Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Imagination

Lately I've not written about my diabetes as much as I was. Mostly because diabetes has been knocking me around. Giving me up and down the road, so to speak. I shared a little with you all a few weeks ago, and I actually thought, after that, things were going to get back to normal.

But, it turns out that I'll have a normal couple of days and then get right back to the crazy highs. Chasing, chasing, chasing, all the time.


And with that, comes frustrations on my part, which makes me just "give-up". Basically, I'm not as careful as I should be with carb counts, eating healthy, etc, just because I'm frustrated. So it turns into this vicious cycle.


I feel like I'm constantly chasing highs and I have so few lows that it's freaking me out. And then I check my 31 day average on my pump. And they aren't that bad. Both my blood sugar average and my sensor average are in the mid 140s. Which is a little higher than I'd like, but nowhere near as bad as I feel like I've been. And the number falls right in line with the A1c's I've been having.


So I'm confused. Am I really that out of control right now? Or is it all my imagination?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is there really such a thing as control...or is it pure dumb luck when things go well? My husband is constantly amazed at how fast and how violently I can lose "control"...
Mousie

Becca / SingleWhiteDiabetic said...

I think I could've written most of that about myself lately. Sometimes I chase the highs so hard, I can't understand how I'm not hitting a low. It's weird...this disease.

Katie said...

At my endo's yesterday, he told me about how people with a 30-day average of 180 can have a great A1c, and someone with a "better average" can have a terrible A1c. It's so much fun. Hope things even out soon. I'm in the same boat right now too, so I totally feel you! ***hugs***

Karen said...

My theory is that we are expecting more and more of ourselves, and beating ourselves up for blood sugars that we used to think of as fine. Pete is actually the one who clued me in to that one day when I was griping at myself for a post-meal reading in the 160s that needed a correction. He reminded me of the time I was on MDIs and struggling with control and would have been thrilled to see a 160.

Don't give up. Don't beat yourself up. Just keep trying . . . while cutting yourself a little bit of slack!