Weddings, Birthdays, and General Stressors

One of my very best friends in the world is getting married on Saturday. This is, in part, why I haven't been posting as regularly. I have been busy with many wedding things. Also, I have helped my baby sister celebrate her 12th birthday. When I really feel like she was just born yesterday. She's now taller than I am. Another of my friends also celebrated a birthday since the last time I posted.

I have been shoe shopping, run all over town trying to find someone to finish making my bridesmaids dress, gone to get a pedicure, made a birthday cake for my sister, and finished school for the semester (with a 101 average! Woo-hoo!).

Tomorrow I go to get a manicure and a spray tan (no time for a tanning bed!). Friday morning I get my hair colored, and Friday afternoon is the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

I have been, as I mentioned in a previous post, been dealing with a much larger insulin intake than I am used to. The past couple of days have been decent, blood sugar wise. I haven't had a number over 200 and have averaged, both days, below 140. I can't complain. This has been a little bit of stress relief, since I have been so worried about my blood sugars running high and my insulin intake.

So, here I go, into the month of May. Wish me luck.

Tomorrow is my 2nd anniversary on the pump, by the way.

A new meme that made me smile and a change in insulin intake.

The rules: Make a list of your loves. The only catch? You can’t include a single person you know on your list. No “I love the way my husband laughs” or “I love hearing my little girl call for me.” It’ll be tough, I know. But this particular little exercise is about stripping away everyone who defines you and figuring out what you (not his partner; not their mother/daughter/sister/friend) love.

1) I love music of all kinds. How it makes me feel and makes me express my emotions.
2) I love the smell of fresh cut grass.
3) I love sitting on the bank of the lake watching the water and letting time pass with no concerns.
4) I love the feeling I get when I am watching a play. There's nothing in the world like live theater.
5) I love the feeling of taking a nap on Sunday afternoon after church.
6) I love to see things I've never seen before and go places I've never been before. Travel is something I wish I could afford to do much more of.
7) I love to spend hours in a book store just wandering around looking at random books and reading the book jackets.
8) I love live music. I love to see concerts of almost any kind. This relates back to #1.


I just thought this was a fun little meme. I could go on and on about things I love. But I won't. Currently, I am dealing with major stress that I am almost positive is effecting my insulin intake. For the past 2 years that I have been pumping, I have averaged between 40 and 48 units of insulin intake per day. Some days, of course, there might be a little more or a little less, depending on what's going on around me. But in the past 30 days, I have had around 20 days of over 50 units per day. Some days there have even been over 60 units. The reason I think it is stress related is because (obviously) I am very stressed, but also because my basal rates seem to need changes except at night. This would be when I was the least stressed, since I would be asleep.
CGMS has helped me see these patterns, but I am at a loss as to what to do about it. I had an appointment yesterday with my CDE. She wanted to make some changes, but I convinced her to let me wait until June to do any of these changes since my life is going to calm down (hopefully) at the end of May. I have another appointment in mid-June with my CDE. And an appointment in May with my endo.
I have usually seen an increase in weight when my insulin intake goes up. This has not been the case this time. I have actually lost weight. Not much, but enough that it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Maybe things will change after May. Maybe things will settle back down in my world and my insulin intake will go back to what it was before.
Let's hope.

Raise Your Voice!

This day, Kerri has dubbed Type 1 Awareness Day. Raise your voice, type 1's!
This is my perspective on Type 1 diabetes. I will have been a Type 1 diabetic for 23 years in just a few months. In many ways, it's all I've ever known. My memories, pre-diabetes, are few and far between.
I have shared stories on this blog in the past about my diagnosis. I have shared tales of good days with diabetes, and bad days with diabetes.
I have shared the frustrations of many other Type 1's, as we are too often grouped in with Type 2 diabetics, and told to "exercise" or "quit eating junk foods".
In this online world, I have found others who share my triumphs, my trials, and my daily life that is constantly wrapped up in diabetes.
My greatest desire is to have a more common understanding of diabetes, both Type 1 and Type 2, in the media and the general public. I want people to understand that I don't have "sugar", as many people like to call it here in the south. I have an auto-immune disease known as Type 1 diabetes that will stay with me for the rest of my life, unless there is a cure.
But there are a host of other wishes I have for my diabetes, and diabetes in general:
- I wish to be able to take a job without the need to interview my employer about insurance benefits.
- I wish to be able to tell someone I have diabetes and have the look at me like I am going to die.
- I wish to be able to keep the around $120 per month that I spend on out of pocket costs for my medicine. (This does not include my insurance premiums.)
-I wish to be able to go on a trip without taking an entire carry-on bag of nothing but meds.
-I wish to be able to know that if I chose to have children, they will not have to live with this disease like I have.
- I wish for my mother and father and countless other friends and family to not have to worry about me because I live alone.

-I wish to be able to tell people that I USED to have diabetes.

So, fellow Type 1's: RAISE YOUR VOICE!

One Year Later...

I write this post one day early because my tomorrow is going to be filled with friends and cakes and bridal showers for my best friend's upcoming wedding.
One year ago tomorrow I posted my first blog post. Inspired by Kerri over at Six Until Me, whom I stumbled across by surfing around on dLife, I ran across this world of people just like me. I knew there were other diabetics in the world. I had, after all, attended diabetes camp for 2 years when I was a child. I even knew a few Type 1's and a couple of Type 2's in my every day life.
But Kerri introduced me to this world of the Diabetes On-line Community. Her Blogroll is what led me to enter this world. I began reading about other diabetics and their lives. I ran across the blogs of parents who's children had diabetes which gave me a whole new perspective on what my parents lived through (and still do) when I was diagnosed with diabetes.
I met new people, though not in real life, like Amylia and Donna and Jillian. I discovered what a sussy was, learned about new pump sites, found the wonderful IIMC's (also known as pump packs), and discovered the generosity of virtual strangers like Bernard.
This community has meant so much to me in so many ways. I feel like I know most of you, even though we have never met. The common thread of diabetes connects us.
I know I don't blog as often as some others do, but I read faithfully. Even when I am not blogging, I am always getting support from your posts.
So thanks to all those in the d-blog world. You have become an important part of my life in the past 365 days, and I hope to continue to see you all here on-line as our lives and trials with diabetes continue.

A Long Week....Already

It is only Wednesday, but it has been a loonnnggg week already. Every day has seemed to drag by. Is it just me, or are others experiencing this also?

