This Date In History

February 5, 1986. I'm sure there were lots of things going on in the world. I don't know what they were. I'm sure there were treaties being signed, or rock stars dying, or someone famous that was arrested. Maybe not. Who knows.

But February 5, 1986 was a day that my world, and the world of those around me, changed forever. After being very sick for a while, having nightmares, drinking water til it poured out the corner of my mouth, and wetting the bed several times a night, my mother took me to my family doctor. I'm sure there were other symptoms. I don't know what they were.

That morning, in the doctor's office, Dr. Joshi didn't even take my blood sugar before looking at my mother and telling her I had diabetes. A blood test verified it. As for the exact number, I don't know what it was. But my mother has always said that Dr. Joshi looked at her and said "How fast can you get her to Cookeville?" I'm sure they could have put me in an ambulance. But mom took me herself. The doctor told her not to even stop at home for clothes. Just to get me there.

I was in the hospital for several days, but you've all read this story before.

Instead, I want to talk about how much diabetes has given me. It's given me strength. It's given me friends. It's given me something that I think kept me out of trouble as a teen (nothing like the fear of getting sick to make you not was to party as a high schooler). Diabetes has given me sympathy for others and understanding that I don't think I would have otherwise.

It's been with me through thick and thin. Keeping me company, in a weird way. Present at every holiday and birthday. On every vacation. At every class I've taken. It was with me when I graduated college and when I paid off my first car. It was with me when I had my first date and my first kiss. And until a cure happens, it will be with me at every other major event (and minor event) in my life.

Boston Cream Pie Cake

So today, 24 years to the day after my world changed forever, I am going to have cake. And eat it too. I'm going to test and bolus and correct as needed. And have a wonderful time doing it.

This is the cake I really wanted....but, alas, it was made by Charm City Cakes and A) I can't afford it and B) it's too far away. Sigh. Someday.

TMI Post-Men, You've Been Warned

Okay, as most of you know I'm typically not a person who writes highly emotionally charged posts like I did on Sunday night. I was just feeling very frustrated and highly annoyed. However, it now makes sense. My monthly visitor came today. And as all of us women know, PMSing is one of the most emotionally charged times of our month.

Over the weekend I was fighting horrible high blood sugars. I assumed it was because I was constantly snacking and not doing alot because I was snowed in. However, hind sight's 20/20, right?

Typically, for 2 to 3 days before I start my period, my blood sugar runs crazy high. If I am thinking straight and I know it's coming, I'm prepared and I raise my basal rate by 10-20%. This usually works quite well.

Then, the day I start, my blood sugars plummet. I mean, non-diabetic type plummet. Yesterday around 6 p.m. my blood sugar leveled out at around 100. And it stayed there. All night long. I even tested in the middle of the night. I was 113. This morning, I woke up 93. By the time I got to work, I was 96 (this almost NEVER happens. My dawn phenomenon hits around 7:30 and I'm raising rapidly by the time I get to work at 8:00).

All day long I ate. I ate bad stuff. I ate food that I didn't bolus for. And I never got above 144. All day long. According to my pump, my daily average was 111. My daily sensor average was 96.

It's ironic really. That on a day when I truly feel like I've been hit by a truck (possibly a truck full of penguins....who knows) and I'm tired and cranky, that my blood sugar chooses to behave. Perfectly.

It must be Mother Nature's way of giving the diabetic chick a break. "Hey, since you have to feel like crap from your period once a month, I'll let the diabetes give you a break for a day or two. How's that? Will that work for you?" Well, Mother Nature, it would work better if I didn't feel like crap....and I didn't have diabetes in the first place. But hey, beggars can't be choosers, right?

Variety in Life

I am a person who tends to like things to stay the same. I hate to move. I hate things to be "sprung" on me. I like plans. I tend to eat the same things every time I go out to eat (although that might have something to do with knowing what certain foods do to my blood sugars...).

But, I do like all different kinds of thing. Routine is good. Pigeonhole-ing yourself is not.

I like all kinds of movies. Comedy, drama, action, teen-flicks, musicals.

I also like all kinds of music. I've written before about my love of music. I have very eclectic tastes.

Last night the Grammy's were on TV. I usually like to watch award shows because they give me a chance to see live performances that I'd otherwise not have a chance to see. I was, however, hanging out on Twitter while the show was on. It hurt me and disturbed me to no end how terribly unforgiving and judgemental that people were of different performances, artists, and songs.

I don't like all music. I'm not a fan of every artist. But talent comes in many forms. And I've always lived by the whole "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" mantra. I respect people's opinions, don't get me wrong. If you don't like county/rock/rap/pop/show tunes/whatever...it's your right not to like it. That's okay. I respect that.

