Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Waiting on Direction

Lately, I've been dealing with a lot of different things. Diabetes is kicking my tail right now. Or maybe I'm letting it kick my tail. When I switched doctors to Vanderbilt Diabetes Center, my first A1c was 6.7. I knew that was higher than it had been running. And I didn't like it. It had slowly been creeping back up on me, due to a variety of reasons. My second appointment at Vanderbilt was last Wednesday. At that appointment, in less than the normal 3 month period, it had gone up again to 6.9. That is the highest A1c I've had since before going on CGMS. VERY close to being my highest since going on the pump.

I was NOT pleased with this. But I knew it was going to be high. I knew it was going to be something that was an issue for me.

First off, let me give you a little bit of background, I've been STRESSED. ALOT. My job is killing me right now. I've lost almost any desire to work there. The few aspects of my job that always annoyed me seem to be around all the time now, and the good parts seem to be getting fewer and fewer. Also, stress seems to seep into other areas of my life as well. This is effecting my diabetes. In the mix with this, I had a trip out of town (and we all know how that effects the blood sugars), or two or three. And I've been having trouble sleeping.

So, you see, diabetes has been crazy here lately. I'm quite positive, that without my CGMS, my A1c would have been much higher.

Still, I want it down. I'm currently tracking my blood sugars to fax to my nurse practitioner at the end of the week. I'm also doing my best not to get terribly stressed at work; you know, leave it there kind of thing.

In the midst of this, I've been attending a class called Financial Peace University that is a Dave Ramsey course. Dave Ramsey, if you didn't know, is a financial advisor and helps people to get and stay out of debt. If you have ever thought about getting out of debt, thought you had too much debt, weren't sure where all your money is going, or basically felt like you wanted to have more money to do fun stuff with, I highly suggest you check out Dave Ramsey. He's fantastic. And he doesn't just deal with money. Last week, the lesson was on working in your strengths. Basically, finding what you love to do and doing it as a career. If you are meant to be an artist, you're going to make a really bad banker...or at least not the banker you could be if you were meant to be one. :)

On of the books he mentions in that lesson is a book called 48 Days to the Work You Love by a man named Dan Miller. The book, so far (I'm only part way through), is touching on God's calling for our lives. Everyone is born with certain traits, certain good things they are good at. And yet, we spend all our time working on the things we AREN'T good at, instead of cultivating the good things. Hmmm...think about that for a while.

Anyway, there was a poem in the book that really touched me. And made me think that I need to start looking for ways to do what I love...but first I have to figure out what that is. :)

"A Prayer for Joy"

Help me, O God,
To listen to what it is that makes my heart glad
And to follow where it leads.
May joy, not guilt,
Your voice, not the voices of others,
Your will, not my willfulness,
Be the guides that lead me to my vocation.
Help me to unearth the passions of my heart
That lay buried in my youth.
And help me to go over that ground again and again
Until I can hold in my hands,
Hold and treasure,
Your calling on my life.

--Ken Gire, Windows of the Soul

I don't know what I'm going to do, or when, or how. But for now, this is my prayer. I don't think a job should make a person unhappy. And when it effects my diabetes health, it becomes even more of an issue. So today, I go to work to be the most positive, hard working person I can be. And to continue to pray for guidance and direction for what He wants me to do with my life.


Lee Ann Thill said...

The hardest part of finding a purposeful career is being patient, not one of my strenghs. It's been hard to feel the success of the small steps, when the place I really want to be seems so distant sometimes. I can see that I'm much closer now than I was a couple of years ago though, so that's been encouraging. I hope these steps you're taking now bring you closer to what you're meant to be doing.

As far as the A1c, I know it's frustrating to watch it creep up like that. I haven't had sensors for the last several weeks, so I'm afraid my next results will be disappointing. I'll try not to let it bother me, but I know that's easier said than done. At least having some insight to the cause gives me a little consolation, as it's better than not knowing why it's bumped up. It's still. A bummer though...

Araby62 (a.k.a. Kathy) said...

Here here! :) Good luck Cara. I totally understand where you're coming from. Hope you find your true path.

Chris Stocker said...

There is an amazing book about doing what you love for your job. It is called "Crush It" by Gary Vaynerchuck. You will be more inspired than anytime ever in your life. I understand exactly how you feel with the job and stress situation. Sometimes it feels that the people at your job know what irritates you and do it purposely.

Cara said...

Chris, that's actually on my "To Read" list. Dan Miller, the author of 48 Days, recommended it on his podcast. :)

Scott K. Johnson said...

Great post Cara, and very timely for me and my situation.

I'm sure that you'll "Crush it"! Your A1C goals and your employment goals.

Thank you!