Yesterday, however, was a great fun day. The Women's NCAA basketball championship was last night in Tampa. My lovely Lady Vols played Stanford, and won their 8th National Championship. :) I can't complain. I had a great time watching the game and yelling at the tv.

Sadly, 5 of the players (all starters) were seniors and were all drafted into the WNBA today. So, essentially we will be starting all over again next year. But Pat Summit has a way of getting the best out of the best, so I have no doubt we will be on top again within a few years. Maybe even next year.

So congrats to Pat Summit and the Lady Vols on your 8th National Championship.

Change of subject: Today I was a very bad diabetic. I don't drink orange juice. For two reasons. It gives me severe heart burn (the kind that lasts for days) and it makes my blood sugar crazy. This morning I drank orange juice. It was delicious. Luckily, I had a friend who gave me some heart burn medicine that staved off the heart burn. But the crazy blood sugars... no go. I gave the proper amount of insulin. But 2 hours later: 324. But by lunch I was down to 94. Although I know that high blood sugar was NOT good for me, I was very happy to get to drink some o.j. It may be another 2 years before I have any more (it's been at least that long since the last time I had any). So I figure I don't have to worry too much about the crazy blood sugars.

Also, this afternoon I got a crick in my neck. I am currently sitting here with a heat wrap on my neck and have done a whole lot of nothing this evening, trying to get the pain to go away. This happens to be occasionally. Usually it's in times of great stress and it's usually when I don't realize how much stress I am under! Hopefully I will go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow feeling much better. Otherwise it will mean a trip to the doctor to get a muscle relaxer and a trip to the chiropractor for a neck and back adjustment.

Let's all hope it goes away tonight since I have my best friend's bridal shower cakes to make on Friday...

I hope everyone in the Diabetes OC is doing well. I promise, I am getting back to this whole blogging thing.

Blessings in Times of Stress

I have a million things going on in my life right now. This is (mostly) why I haven't been posting. I have had things to post, yes. But getting the time or energy to do it has been hard. When I have free time I have been vegging out or talking with friends. I have been out of town 3 times in the past month. I am preparing for my best friend's bridal shower and wedding (now only 1 month away) and have basically been going a little bit crazy.
During this time, CGMS has been a really good thing for me. I took it off for about a week at one point and just couldn't handle life without it. I admit it, I've become spoiled. I can do without it, I just don't want to. It's not perfect, but has really helped me out.
One night (when I did not have the CGMS on) I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. After thinking I should test, I found my blood sugar was 48. With CGMS, it wouldn't have gone below 65. And I wouldn't have felt like crap the next morning.
Emotionally, I have been going through quite a bit as of late. This is another reason I haven't really been blogging. I hate to get on here and complain all the time. Due to the things I have been stressing over, my blood sugar has been very crazy at time. This also makes me very glad I got the CGMS.
And even though I haven't been posting regularly, I have been reading pretty regularly. All of your blogs out there in the diabetes OC have really helped to keep me grounded and knowing that I have a place I can come to and find friends who deal with life every day, just like I do.
I am truly blessed, and I have been trying to remind myself of that daily. For all of you out there who have wanted to know when I would post again, here it is. And be prepared for more postings in this month of April. I am going to get back on the wagon and rejoin this world. ;)

Sugar-Free

This is going to be a short post. Short and sweet (pun intended). Am I a horrible person for refusing to eat items that are "sugar-free"? The only thing I consume on a regular basis, that is classified as "sugar-free" is my diet drinks.

Even as a child, I never enjoyed "diabetic foods". I thought they tasted funny. As I grew up, I continued to get lots of "sugar-free" this and that. It wasn't until I learned about carb counting that I realized "sugar-free" doesn't mean I can have it and not worry.

In many ways this was liberating for me. To me, it was a chance to no longer feel guilty when eating "real" sugar foods. And to not feel bad when saying, "I'd rather not eat 'diabetic' foods." I loved that. I still do.

I also wonder why they bother selling "sugar-free" foods at all. The only reason I can figure out is the fact that it sells! For so long the world was taught that diabetics were not to have any processed sugars. And it took hold. Now comes the complex task of un-doing this mindset.

Am I a "bad" diabetic for this? Should I mindlessly eat the "sugar-free" products that taste awful and cause horrible digestive issues? What is your opinion on "sugar-free"?

The inspiration for this post: the many childhood Easter baskets I received packed full of "sugar-free" candy.

(Apparently the make "sugar-free" peeps. I can't stand regular peeps. They make me nauseous. I wonder, though, what the "sugar-free" peeps taste like...)

I hope you have all had a wonderful, blessed Easter. Rejoice! He is Risen!

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

I love St. Patrick's Day. I don't know why, I just always have. It makes me smile. My friends make fun of me and tell me that it's because I'm really a leprechaun because I'm so short. I just laugh. Maybe it's true.

Due to being adopted, I don't know a lot about my family heritage. I know my mother's mother was of German decent and I believe my mother's father was of English, Irish, or Welsh decent, but I'm not sure. And I know nothing about my father's side.

So, I like to think that I really do have some Irish blood in me and that's why I like St. Patrick's Day so much. :)

I hope you have all had a wonderful day. I had a pretty decent day. I met with my Certified Diabetes Educator. It was nice. We didn't do anything major as far as changes go, but I talked with her about the ace inhibitors, my exercise and how to handle my blood sugars during this time, and about how my sensor has been working.

I really like my CDE, which is nice. We get along well and she's easy to talk to. Right now it was just more or less a way to get a second opinion and a second set of eyes on my blood sugars to see where we might fine tune. I'd really like to get my A1c lower and this may help.

Feeling Blue

For the past week or so I have been feeling a little bit blue. Since my doctor's appointment, I have really been feeling overwhelmed, unstimulated, and just kind of down in the dumps. I have been in the long process of getting myself out of this funk.

I've keep on thinking to myself, "I really need to blog. I need the support." But sadly, I haven't been able to make that move.

Last night I had a mini breakdown. I felt horrible, my blood sugar was low, I was stressed, and all I wanted to do was cry. Instead, I went to bed at around 8:30 (no worries about the blood sugar, I was doing well before I went to bed). I slept all night long and woke up this morning feeling much better.

Today I have been making an effort to be a little bit more positive in general. It's not perfect, buy I'm getting there. I am feeling motivated to clean my apartment (which is a big plus!), pay all my bills, and blog again. This, I think, is a step forward.

