I have discussed my diagnosis before. I talked about how my mother found out I was diabetic and what bits and pieces that I remember from that awful time in my life. But I don't think I have ever talked about this little guy:
This is a bee. I think. Actually I'm not sure that it isn't the love child of a bee and a troll. It's been through a lot of stuff. A four year old can do that to a toy. He (she?) was bought for me when I was diagnosed. I'm not sure if it was purchased in the hospital gift store, or my parents got it somewhere else and brought it to me.
I do know that I remember holding it while I was held down to get shots in the hospital. I remember it being a bribe of sorts for me not to cry. (It didn't work.) But I remember this little bee. It made me smile.
I found it the other night, in an old trunk (one I actually took to diabetes camp!) with a bunch of stuff from my childhood. I was thinking about this little bee, and I remembered that I had kept it. When I found it, I couldn't help but think about how it looked just like I remembered it. It took me back to being four years old and holding it while I lay on my stomach in a hospital bed in Cookeville, Tennessee just after my diagnosis. I can almost feel the hot tears running down my face.
But that's not the only time I remember it. I remember having it at home, playing in the bathtub (I always had lots of toys in the bathtub). I remember it getting water stuck in it and my dad taking his pocket knife to cut the hole in the bottom of it bigger, so the water could drain out. That hole is still there, of course.
This little bee went through a lot with me. And as I got older, I remembered it and kept it. When I was putting pieces of my childhood in that trunk as a teenager, in went the bee. Lots of things didn't make it into that trunk. But that bee made it. It is part of my memory of my diagnosis.
I can't tell you how long I carried around that bee, just that it survived my childhood. Not many toys can say that with any child.
So I got the bee out and took his (her?) picture to post on here. I wanted to share it with you because I know that others have some similar memories. I would love to hear about yours.
As a side note, I took the bee to my mother's house on Friday night. I asked her if she remembered it. She remembered the bee, but not when or how I had gotten it. Amazing what children remember. That little bee is something I won't ever forget.