But the bashing of an artist because you a) don't know who they are or b) don't like the genre of music they sing is NOT cool. I can promise you they love what music they are performing. And when you love something, you put 100% into it.

It is true that some performances are just flat out bad. I've seen it. I've even said "that was NOT good." It just seemed to me that people online were doling out judgements before ever even giving the performers a chance. My idea of a bad performance is one where they aren't on key, screw up the words, aren't on beat, etc. Not just that I didn't like the song or music.

That being said, I loved watching the Grammy's last night. There were some beautiful performances. Some of them will be YouTube worthy, no doubt. On in particular was the performance of Green Day with the cast of the soon-to-open Broadway show American Idiot. Obviously, all the music in the show is Green Day music. :) (Oh, and by the way, I'm not a huge fan of Green Day. But I liked this performance. And I plan on seeing the Broadway show with a friend of mine later this year.)



Also, I can assure you, all my lovely readers, that I wasn't mad per-say. Just disturbed at how cruel people can be in general. And, I typically don't get all "political" about things as I don't like to push buttons and I certainly don't like to fight about stuff. But I needed a place to vent and also to encourage people to try new things. Being open to new experiences is a good thing. I think it makes us better people. And more understanding people.

Snow

The Tennessee version of a snow storm:

Final amount: around 6"

For us, that was a blizzard. :)

Positoovity

Today I'm gonna mix a little music and a little diabetes. :) Since it's my designated Music Monday, I figured I'd get 2 in one.
Earlier today Allison blogged about the choice of words. Basically, how we see ourselves as diabetics (or people with diabetes). Her question was "Suffering from, or living with?" I whole-heartedly believe that I live with diabetes. In my comment on her blog, I compared it to a crappy roommate you can't get rid of because of the lease. Some days are easier to live with the roommate than others. She pointed out that she didn't sign a lease and that she preferred to look at it like an annoying little brother. I think I like her analogy better than mine.

I got my analogy from the only bad living situation I ever had, which was a crappy roommate. Both my siblings are so far away from me in age there's not a lot of "annoying sibling" stuff in my life. We won't ask Allison how she relates to her "little brother" analogy. ;)

Allison is right though. None of us signed a lease. We just got stuck with it. And we live with it the best way we know how.
I do think, however, that our attitudes have everything to do with what category we fall into. To me, one who "suffers" from diabetes is letting diabetes have the upper hand. One who "lives with" diabetes has found a way to co-habitate. I think a lot of us in the D-OC have become people who "live with" diabetes. I won't say all, because there are always the exception to the rule, but I think the D-OC has helped me, and probably a lot of you, pick the more positive category.
No matter how much that little brother known as diabetes may annoy us, and drive us up the wall, deep down we can still appreciate it. Maybe not love diabetes, but was can love what diabetes has given us. For me, diabetes has given me a world of online friends and a wonderful support system. It has given me strength in ways I'm not sure I ever would have had on my own. And diabetes is just as much a part of my life as my big brother or my little sister...the only difference is that diabetes is slightly more annoying. :P
Now for the music....and come to think of it, the theater connection to my post. There's a song that was in The Little Mermaid on Broadway (which I was lucky enough to get to see on my last trip to the Big Apple) that was sung by Scuttle the Seagull. It's called Positoovity. And that's what I want to have. Positoovity about diabetes. Positoovity about life. Yes, the song's silly. But I think, just like a silly song, that our attitude's have everything to do with how we live our lives, with or without diabetes.

Careful Consideration

After careful consideration, I deleted one of my former posts today. It was titled Dr. Bernstein and was originally posted 11/27/07. It was one of my most commented on posts. There were 14 approved comments on that post when I checked today.
I had mentioned a few weeks ago, that I was dealing with a lot of spam comments on my blog lately. It had gotten to the point that it was literally driving me up the wall. I started to keep track of which posts the spam comments were going to and I discovered that a vast majority of them were on the Dr. Bernstein post. Because of this, I decided to delete the post.
I think it's sad that I should have to delete one of my most popular (controversial, but popular) posts just to try to ward off the spammers.
However, I'm hoping that by removing the most spammed post, I'll cut down on the comments. Let's all cross our fingers and hope I'm right, okay? :)
I'll be posting later on this week. And, if it goes according to plan, it will be another theatre post.
Hope you all have a fantastic week!

Holiday Caking

I had about a million cakes to make (and cupcakes to make!) Between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some of them turned out okay, other's not so much. Sure, they tasted good, but when it come to decorating, I'm somewhat of a perfectionist....making me way harder on myself than I probably need to be.

However, I have one that I was kind of proud of. It tasted great and I thought it looked pretty cool, even though it didn't exactly turn out like I wanted it to.

