with a specialist of any kind unless it's an "emergency". But the people I spoke with on the phone were polite, professional, and in the matter of 10 minutes I had an appointment for Monday, August 17th, and a reminder to bring in my current medical records.

Wow.

That was quick.

So, I made a call to my current doctor and requested that the get my records ready for me. And in a little over a week, I'll have an appointment with a new doctor. And hopefully one that will listen to me and will answer my questions.

The bad part....the drive. I'll have over a two hour drive and I'll be fighting commuter traffic in Nashville on a Monday morning. Sigh. I've done it before. But it's not my favorite thing to do. I get stressed out. But, my health is more important. So I will go.

I have the D-OC to thank for this change. I don't know that I would be so interested in keeping my doctors appointments and keeping my health under control in such a manner if it weren't for you guys. Thanks for all you do! :)

Here are some pictures I took last weekend. There is this old field that is full of classic cars. None of them work. But the person who owns them refuses to sell them. They've been there my entire life (and probably about longer). But, I have a love of classic cars and thought these would be some cool pictures. Enjoy. :)

The Search....

Well, I've decided it's time to get off my tush and begin my search for another endo. My current endo and I just aren't working. I've been putting it off for a while now. My last A1c was 6.7. I'm pretty happy with that, but I'd like it lower. I missed my last appointment with m endo...partly on purpose, but partially on accident too. I've not had an A1c done in 6, almost 7 months.

I've never stopped taking care of myself, but I am ready to get some help from a doctor. And I need to get all of my prescriptions re-done also.

I've been lazy. In the past several months I've made half-hearted attempts to search for another endo and just haven't done it yet. Today's the day. I am going to make a phone call or two to try to find out if I need a referral.

The sad part is that I will be driving over 2 hours to the new endo. I've decided that if I want to get the kind of care I want, I'll have to go where there are more than just 1 or 2 doctors. I am going to have to go to Nashville or Knoxville.

So, wish me luck while I begin to make phone calls and get my diabetes life back on track.

p.s. If you are looking for a new good addition to your music collection, try out Sugarland's Live On The Inside. It's a CD/DVD. And it's fantastic. Even if you aren't a big country fan.

My Obsession

I had a friend tell me once that I was obsessed with New York City. I couldn't deny it. But I have to say, my love of NYC isn't so much the city itself (although it is fantastically fun!), but my sick obsession with theater.

And where is the best place in the world to experience theater: Broadway.

As a child, my mom used to sing me to sleep many times. Most of the songs she sang to me were from musicals. In among the "Rock-a-Bye Baby" were songs like "I Feel Pretty", "Do-Re-Mi", and "My Favorite Things".

In high school, I took drama, which consisted of performing in a couple of really lame plays. But it was so much fun for me. I never had to audition for the plays in high school, so when it came time to go to college, I could never muster up the courage to try out for any plays on my own.

But, I had been bitten by the bug.

On my senior trip in high school, my class went to Washington, D.C., Hershey, PA, and NYC. While we were in New York, we got to see a Broadway show. You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. I don't remember a lot about that show. But I do remember running into Charlie on the street after the show. I was too shocked to speak to him and he was on a cell phone at the time. But I had no idea who he was, really. In reality, he was Anthony Rapp. Original Broadway Cast member of Rent.

As I look back on it now, I also realize that Kristin Chenoweth was in that show. Kristin won a Tony for her role. And later went on to originate the role of Galinda/Glinda in Wicked.
And B.D. Wong was also in the show. He now has a recurring role on Law & Order: SVU, which is a favorite show of mine.

That show made me want to go back to NYC. It would be 6 years before I made it back to New York. In 2005, I was able to go back to New York. The play I chose to see was Steel Magnolias (all my diabetic readers...wait, that's ALL my readers. Don't hate me. I love the movie.). My mother hates the movie. She says it morbid. I am inclined to agree that the movie is morbid. But I've aways loved it. And I wanted to see it on Broadway. Delta Burke, Christine Ebersole, and Rebecca Gayheart were some of the talents that I was able to see in that show.