I don't get in these moods very often, but when I do, it is no fun and I annoy myself.

On bright point in my week was a surprise sussy from the wonderful Donna at Donnabetes. She knows how much I love my University of Tennessee! And so she sent me this wonderful IIMC:

I ordered one in the school's colors of orange and white, but when I did, I had been looking for the pink material and couldn't find it. Donna knew this and ran across some of the material.

This is such a wonderful part about the community that we have here. Selflessness and care from people we have never met. That is so important to my life and my diabetes care.

Thanks, Donna.

If any of you are looking for a way to carry your insulin pumps, you really should check out her site here. There is also a link on the right side of my page.

Misconceptions

I took this quiz today on FoxNews in their health section. This is a gross misconception on the last question that lumps all diabetics together. It disturbs me. Continually. The only positive thing I can say is that the answer does state it is Type 2 diabetics. But they answer I gave should have been correct also. Sigh

Dr. Manny's Health Quiz
Quiz Results
Your correct answers are in grey and your incorrect answers are in red.
1. People with diabetes frequently experience certain symptoms including feeling thirsty, frequent urination, weight loss and blurry vision.
Right! The correct answer is true: Not only are all these symptoms associated with diabetes, people may also experience irritability, tingling or numbness of the hands and feet and wounds that won't heal.
2. People get diabetes by consuming excessive amounts of sugar over a lifetime.
Right! The correct answer is false: Although diabetes can occur in anyone, some risk factors include family history, obesity, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and physical inactivity.
3. There is no effective treatment available for diabetes.
Right! The correct answer is false: Although there are certain differences in treatment between type 1 or type 2 diabetes, there are treatments which include having a meal plan, exercise, insulin injections and oral agents which all could help manage the high levels of sugar in the body.
4. Poorly managed diabetes can lead to heart attacks, strokes, blindness, kidney failure and blood vessel damage.
Right! The correct answer is true: By not keeping your sugars in as normal range as possible, cell destruction will begin to occur and ultimately, your overall health will begin to deteriorate.
5. Diabetes can be prevented.
Wrong! The correct answer is true: Type 2 diabetes or adult onset diabetes can be prevented by changing your lifestyle. Even small things like modest weight loss (10% of your body weight) and modest physical activity (30 minutes of exercise per day) can prevent you from developing diabetes.

An Endo Appointment and Retail Therapy

I am a firm believer in retail therapy. Most women would agree with me on this on. Today was a need for retail therapy for me.

I had my 3 month appointment with my endo. I had some of my data printed off MiniMed's Care Link, and was ready to go. I had my blood drawn for my A1c last week. I was interested to know what my A1c was since my last appointment they did my test in office and I felt it was wrong.

When they gave me my results back, it was just as I guessed: 6.7. Much higher than the in office test then did last time, and more reflective of the home testing results that I get.

I wasn't terrible disappointed, but am still actively working to get my A1c below 6. That is my ultimate goal.

My doctor also told me that when they checked my blood pressure it was 137 over 75. That is outrageous for me! My top number is typically between 96 and 110. I nearly stroked out when he told me this. I just had my blood pressure checked two weeks ago and it was 98 over 70. So I am wondering if it was just a fluke. I told my doctor this and he said he wouldn't start me on any type of blood pressure medicine.

Then he started talking about long term care and starting me on ace inhibitors. This stressed me out greatly. I have no need for ace inhibitors at this time. I am not spilling protein in my urine and I have no other problems that are diabetes related except high cholesterol (under control with meds) and the start of cataracts on both my eyes.

He told me that ace inhibitors were something that we should probably start in the next few years anyway just because it is supposed to protect your blood vessels. I don't know. I am confused and stressed.

My understanding has always been that ace inhibitors were for people who were showing signs of kidney failure. I have none. Does anyone have any opinions on this? Are any of you on ace inhibitors to prevent damage?

He was also telling me that if you are pregnant, ace inhibitors can damage the fetus within the first month. Although I am not planning pregnancy any time in the near future, how many people actually know the are pregnant in the first month??? Yet another reason to freak me completely out.

My endo did want to see me again in 2 months. I am guessing it is because he wants to see more data trends with my CGMS.

After this appointment I was so stressed about the blood pressure and the ace inhibitors, that I needed retail therapy. I promptly went to the boutique that sells the make-up I love, and promptly spent $93. This is the biggest failing I have had in my finances in a long, long time. But, I just got my tax return back, so it wasn't the end of the world.

And I figure it this way, if I am going to have to go on ace inhibitors and blood pressure meds, I might as well look beautiful while I do it. :)

On the positive side, I joined the gym. I have gone 4 of the past 6 days and am hoping that I can keep myself on track. I want to loose some weight and I know exercise is essential to a diabetics health. I have just never done it cause I HATE to exercise. I joined for 1 month and if I can make myself keep going this month, I will join the year next month.

Snow Dayz

I have been waiting all winter long for a good snow. We have a few light dustings. Nothing to even cover the ground really. I am a sucker for snow. I hate dark and dreary winter, but I love it when it snows. Go figure.

Unfortunately for me, it doesn't snow a lot here in Tennessee. In fact, the whole world nearly shuts down if we get a couple of inches.

Yesterday, around noon, it started to spit icy stuff. By the time I left work at 4:30 it had turned into snow and was starting to stick to the ground! Yeah snow!

This morning I woke up to this:

These pictures were not taken by me, since my camera is currently not in my possession. But a friend of mine took these pictures this morning and e-mailed them to me. She was gracious enough to allow me to share them with all of you.

I know we haven't gotten near as much snow as some of my fellow bloggers (Amylia!) who have been practically snowed in. But I got the snow I'd been waiting on all winter.

Now that I've had this snow, bring on the spring!

Vacation? Or not?

I went out of town this past weekend with some friends of mine. One of my best friends is getting married and moving about 4 hours away from where she & I currently live. Her future sister-in-law threw her a bridal tea this weekend, so we gathered up and went down to stay the weekend.
I thought it was going to be a fun getaway. It was. It just also turns out that I didn't get a whole lot of sleep and I am thoroughly paying for it now. The lack of sleep has made me a very unhappy person. But, I survived the day and I intend on going to bed pretty early tonight.
On trips like that, I feel like I haven't really been on vacation. Even though, in a way, I have been.
I would post lots of fabulous pictures of my weekend, but I left my camera in my friend's truck and she ended up taking it home with her. Two hours from my house. Sigh. But I am going to go visit her in a couple of weeks. She is holding it hostage till I come to get it.
So, now it's back to the work week. Back to the schedule. And back to getting to bed at a decent hour. :)

Any Time Now...