I started with a recipe called Midnight Chocolate Cake. It was in one of my Cake Mix Doctor books that I got from my D-OC Secret Santa last year, the lovely Kathy. It was described as a dark chocolate cake. A co-worker of mine described it as tasting kind of like an Oreo Cakester.

It really was a great tasting cake. All of the recipes I have used from any of the Cake Mix Doctor books has been great. And easy. They've become my "fall back" recipe books for a fail proof, great tasting cake (or cupcake).

I wanted something Christmas-y. So I went with holly. I had bought a set of Christmas mini cookie cutters and it had the perfect holly leaf cutter. I iced my cake cake with buttercreme icing, but all my details were made from marshmallow fondant. I tried to make a fondant rope with two strands of red and green fondant, but they wouldn't stay, so instead I mashed them together and make a kind of tie-dyed looking border on the bottom.

To finish it all up, we know that everyone loves sparkly things, so I dusted the accents with some luster dust.

I think it turned out pretty good, although, like most of the cakes I do, it didn't really look like anything in my head. But, I think most artists must have that problem. Does it EVER turn out like we think it will? I think not. Enjoy!

Wrong!

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post on what I found out when I picked up my medical records. For the first couple of days I was so shocked that I didn't know what to post. Then Christmas snuck up on me and I spent the holidays busy and crazy all at the same time.

I'm hoping that everyone had a wonderful Christmas. My Christmas was different this year. I spent the normal Christmas Eve with my dad and his family. We had a great meal, thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law. Things have been different with holidays in general this year because we lost my grandmother in May. But Christmas turned out good in spite of that. Christmas day, however, was a different story. Early in the week of Christmas, my little sister got sick. Within a couple of days, my mom and step-dad were also sick. Official diagnosis: FLU!

Thankfully, I hadn't been around them in a few days, so I had not been exposed. But I have not had my flu shot and had no desire to risk the flu. So, all of their Christmas presents still sit under my tree. And we are waiting, probably until this weekend, to exchange gifts.

But, I have wonderful friends who stepped right in. I had Christmas dinner at the home of one of my oldest friends (we met the first day of kindergarten!) with her husband, son, and both sets of parents. It was very nice and very wonderful. They are like my substitute family anyway, so it wasn't great to be able to see them on Christmas Day.

I also went with another friend of mine to see The Blind Side Christmas night. Personal recommendation from me: SEE IT! Fantastic family movie.

Now, back to the date. I picked up my medical records on my way to my endo appointment. At first glance the date says 6/15. June. Exactly when I thought. Not really paying attention to anything else, I was feeling kind of happy that I knew the date. Then I took the time to look at the doctor's name. It wasn't my childhood endo. Which made me start reading a little closer. These records were dated 06-15-86. A year after I originally thought my date was. And then on the final diagnosis, I realized it was the records from my tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. Which I remember vividly as being AFTER I was diagnosed with diabetes. Mostly cause the Popsicles I got after the surgery were of the sugar free variety.

I started reading my records closer. On the second page it states "This patient is a 5 year old white female who has been a known diabetic for the past 4 months."

The past 4 months.

Four months from June is February, 1986. Nearly a year after when I thought my diagnosis date was. Apparently I was closer to 5 than 4. At first I thought the actual date wasn't on the papers. But in the upper corner of the first page there is a box that had been filled in that listed "prev adm date 2/05/86" and "prev dis date 2/13/86". I know that 2/5/86 is my diagnosis date. I was in the hospital for a week, according to my mother, and since the note that say "known diabetic for the past 4 months" narrows it down to February, that leaves 2/5/86 as my diagnosis date.

On one hand, I can't apply for my Joslin medal until next year. On the other, I have 8 months LESS diabetic damage and wear and tear on my body. I'll take the good over the bad any day.

Also, a few funny notes on my medical records:

"The patient was scheduled for T&A until the diabetes was found, and it was cancelled until this could be brought under control."

Urinalysis: 2+ (this might not mean anything to you newer diabetics, but us old schoolers know that's BAD!)

Hemaglobin 12.6 (Ekkkkk!!!!! This is what they considered "brought under control"????)

"The patient takes 17 units of NPH Insulin in the morning" (Wow. That's it.)

So, now you guys know my crazy story. I know my date. And I fully plan on throwing myself a diaversary party! :) Anyone wanna come?

The Date

Since I joined the D-OC, I've noticed that most of you know your exact diagnosis date. Right down to the day. A lot of you even "celebrate" it. I think that is so cool. For years, I've always claimed June of 1985 as my diagnosis month. But to be honest, I'm not sure. I was only 4 years old. And part of me thinks my mom blocked out the horrible experience the best she could. As for an exact day, I have no clue.

I've wondered. I contemplated searching for medical records. But I put it off. Time and time again. I've changed primary care physicians several times over my life. And I had to think that the doctor who cared for me when I was diagnosed had probably gotten rid of my records. It was, after all, nearly 25 years ago.