Again in 2007, I went to New York. This time I saw Mary Poppins. In fact, the picture on my profile was taken after the show when my friend and I went to dinner. (side note: my blood sugar was over 400. I had MAJORLY overcorrected a low right before the show)

Then, just this past May, I returned. I was able to see two plays on this trip. Next to Normal (thanks a million times over to Allison, who went with me!), and The Little Mermaid (that I went to see w/ my traveling buddy, Amanda).
Next to Normal was a fantastic show. I'm putting a clip of one of my favorite songs/scenes in the show if you guys would like to watch it. Alice Ripley won a Tony for her role in this show. It's a truly moving show about the effect of a mother's bi-polar disorder on her family.



That same vacation I also saw Rent on tour in Washington, D.C. This show had two original cast members, Anthony Rapp (who I saw in You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown 10 years ago!) and Adam Pascal. This is the last tour for Rent and it closed on Broadway last September. I felt blessed to get to go to this show. (oh, another side note: the director of Rent is the same director of Next to Normal.)

At this point the ball is rolling wide open.

1st play = 1999
2nd = 2005
3rd = 2007
4th, 5th, and 6th = May of 2009

When I got back home in May, tickets for Wicked: The Musical were going on sale for the September tour stop in Nashville. I, of course, bought them (only 48 more days!!!!).

But, before September could get here, Legally Blonde: The Musical made a stop in Nashville. I had no plans to go see this one, but Laura Bell Bundy, who originated the role of Elle on Broadway, stepped in to reprise her role for the week. She is currently living in Nashville, recording a country album (HOW COOL!). When I found out that she would be stepping in, I got tickets as soon as I could. My seats were crap, but it was opening night and very fun. As I put it in a Tweet, it was 2 hours of pink, sparkly goodness. Oh, and Laura Bell also originated the role of Amber VonTussle in Hairspray, which I would have loved to have seen on Broadway, but never got the chance.

7th show = June 2009

8th show = (projected, of course) September 2009.

So, as you can see, it official. I am obsessed. None of my friends really understand it. And that's okay. I just have to find a willing soul to drag along with me. :)

My perfect life: winning the lotto (oh wait, I don't play) and buying a place in NYC where I could just watch plays all the time.

A Cool Encounter

Since I've been gone from blogging so long, I have a few cool diabetic stories to tell you guys about. Here's the first one:

I was out a few weeks ago to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I'm a totally Harry Potter fan. I actually read the first book as a pre-American release because my mother worked at a library. They get advanced copies of everything! So it's safe to say I've been a fan from almost the beginning.

I usually go see the movies when they come to the theater. So far, I've only missed seeing Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in the theater.

This time around, I had a friend who wanted to go see it at a local drive-in. I'd not been to this drive in before, but I was up for seeing the movie, so off we went. We got there really early to get a good spot, so we were eating our food, sitting in our chairs in front of the car.

*side note: anyone who's not ever been to a drive-in should totally go. It's a blast!*

As I was walking by the vehicle next to us to throw out my trash, someone says to me "What type of insulin pump do you have?"

I turned, a little surprised (I keep my pump clipped to my pocket, pump side in) and started to answer, when the woman who was with the gentleman who asked me said "It's a MiniMed!".

I laughed and said, "Okay, who's the diabetic?"

Turns out the guy was a diabetic and on the OmniPod system. We all chatted for a little while and I even got some suggestions on finding a new doctor, since I'm looking for a new one now.

It was a nice conversation. I shared with them about the online community and about some of the great people I've met in the D-OC.

It's amazing to me how diabetes can pull complete strangers together. We may have nothing in common, other that diabetes, but it's enough to have hours worth of conversation. Because, as we all know, there's nothing like diabetes to get people talking.

I believe that's the first time I've ever had a random stranger comment on my pump. And it was nice to meet some new people with diabetes.

Telemarketers....they are too good.

Most of the time I'm the type of girl who doesn't talk to telemarketers. I try my best not to be mean to them, but mostly, I just tell them no thanks and hang up.

Ninety -nine percent of the time I'm just not interested in whatever it is they are trying to sell.

But, tonight they got me.

Seriously.

It was someone calling on behalf of American Diabetes Association to renew my membership. I think it ran out last month. I was just going to let it expire. I read Forecast magazine. But I've been trying my best to be smarter with my money lately. And that included letting some subscriptions go.

My membership to ADA and to JDRF were some of those things.

(Please don't stone me for it!)

But, the lady was just so nice. And I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. And I'm a proud member of ADA for another 2 years.



Oh, and she also made a comment about my accent. LOL

Those of you that have met me....am I really that hard to understand??