I haven't been around near enough since I got my CGMS. For that, I apologize to those of you who read my blog. I have just been busy, stressed, and tired in general. Over the weekend I took a break from the world, watched the Daytona 500 (GO #88!!), and had the day off on Monday, courtesy of Presidents' Day.
On Monday I did spend quite a bit of time cleaning out my spare bedroom. It is really just a junk room. It is piled up with boxes of random stuff, Christmas decorations, a bunch of the stuff left over from my year of teaching, and tons of craft stuff. It's so bad that I can't even get to stuff. So I did a major clean out. I hauled boxes of stuff to Goodwill and boxes of teaching stuff to a local daycare.
It's far from being done, but it's a good start. And it makes me feel like I did something productive. I think that if I start cleaning some of the clutter out of my life, I will be less stressed in other areas of my life.
CGMS has gone okay. Day one through day 4 were pretty good on the sensor. The readings were fairly accurate about 90% of the time. On night 2 it woke me up to let me know I was low. And it was right.
I changed sensors on day 5 because the readings were all over the board and not right. It was like the sensor just gave out. I actually think I calibrated at a bad (very bad) time, so it threw everything off for the rest of the life of the sensor.
I started yesterday morning with another sensor. This one I put in my thigh. It did bleed some, but there was no pain, so I am not complaining. Yesterday and today it has been fairly close, but not as close as I would like. It is reading higher than my blood sugar actually is.
As for the title of this post, any time now I would like to get a full nights sleep. Last night the sensor woke me up again with another low. It was right (for which I am very thankful), but it continues to go off every 20 minutes until your blood sugar is reading back in range. So every time I got asleep again last night, it would go off again. It took about an hour to get back up in range.
If this keeps up much more, I may have to adjust my nighttime basal.

CGMS, Dentists, Sickness, and Valentine's Day

I am now, officially, hooked up to the CGMS. I went on Tuesday afternoon to meet with my CDE and the trainer from MiniMed. It was nearly a 2 hour training and there was another person also being trained at the same time. I enjoyed the time. The rep/nurse from MiniMed is also a diabetic and is on the CGMS, so she could talk from her personal experiences. This was very nice. As you can tell, I don't have the nice, flat stomach like in the MiniMed picture on their website...sigh. To be a model.
So far, my trends have been crazy. But, that may have to do with the raging head cold that I woke up with this morning. I'm hoping to take the print-offs to my endo in March to see if there is any more tweaking that needs to be done. I have also set up another appointment with my CDE to have them help me look at trends also.
Personally, I like having second opinions on stuff. I can make changes on my own. I do it often. But sometimes it is just nice to have others look at what you are doing to see if they find anything you might have skipped over. It's like having someone proof-read your papers before you turn them in.
I had a dentist appointment on Wednesday afternoon. It was to get the last of my fillings done. My mouth is still slightly sore, but its good to know I don't have to worry about the cavities anymore.
I was supposed to go to church and a Bible study class last night, but due to snow in our area, church was cancelled. Instead, I just stayed in, ate some dinner and watched American Idol.
This morning, as I mentioned earlier, I woke up with a raging head cold. I could barely talk. And when I did, I sounded like a frog. Luckily, it got better as the day went on, but I can feel it settling back in as night falls. I HATE not being able to breath.
Today was also Valentine's Day. As a single gal, I would like to say that I don't hate Valentine's Day, but in all reality, I can't stand it. It's just depressing at times. This year wasn't too bad on my emotions, so I am very thankful for that. But sometimes I wish that the holiday would just be wiped off the map.
Why can't a guy (0r girl) just buy their significant other flowers just because? Why should they feel forced to buy the heart shaped boxes of candy, and stuffed animals, and ridiculously expensive flowers? You don't have to do it all the time. Just once in a while. Then we wouldn't have to have Valentine's Day.
Oh well. Some of you in the OC have had a great day. Kerri at Six Until Me and Allison at Lemonade Life, are two that I have already found with positive posts. I have to say that I'm very glad for them. Making the best of the day is the important part. Whether you be single, like Allison, or attached, like Kerri.
I hope you all have had a wonderful day filled with love and friends and lots of fun.

A Good Day and a Nice Surprise

I went to get a new cell phone today. Since I was in college, my dad and I have been on the same plan. He paid the bill until I got out of college and I have split it with him since. It's cheaper that way. Our 2 years was up and we were due new phones.
Personally, we were both ready for new ones. The batteries in our old phones were shot. Because I live in the middle of no where, there is only a Verizon dealer. In other words, they only sign you up. They can't take money, give you your credit (you get $100 towards a new phone after 2 years), or do anything else. So we have to drive around 45 minutes to get to a store where we can get our new phones.
This was a good thing. My dad and I don't spend nearly enough time together. Today, we spent most of the day together. I got a new phone. It's orange! Those of you who know me, know I love orange. I also promptly dropped it on the basement floor when I got home and scratched it, but I figure it was bound to happen sooner or later anyway.
We also got to go have lunch together. We went to Cracker Barrel. I love their breakfast. Actually, all their food is great, but breakfast is my favorite. I very much over carb-ed it. But it was fun. And worth it. Two hours after eating, my blood sugar was 123. Not bad. The bad part came 4 hours later when it was 205. Sigh. Oh well, at least I know not to do that very often.
After we got back home, my grandmother, my brother, his fiancee, my dad & I had dinner at my grandmother's house. It was nice. We sat around and chatted for a while.
When I got home I went to check my mail. There was a package in my box. Just a little package, but the return address said Sussy Circle. Huh? I already got my sussy. Inside I found a great note from Amylia and Beth and some little sussy from them.
This wonderful sticker from Amylia and her days in Taiwan, along with 2 pins from Beth. And a mirror.
They are all beautiful. The mirror says "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson" Emily has always been one of my favorite poets, so this was a wonderful surprise. And it reminds me that there is always hope for a cure...if we let there be hope.
Thanks Beth and Amylia for all you did for us with the Sussy Circle. It was a wonderful and creative way to bring the Diabetes OC together and let us know each other just a little bit better.

CGMS News

My appointment with the trainer from MiniMed is February 12th at 1:30. I am so excited. By this time next week, I will be hooked up on CGMS.