About a week ago I had an idea. I was taken immediately from my doctor's office to a hospital in a neighboring town to be admitted when I was diagnosed. Hospitals are much better about keeping medical records on file. So, I picked up my phone and called the hospital. I was transferred to the records department and no one answered. I was able to leave a message and I just figured that they'd get to me when they could. In all honesty, I didn't think I'd even get a call back.

Within two days, I had a return call from a very nice lady. I told her the approximate time frame for my records (May thru September of 1985). She pulled me up on the computer and there was nothing in the computer from those dates. But, she said they often kept medical records on file and had most of the 80's still at the hospital. She took my information and said she'd call me back.

Again, I had my doubts. Twenty-five years is a long time to keep medical records. But, yesterday I got a phone call stating they had found my records and I could come pick them up anytime!

So, as of tomorrow (ironically, on my way to my endo appointment in Nashville), I will be stopping to pick up my records. And I'll know my official diagnosis date. And, I plan on applying for my 25 year Joslin Medal.

This gives me a sense of satisfaction, that I'll know when I was diagnosed exactly. And that I'll have a date to "celebrate".

My First Music Monday

Well, today I post my first Music post. Christmas is coming quickly and I am getting into the mood for Christmas with lots of Christmas music, baking, and Christmas movies. And, I'd like to introduce you to one of my favorite bands. I listen to all types of music. There's very little I won't at least try to like. Being from Tennessee, a lot of country comes into my playlist. And one of the best bands I've ever seen live or heard on the radio is a country band.

Meet Sugarland.

I didn't jump on the Sugarland band wagon right away. Their debut CD had been out for a while before I bought it, at my friend's suggestion. I fell in love with Jennifer Nettles' vocals from day one. In my opinion, she has one of the most distinctive voices in music.

In October of 2006, I was lucky enough to win tickets to their sophomore album CD release party in Nashville. I stood feet from the stage. If I wasn't hooked before then, the live show did me in.

In March of 2007, I was able, thanks to a friend of mine, to see them in concert again.

I've seen a lot of concerts in my life. Not all of them country. But I have to say, Sugarland is one I'd pay full price to see EVERY TIME I HAD A CHANCE. They are just that good live.

And they have such an eclectic sound. Some of their music is totally country, other times you hear pop or folk.

On their live album, they even covered songs by bands like Kings of Leon (I'd never even HEARD of them until Sugarland covered Sex on Fire, now they are one of my current favorite bands), R.E.M., and Beyonce.

Most recently, however, they have a new Christmas CD. I've not purchased it yet (shame on me! I'm such a bad fan.), but have listened to it on the internet. I love it. They even performed one of their songs at the Grammy nomination concert. And were kind enough to post it on their website, so I could share it with all of you.




Let me say just one thing, if you say you don't like country music, I encourage you to give Sugarland a try.



p.s. If you get a chance to see them in concert, TAKE IT!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

I've decided that I MISS blogging. I miss my d-friends. I miss chatting with you. I miss reading your comments. Lately I've felt very much like the community it so large that I can no longer keep up with all the blogs I want to read. But, I am determined to try. And I am determined to make an effort to blog on a regular basis. Maybe not daily, but at least a couple of times per week.

So, this means changes. And I am very much going to need YOUR help. Yep, YOU. Whomever you are reading this. Yeah, I'm talking about you.

First off, I've decided to change how I blog. Diabetes is such a major part of my life. Of all of our lives. But, it's not all I am. I have interests and hobbies and a life that doesn't always deal with diabetes. I love music (though I'm not talented), theatre (though I don't act), reading, baking and cake decorating. Just like we all do. So, I am going to actively start blogging about things besides diabetes. I will blog about diabetes too, but I am going to blog about other things as well. I even have a semi-schedule set up. Although I probably won't blog daily, I plan on having days marked off for certain topics.

Mondays -Music. It may be what I'm listening to, what I've bought, or something I've read.

Tuesdays - Diabetes. You guys all know this one. ;)

Wednesdays - Cakes and baking

Thursdays - Theatre

Friday - Whatever I feel like! :)

Secondly, I need to update my blog itself. I want a new design. I am open to suggestions. If anyone has any tips, websites, etc. I want my blog to reflect me. Not just my diabetes, but every aspect of my life. And my personality.

Third - I need to update my blogroll. Badly. Many of the blogs I have listed don't blog anymore, or have moved sites. Or I have a name wrong. Or something. So if you blog, please drop me a comment w/ your blog address and name of your blog. Even if I've never commented on your blog before, I am looking to get back to the community and that means "meeting" the newer bloggers.

So, fellow bloggers, I'm asking for your help. Help me out! I miss you guys. :)