Lifesaver

I found out last week that BCBS of TN is going to be making their decision regarding if they are going to continue to pay for CGMS for certain patients. The decision is supposed to be in the next week or so. I have known that CGMS coverage was important. I have even know that CGMS coverage was important to me. But I didn't realize how important it was until last night.

After having only 1 low in the past two months, I have been fighting lows for days. On Tuesday I had 2 lows. Wednesday 1. Thursdays I had one in the afternoon and another yesterday evening during the graduation of one of my oldest and dearest friends.

As I stood in the back of the room, holding her 2 year old son as he yelled "Yeah Mommy!" even though no one else was yelling, I knew my blood sugar was dropping. I had rung in at 79 right before the ceremony and quickly ate a cupcake, no icing, before I headed off to the church where the service was being held.

During the ceremony, I tested again. 68. Drank some juice. Later in the ceremony, tested again, 69. Ate 4 glucose tabs since I was out of juice.

After the ceremony, there was a small reception. By the time I got to the table, my blood sugar had dropped to 49. I was shaky and sweaty. I drank a cup of punch and by the time I left the church, I was back at 89.

I came home, ate a little something. When it came time for bed I was 160. I gave a bolus since I knew I had eaten and not bolused earlier. I didn't want to fight a raging rebound.

I went to bed.

Suddenly, around 1:30, my pump was wailing and vibrating and it woke me with a start. I rolled over and realized immediately that I was low. I was having trouble with my movement. I tested, somehow, and rang in at 36.

I can't remember a time when I have been that low and still be alert. I reached up to my bedside table and grabbed the juice box that resides there and drank. I waited. Trying not to fall back asleep, but knowing that my pump would start going off again in a few minutes. After 20 minutes passed I realized I was floating in and out of sleep. I re-tested. 39. Not coming up quickly enough for me I made myself get out of bed. I turned on every light that I passed and came into the kitchen where I consumed two more juice boxes, a spoonful of peanut butter and a single size cup of ice cream. Total cab intake (including the first juice box) was 57 grams.

I was in haze and I knew it.

I was dripping in a cold sweat and burning up at the same time. I kicked my air conditioner down so it would come on.

I contemplated calling someone to let them know what was going on. I was afraid to sit down or lay down because I thought I might pass out. I thought about getting out my glucogon shot and using it on myself.

I ended up walking around my kitchen for an hour. I finally tested again. 89. I feel safe to sleep. But I was still afraid.

I knew, in my mind, that my blood sugar had dropped so quickly the sensor couldn't keep up. And unlike previous times in my life, I didn't wake myself up naturally when I hit 45 or 50.

Had I not had my CGMS I fully believe I wouldn't have woken up. I think I would either be dead or in a hospital right now. I live alone. I would have been hours before anyone realized anything was wrong.

And that scares me so badly that I don't have words. I don't have anything to say.

So I have two options if BCBS decides to stop paying for my sensors. I can get a second job and try to pay for them myself. Or I can find a very understanding roommate.