Storms in Tennessee

Some of you have already been asking if I am okay. Just wanted to let you know that my town escaped the worst of the storms. We just got some wind and bad thunderstorms. However, there are several other communities that I have friends in that got hit pretty hard. So far, I don't know any of the people who have died.
I have also sent out a message on my TuDiabetes.com group, TNDiabetics, asking that people let us know they are okay and let us know if they need anything.
Thank you so much for your concern. I will try to post more today if I can. I just wanted to let you all know that I am fine.
Keep all these areas that were hit, here and in other states, in your prayers! We are going to need them.
Cara

Overnight Mail

Yesterday, as I was on my way into my class (I am currently working on my Masters degree) my phone rang. It was MiniMed, wanting to know where they could ship my new CGMS to be signed for today! I gave them my work address and they told me that it should arrive around 10:30 this morning.

I am a very impatient person. 10:00 rolled around: nothing. 10:30: nothing. 11:00: nothing. I got to lunch at 12:00. Still, nothing.

"Surely, I'll have something when I get back from lunch," I thought to myself. The blogger in me even brought my camera back from home to take a picture when the packages arrived. When I got back at 1:00....there was still NOTHING! Ahhhhh! I'm worse than a little kid on Christmas. It's killing me by this time. I even contemplated calling MiniMed and asking them what the tracking number was for FedEx.

While I sat, contemplating this phone call, my phone rang. "Cara," one of our secretaries said, "You have some packages up here."

Yeah!!!!! It's about time! I ran up front and there were two boxes there. One said "Refrigerate Upon Arrival".

I hurried them back to my desk and took a picture quickly.

Then I tore into the boxes. I examined the items quickly. Got out the owner's manual and gave it a quick glance. And then I called my doctor's office. I knew they would either refer me to the local diabetes educator, or tell me to call her and make an appointment. I talked with one of my favorite ladies at the office and she told me to just call the diabetes center and talk to my diabetes educator (the same one who helped me with my pump).

I called the center and she was not in. But I left a message with the receptionist and my phone number and told her what I was needing. She told me my CDE would get back with me today or tomorrow.

So far today, still no call. But that's okay.

When I got home I had to take out the boxes again, but the sensors in the refrigerator, and look at the manual more closely. I am still working on it, but I was so excited I had to share with you all!

Very soon I should be hooked up to the CGMS!

Also a note: My Sussy pal isn't Caro. Anyone else know who it could be from the UK? I am stumped! I am going crazy! I hope you guys can help me figure out who it is. Perhaps a person on flicker Diabetes 365 group? I don't know.

Trip-The End....And SUSSY!!!

On the last day of our trip we really didn't do anything exciting. Basically got up and ate breakfast and then started our looonnnggg drive back. The blood sugar behaved itself most of the day. And I didn't have any major problems during the trip back. Although on the last leg of my trip (from M's house to my own) I thought my contacts were going to dry to my eyeballs!

The joys of learning to wear contacts. Ahh. I ended up going back to the eye doctor and they gave me a different kind. The are working much better!

On Saturday I got my Sussy package! I was thrilled! All the items were wrapped so beautifully. Sadly, I was so very impatient to open the packages that I didn't stop to take a picture. For that, I apologize.

It was such a wonderful package. I listed on my Sussy info that orange was my favorite color. Almost everything in my package was orange! I was great.
The only bad part is there was no name! Or return address. It was mailed from London. I love getting mail from outside the U.S. But I want to be able to properly thank the person who got it for me. So, please, if you are reading this, let me know it was you!!

Trip-Part 2

On Sunday morning we got up and got ready to take a road trip to Philly. M and I had never been to Philly and we both wanted to see the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. I made A breakfast. Biscuits and gravy. Apparently they don't have biscuits and gravy up there. And so every time I go visit I have to make it for her. It's not the best on the blood sugar, but it's fun to have every once in a while, so I didn't mind.

We took our little road trip to Philly. It was great fun and once again, the company was everything. I'm quit sure M and I could have stayed in Philly and explored all day long, but there just wasn't time. We got there right around lunch time and made a visit to have Philly Cheese steaks! We went to Jim's Steaks. Everyone seems to think they are the best in town. I am inclined to agree. It was wonderful. And very, very crowded! I recommend it if you are in town.

After that we headed to see the Liberty Bell. I have to say I was blown away. It is just awe inspiring to be in the presence of one of the symbols of American patriotism. We also did a tour of Independence Hall, where the Declaration of Independence was signed. That was also very humbling. Our nation's founding fathers literally committed treason in order to stand up for what they knew was right. I wish I could be that brave!

Now here's for the funny diabetic moment: They search all your bags when you go in to see the Liberty Bell and again when you enter Independence Hall. I have no problems with this. I understand all the security issues since 9/11. When they started to search my back pack (holding my purse, all my diabetic supplies, snacks, juice boxes, and a camera bag), the guy who was going through my stuff opened my meter bag. He looked at it and then looked at me and said, "Are you a diabetic?" I was very polite, "Yes, sir," I said, "I also have on an insulin pump." He looked at me and then was trying to zip my meter case back up and couldn't do it. I tried to help and he wouldn't let me.

All this time, the only thought I had, was that I really wanted to look at him and say, "Nah, I'm not a diabetic. I just thought it's be fun to play one for the day." And I didn't even want to say it in a mean way. It was just funny to me. Why would anyone be carrying around a meter if they weren't diabetic or with a diabetic? Unfortunately, I couldn't say this as the gentleman didn't look like he had a sense of humor.

I also discovered a new love on the way back from Philly....Starbucks. The closest Starbucks to my house is an hour away. And I HATE coffee. So I've never felt inclined to stop. But we stopped and I found a drink that doesn't taste like coffee and has only 18 grams of carbs in the grade (also known as medium). The Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte. It was yummy! I am now addicted. I've been craving them ever since.

Trip-Part 1

I am going to take a few days to tell you all about my trip. I went with a friend of mine (M) to visit another friend (A) in the D.C. area. A recently told us she was pregnant and we wanted to go visit her since she is going this whole experience alone. Not to mention that we just flat out missed her. I hadn't seen A since October and M hadn't seen her since May. So it was time for a visit.

We drove up. It took us around 8 1/2 hours from M's house (it's 2 hours from my house to M's on top of that). I usually don't like to drive, but with 2 of us going, it was cheaper than trying to fly up. Friday was pretty much shot as far as spending time with A went, since we didn't get in until around 12:30. It wasn't a horrible drive, just long. But any drive can be more bearable if you have good company.

