For the past month my diabetes control has been crazy. I knew when I was on vacation that I would have some trouble, but usually within a couple of day after returning home, I'm right back to where I was before.
Not this time. My blood sugars have been uncontrollable at times. Running so high that I ran on 120% basal for almost a week and was still rage bolusing. Any lows I had (and they have been very few) were a result of a lovely rage bolus.
Every night my blood sugar has been spiking from between 2:30 to 4:30 am. Spiking up to the high 200s and even 300s. I've gotten so used to hearing my CGMS alarm go off at night that I have started completely ignoring it.
I can't remember the last time I slept all night without an alarm.
And basically, it's starting to wear me out. Physically, yes. But mostly emotionally. I am so sick of having to deal with diabetes right now. I've not been this frustrated in a while. At least not this frustrated for this long.
I'm sick of counting carbs and hearing alarms and not knowing what I'm doing wrong. I'm sick of worrying about my A1c and what the highs are doing to my body. I'm tired of feeling like I have no control over anything. I'm sick of having to remember to refill prescriptions and having to deal with insurance companies who want an "authorization" for my sensors even though I'm down to 2 and don't have time to wait on them.
This is one of those times when I wish I could have a vacation. Tina over at ACT 1 Diabetes wrote a blog post that says everything I am feeling. She's got it.
So basically, today I just want to say that Diabetes, you can take a hike.