Thursday, April 22, 2010

I Wonder....

I wonder..... if people see me and think of me as the diabetic who's name is Cara, or as Cara who happens to have diabetes


I wonder..... if people see me and think if I lost weight and exercised, my diabetes would go away.


I wonder..... if people think of me as sick.


I wonder..... if people pity me.


I wonder..... if I'll end up with complications that will drastically alter my life.


I wonder..... if I will ever not wake up.


I wonder..... if there will ever be a truly closed loop system so I can live my life with less worries and stress.


I wonder..... what it is like to work doing a job you love, and not a job that give you great health insurance.


I wonder..... if I'll ever meet all of my blogger friends.


I wonder..... if people that I love worry about me in regards to my diabetes.


I wonder..... if I can take that worry away from them.


I wonder..... if I'll ever get over the guilt of making my mother's cry.


I wonder..... if being my friend is harder that being someone else's friend.


I wonder..... what I would be without diabetes.


I wonder..... if I'll ever figure myself out well enough to know what I want to do with my life.


I wonder..... if diabetes will be part of that.


I wonder..... if there will ever be a cure.

13 comments:

olivejooice said...

I love this post. I wonder the same things :)

As far as the blogger friends goes, I hope that one day I can meet you!! Until then, I will be checking for new posts and trying to give any support I can :)

~J-ME~ said...

I love this, you do have alot to wonder... but that's normal. I do worry about you but, not about the things you may think. you know me...

Nan said...

wonder-full list Cara!! i think about those things for my daughter...

Stacey D. said...

I think a lot of us probably wonder a lot of those diabetes thoughts ... I know I do. It's impossible for it not to shape a lot of who we are. Or aren't I suppose.
And I hope you can check me off of your meeting list in about 3 weeks :)

tmana said...

FWIW, most people do not have jobs they love -- they have jobs they can get, that will (hopefully) pay the bills. Whether this is a function of salary, benefits, or stripping down what one needs to the barest of essentials (for most people, a sheltered corner to sleep in and enough food and water to make it to the next day) is another story.

chris bishop said...

I also Wonder.... I think most of us wonder about many of these points. I believe some can be answered, some will be answered, some we may never know and some that we can only hope to come true.

Great post.

The poor diabetic said...

As a diabetic, I have the same thoughts if not most especially what the end game is gonna be...ditto

makingthechoice said...

Beautiful post, Cara. I've wondered many of these things myself, too, diabetes affects so much in our lives, you can't help but wonder what it would be like without it.

Daena said...

Long time no type, Cara! :) I love this list, and I wonder about the same things all the time too. I'm now blogging at sugarfreemusings.wordpress.com. :)

Scott K. Johnson said...

What a great post Cara. Thank you.

Becca said...

I've had a few frustrating days with my diabetes and reading your post made me feel less alone!

Cherise said...

Love it!!!! great post! Btw, If all goes well I maybe making a trip to TN.

Cara said...

Cherise....NO WAY!!!!! You let me know when and where and I'll do my best to come see you! :)