There were no real blood sugar issues on the trip up. Things stayed pretty normal. I let the levels run in the mid to high 100's just because I didn't want any sneak attacks from the big D.
Saturday was actually when all of the fun started...

A, M, and I drove to Annapolis, Maryland to meet some friends of A. They were involved in a charity drive for Special Olympics of Maryland. It was called the Polar Plunge. Basically, what it boils down to, it people pay money to jump in the Annapolis Bay in January.

Go ahead, say it: THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO BE CRAZY!!!!!

I did. :) Only 1 of the friends actually plunged, but there were hundreds of people plunging. It was very cold and I wasn't even getting wet! But, all the money went to charity, so who am I to complain.

Although, just between you, me and the fence post, I would just pay the money and not actually jump in the water.

It was definitely an interesting day. They had all kinds of other stuff going on inside tents. The had games, and even pig races. Yup, you read correctly: pig races. I am from Tennessee, people. I grew up all around farms, although not on one. I have never seen pig races in my life. It was hilarious. It was just these little pigs running around in circles. And some guy dressed up like Old McDonald. I guess it was a novelty for the northerners...but it was a novelty to me, too!

I also did a bad D thing. I had a wonderful, sugary batch of heaven. Also known as a funnel cake. And surprisingly enough, my blood sugar didn't actually suffer too much.
Just 2 hours later it was around 150. I can't complain there.

We headed back to A's apartment after that and just hung out. We grabbed a bite to eat a California Pizza Kitchen (which I LOVE!) and watched Heath Ledger movies all night (R.I.P. Heath).

I'll finish up my weekend in the next few days. Keep on reading!

Going Away. And Just One Word.

Okay all, I am headed out of town today and won't be back until Monday night, so don't expect any posts for a few days. I will have lots of pictures when I get back I'm sure. As well as lots to blog about. I am taking a road trip with a friend to go visit another friend.

I am leaving you all with the post that's been going around the Diabetes OC lately.
Use just one word to describe me....

Have a great weekend everyone!

Questions answered....and a meme!

There were a few of you who asked questions about what I did to get approved for the CGMS. Sadly, I don't have a lot of information to give you all. I talked to my doctor about it at my last visit in early December. He said he would write the request letter. About 2 weeks after that one of the MiniMed reps contacted me (Hi, Danny!) and asked me several questions and asked me to fax him some of my blood sugar and pump data. I did all this and he put the packet together and sent it to my doctor. Then my doctor sent it in.
I do have some hypo unawareness, but I haven't even been to the hospital since 2004, so I know that wasn't a deciding factor. When I spoke with the rep again the other day to confirm the next steps, he told me they had put together a packet that was basically "trial and error" until they found something that worked. He also told me he had half a dozen or more approvals in the past several weeks with my insurance company. So evidently, they found something that works.
I didn't have to fight or appeal. They approved it the first time through. I have my next endo appointment in March, so I may ask them to see the info they sent in. I'd like to know also.
Side note: my insurance is Blue Cross Blue Shield of TN. I have heard from others on some sites (like tudiabetes.com) that BCBS is really good about this stuff (not just the TN version).

Now onto the meme. I did this one, I think, not long ago. But I can always think of things that are weird about myself, so it's no problem to do it again. I am not going to tag anyone, just consider yourself tagged if you want to do it! :)

1. I hate talking on the phone to people I don't know or don't know well. I was nearly out of college before I ever called the doctor's office myself to schedual an appointment. I also hate calling in pizza orders. The very strange part is that my job requires me to do this on a pretty regular basis. My dislike isn't improving, I am just getting used to doing it.

2. I have had glasses since I was 15. Today was the first time I ever wore contacts. I'm 26. And darn it if my right eye didn't give me the most trouble. It took forever to get it in and forever to get it out. :(

3. The first time I ever saw a beach was 2005. I was 24 years old.

4. I still like cartoons. I'm an adult. And I like cartoons. Some of the new ones are weird and annoying, but I love Disney movies, older cartoons, and the Pixar films. My favorite movie from last year was Cars.

5. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I got my degree in one thing, did that for a year, and now I am in a totally different field. And thinking about what I could do next... I can be very indecisive at times.

6. I hate to wash dishes. It's my least favorite thing to do when cleaning. I tend to put it off to the very last minute. I told a friend of mine one time that if I could find a guy who would wash dishes on a regular basis, I'd marry him. :D

7. If you have ever seen the movie Beaches with Bette Midler, I have a friend like her. We met when I was 16 and she was 15 at church camp one summer. We didn't spend much time together, but exchanged addresses. 10 years later we still write, e-mail, etc. And we couldn't be more different. We are like night and day and we still are friends. We just don't want the sad ending from Beaches!

APPROVAL!!!!

I just got my letter from the insurance company about my request for the CGMS! They approved it! First time through. I am so excited I can hardly breath! I have already talked to the rep from MiniMed and they are going to get the process started. Basically, this means I should be hooked up by no later than the end of February, if I am figuring correctly.

This is so exciting!

"Do you ever feel like you're not accomplishing anything?"

I watched a movie last night. It was one I have seen about a million times. St. Elmo's Fire. It was an 80's movie about these seven friends and their life the year or so after they graduate college. I am a huge 80's movie fan. I have several. I don't know why I like them so much, but I do.
There's a scene in the movie where Wendy (Mere Winningham) is working as a social worker. She's trying to get this woman with about 5 kids to go into some sort of training program so she can get off welfare. The woman demands that Wendy just hand over her check. After the woman leaves, Wendy's love interest Billy (Rob Lowe) walks into the office and starts talking to her. Wendy looks at him and says, "Do you ever feel like you're not accomplishing anything?"
That is kind of how I feel right now. In general. Not necessarily with my diabetes. Just about life in general.
Some days I just feel like I'm a little hampster on a wheel running in circles, but not every really getting anywhere. Do any of you feel like that?
I think it might be SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Really I do. It's just right around this time of year, every year, I start feeling like this. A little bit depressed. Not really unhappy, just not content. It usually passes in a month or so. But sitting right in the middle of it is no fun.
So, do any of you every feel like you aren't getting anything done? Like you aren't doing enough? Or that you just aren't doing what you should be doing in the world in general?
I didn't mean to depress anyone, I am just curious to see if I am the only one feeling like this lately.
Here's the clip from St. Elmo's Fire. I just have to note that there are some wonderful actors and actresses in this movie. Demi Moore, Emilio Estevez, and Andie MacDowell are also in this movie. Demi, by the way, is almost unrecognizable compared to what she looks like today!

