I know there are a lot of people who sit around and worry and fret over their future in relation to diabetes. What if I loose a limb? What if I have to have an amputation? What if my kidneys fail?
While these are all very real possibilities, they are by no means something I sit around thinking about. If I did, I'd worry myself straight into the grave long before diabetes ever even got it's chance.
Instead, I live my life to the best of my ability and let God take care of the rest. I do the best I can do at any given moment to take care of my diabetes. Sometimes my blood sugars are good. Sometimes they aren't. Either way, it's just that single moment in time. I fix it and move on.
I do have fears though. But they are more immediate fears. The right now, so to speak.
Here's my example:
I have a dear friend of mine who is a single mom. She has 2 young children and not a lot of family around to help her out. We do have a fantastic church family that is always willing to step up when needed, but as some of you may know, it's nothing like having family or a significant other around to help out when you need it.
The other morning my friend called me. She was very sick with a stomach virus. She was needing help and asked me to come over and help her with her children. My first reaction (on the inside) is "Sure! I'll be right over." But my second reaction wins out.
Fear. What if I get this virus? What if I end up in the hospital from it? (It was entirely possible as one of her children already had it and had to do to the hospital) What if, what if, what if?
I told her no. But I offered to help her find someone to come instead. She called some other people and got the help she needed.
That fear made me sad. It made me angry. And it made me realize what a great community we have here in the D-OC. I tweeted my frustrations about not being able to help my friend and had 2 different people (from 2 different states faaaarrrr away from me) want to know where in Tennessee I was because they had friends/family that might have been able to help out.
I hate that I have to be scared of getting sick. I've not been in the hospital in about 6 years. I've not been in the hospital overnight since I was....wow, I think I was about 7 years old. But that fear is there. The fact that I can get sicker, quicker and worse than a lot of my healthy friends makes me angry. Because earlier this week, it interfered with my being able to help a friend.
The immediate fears are there. No, I don't think about them all the time, but they are in my mind when I'm making decisions about when to test, when to eat, when to call a doctor, and apparently when to help a friend or not.
Do you guys have fears like that? Immediate fears dealing with the right now instead of the far off future?