I've just been thinking today, about some things that I think have a way of coming to the forefront when you are a diabetic. I am 25 years old and I have a pill box. You know, one of those 7-day, old lady, pill boxes. That's pathetic. And kind of depressing. I take a pill for cholesterol, a daily vitamin, a vitamin c pill, a fish oil pill (has to do with the cholesterol. My doctor recommended eating more fish...I hate fish, therefore I take a fish oil pill.), and a cranberry pill (darn those pesky little UTI's). I think I take as many pills as my grandmother. That's sad.
Part of me just wishes I was normal. The other part of me just accepts it. I'll never be "normal". I can be as normal as possible, I won't let the diabetes get in the way of me living my life to the fullest, but I will never have a life free of a1C tests, insulin, endos, and constantly having a snack with me, everywhere I go.
Up until the past few years I never really viewed myself as different. Just normal with a medical problem. I don't know how I feel about it now. I think part of the change of mindset came when I started the insulin pump. I wanted a pump so badly. I was extremely happy about getting one and had wished that I had gotten a pump years earlier. But with it, also brings a constant thought of "how's this affecting me?" and "is my a1C getting better?". Plus, I think I am harder on myself now. I know I should have better control with the pump (and I do), so I get aggravated when my blood sugars run too high or too low.
Lately, I am just trying to get to a place in my mind where I understand my own thoughts on my diabetes. You'd think after 22 years of this I would have my own thoughts worked out...I guess I don't.
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