Eyes and Teeth

Today I had a dental appointment and an appointment for my yearly dilated eye exam. To be honest about it all, I have not been to the dentist in quite some years. I have good teeth and haven't had a cavity in my life. Due to this, and lack of money (dental care's not cheap!) I hadn't been going to the dentist. Well, I went today. It wasn't good news. Basically, people, don't stop going to the dentist! I have five, count 'em: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, cavities! I am so disturbed. I didn't even know they were there. They caused no pain at all and until he told me they were there I was clueless. Sadly, I have 2 dental appointments in the next 2 weeks to get my teeth fixed. And I have learned my lesson: don't quit going to the dentist!!!

As for the eye exam, it went pretty well. There was no change to my vision (i.e. no need for new glasses) and no bleeding in my eye! I have to say, twenty two and a half years into diabetes, I count my blessings that there is no diabetic bleeding in my eyes. However, I do have the start of cataracts on both my eyes. I knew this last year, and the doctor said they had worsened some. But fortunately, they do not interfere with my vision in any way and the doctor said there is no need to do anything about it right now.

I also had to post my eye picture after viewing Scott and Landileigh's blogs of their January eye exam pictures. I figured I might as well join the group! :)

Melancholy

I haven't felt the greatest in the world today. I woke up this morning at 59. I hung out the rest of the morning right around 70 to 75. Not low, but just low enough to scare me that I was going to drop quickly. With my hypo unawareness, it was nerve wracking.

After lunch the blood sugar rebounded and hung out in the upper 100's.

With the highs and lows, I have felt a little bit "off" all day today. And a little bit anti-diabetes. Mostly I just wanted to take a break. But as we all know, there never is a break. Diabetes is always there, Every Day, Every Hour, Every Minute.

CGMS Update

I called my insurance company today to see if they had gotten the paperwork requesting they approve CGMS for me. They received it January 9th and the lady told me it was due to be reviewed by their doctor and should be done in 14 business days.
Let's just pray they approve and that I don't have to fight it!

A Moment of Weakness

An afternoon snack. A moment of weakness.

Price: $3.00 and.....

Numbers

In school I had 3 subjects that I hated with every little bit of passion in me. The first was Physical Education. I hated it. I used to fake sick at least twice a week just to keep from having to run or play volleyball or do whatever else was on the agenda for the day. I am not an athletic person. I am not even a very active person. I don't know why, but it is something that I am having to work daily to correct. It's a goal I struggle with all the time.

Another subject I hated was science. I just wasn't good at it, therefore, I didn't like it.

The last subject that I really hated was math. This was also something I was never really good at. Numbers and I just don't get along.

Yet in some weird way, numbers control my life.

-Blood sugar numbers

-Grams of carbs

-Insulin to carb ratios

-Basal rates

-Prescription numbers

-A1c

-Cholesterol

-Grams of fat

-Grams of fiber

Even my picture for today's post represents a number. The juice box that sits next to my bed in case of a nighttime low: 13 grams of carbs.

Numbers rule my world, yet they are something that I hate to think about. Something I hate to do. Ironic, isn't it?

New Year's

I know it's a little late, but I was out of town. This might be a terribly long blog, but I have lots to say.
First off, I have to thank Amylia for the wonderful postcard she sent me before leaving Taiwan. It's beautiful. And a really cool souvenir. Also, lots of healthy thoughts I am sending her way since she and Figgy are not feeling well right now.

Secondly, I hope everyone had a safe and fun New Year. I had a really good night New Year's Eve and managed to be in bed by 1:30. Pretty good by my standards. I'm getting way too old to pull the all nighters. I was ready to crash by 10:00.

Thirdly, I have made some non-resolutions. I really don't like to call them resolutions because I will end up breaking them. Here are my non-resolutions:

1. Start exercising. I hate to exercise, but I know I need to.

2. Start taking fiddle lessons and/or violin lessons. I need to use my Christmas present!

3. Travel somewhere new. I am not sure where or when or even how. But I want to go somewhere that I haven't been before.

These may seem pretty easy to do. They are basic. That's how I need 'em. Otherwise, they will never get done!

Lastly, I want to share one of my bad diabetes moments from this weekend. I don't know about everyone else, but when I am out of town or out of my normal routine, my blood sugars can be completely crazy. Having an insulin pump helps a lot, but sometimes, not enough. I spent the long weekend with a friend and her family. They have really treated me like one of their own and have done a lot to make me feel like a part of their family. I love to spend time with them.

Saturday we spent most of the day working on the farm. They have a working farm with horses and cattle. That day, they were putting shavings in barn stalls. I always work when I'm with them. I like it. It's different. Some of it is stuff I've never done before. Some of it is.

It's also more physical exercise than I am used to. All day on Saturday I was chasing high blood sugars with insulin. I had nothing under 180 all day long. I even started stacking insulin, which I try desperately not to do since I know it can lead to lows, which I typically don't catch.

We ate dinner late that night; around 8:00. It was fast food and a type of fast food that I don't typically eat. I knew that I needed to be careful about how I gave my insulin since my blood sugar was already around 100 (my first normal reading all day long!). I bolused with a pretty good guess (so I thought), ate, and went with my friend and her brother to get on the Internet. I wanted to check my e-mail (I was having major e-mail withdrawls!) and they were looking up songs.

It couldn't have been more than 30 to 45 minutes after eating dinner when I started to feel sick. Not a sick that would say "Hey! You are having a low!" It was more like an "I'm really tired and dinner made me sick to my stomach." type of feeling. I even started feeling a little claustrophobic. I asked my friend's brother, who was sitting in front of the door, to move so I could get out. I vaguely remember walking to the kitchen and laying my head on the table.

I must have fallen asleep for a minute because I jerked back awake when I heard someone come in the kitchen. Then I just picked up my meter, opened the case & checked. I don't remember looking at the number, but the next thing I know my friend's mother asks me how the result was. She had to ask me twice for me to answer her.

I remember saying "I'm low. I need juice." In my mind, I knew I had a juice box upstairs in my purse, but my body wouldn't move. She must have told me there was juice in the fridge because the next thing I know I was in front of the fridge with the door open just staring. I couldn't focus. I couldn't find the juice. She came over, handed to me and I sat back down at the table.

I tried to open the bottle of juice, but couldn't. I don't remember him coming in, but my friend's brother was sitting at the table and I pushed the juice at him and said, "Open." He did. I downed the whole bottle in one gulp and then just started crying. I just cried and cried.

By this time, pretty much everyone in the house was in the kitchen with me. My friend's sister and boyfriend were also there. They told me later I cried and said it was because I thought my friend's sister was going to make fun of me.

I also started eating cookies. I know better than to do this, but when your blood sugar after juice is 66, you just start to eat automatically.

I remember bits and pieces of the whole thing. The rest they filled me in on. I haven't had a low that bad in several years. One where I had no control or ability to care for myself. It scared me. I hate crying, but when I have a low that bad, that's all I can do.

I hate that feeling of helplessness. That feeling of knowing what I need to be doing and having the inability to do it for myself.

I felt guilty. I hate depending on others to care for me. I know they didn't really care. My friend's father has Type 2 diabetes. They deal with this also. But I still hate doing that to someone. I think that's part of the reason I cry.

The rest of my weekend was good. I had a good time. Got to spend some quality time with my friend, whom I don't see nearly enough.

But to ruin a perfect weekend, the big D had to rear it's ugly head.

There is not cure for diabetes. Yet. (Thanks for that line Amylia)

Type 1/Type 2: A Moment That Made Me Proud

As many of you know, I have often been upset by the public's lack of knowledge concerning diabetes and the differences between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes. I have often been disturbed by lack of knowledge among diabetics themselves, such as Ms. Berry. In fact, I get upset and frustrated by it so often, that I could probably write a blog post for every day of the year, just focusing on the above mentioned things.
But I have to say I had an experience on Christmas day that made me quite proud and made me think that maybe, just maybe, people are listening. When I went with my church to Nashville for our bridge ministry I rode in a church van with several people I didn't know. My church is a large church and although I recognized everyone on the van, I didn't know any of them by name.
On the way back on Christmas night we stopped to get a quick bite to eat. My blood sugar was low. I knew it. I usually can't feel my lows, but that was one of the rare exceptions. I tested and confirmed a 64. At the convenience store I grabbed a blueberry muffin (I know, not the best of dinner choices, right?) and ate it. I knew, however, that it wasn't going to bring my blood sugar up fast enough. I asked them to let me back in the van so I could grab a juice box, explaining that I was diabetic.
When we got back on the road, one of the women started asking me some questions. The first of which was, "How long have you had diabetes?" This is a standard question. "Since I was 4 years old," I replied. And then, another lady says, "Oh, you are Type 1 then?" and she turns to another lady in the van and says, "That means she can't ever get rid of diabetes. It's not a diet issue."
I couldn't believe it. How could this woman know the difference? It's so rare to find a person who does. I asked her a few quick questions and found out that she worked at a school in which there was a diabetic child and she had learned quite a bit in dealing with him.
I was blown away. And proud. And slightly hopeful. That woman may not have known everything about diabetes, but she could, at least basically, tell the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes.
I also have to note on here Diabetes Mine's blog post for the day. It was regarding diabetes etiquette. How wonderful to know that someone is thinking about diabetes etiquette and how to spread the news to all the non-diabetics in the world!
In regards to my recent Christmas gift, I leave you all with a clip of the great fiddle player, Mr. Charlie Daniels, and his timeless classic The Devil Went Down To Georgia. I'm not delusional enough to think I'll ever play like that, but seeing him play could be inspiration to almost anyone.
On a separate note, I will not be posting again until after the New Year. I am going out of town tomorrow and won't be able to post. I leave you all this year of 2007, praying that you all have a blessed and HEALTHY 2008.

Christmas Under the Bridge

Yesterday was Christmas. And it was a very special Christmas for me. Christmas Eve, I spent with my dad and his side of the family. We had a wonderful time. Christmas morning I went to my mom's. I was truly blessed there also. I got a fiddle for Christmas (or a violin; I guess it depends on how you want to play it!). I don't play. I don't ready music. But I have said for years that I would some day learn to play the fiddle. I love to hear that instrument. It makes me smile!

Now I have the fiddle. Time to learn to play! :) I am currently trying to locate someone in my town that will teach me all I need to know about playing a fiddle. Wish me luck on that one.

The second part of my day was spent with my church, traveling 2 1/2 hours to Nashville to minister with the Under the Bridge Ministries to the homeless community. Our church raised close to $12,000 to buy 300 sub-zero sleeping bags. The ministry has a service and feeds the homeless under Jefferson Street Bridge every Tuesday night.

It was a very humbling and an experience that I will never forget. To know that I was there for several hours and how cold I was made me think how very lucky I was to have a bed to sleep in, an apartment to live in, and food to eat. I had never done anything like that before and I felt blessed to be a very small part of it all. I truly hope to go back to the bridge in the future.

I hope that you all had as wonderful a Christmas as I did.

Merry Christmas!

My Christmas has already started! I had Christmas Eve dinner and exchanging of presents with my dad and his side of the family earlier this evening. Tomorrow morning I head to my mom's and tomorrow afternoon I am going with my church to Nashville to deliver Christmas dinner to the homeless population that lives under Jefferson Street Bridge. Along with dinner, we will be ministering and handing out sub-zero sleeping bags.
A full and happy Christmas is what I am receiving already this year. I have been truly blessed and feel fortunate in so many ways.
I hope you all know how much I appreciate you! It means so much to have this community!
I pray you will all have a wonderful day tomorrow and that you all have a blessed time with family and friends.
Here's a little bit of holiday cheer for you. God bless!
(Just to note: this isn't my church, but my church youth group did this program for Christmas. It was AWESOME!)

Pharmacy Hopping!

Okay. As most of you who check out my blog on a pretty regular basis know, I have been having trouble with my insurance company & my prescriptions. I went to get a couple of other prescriptions filled today. One for my insulin and for my cholesterol medicine and I was running out of some vitamins that I also needed to pick up.
About 2 months ago I switched pharmacies because the one I was at took FOREVER to fill anything and you had to wait FOREVER to pick it up, even if they had it filled and all they had to do was hand it to you. I got sick of dealing with that and decided to switch pharmacies.
Every since I have switched pharmacies, things have been going nuts! My insurance won't pay for 3 months on the "new" strips. And today I was told that my insurance company had pulled the 3 month prescription contract with all the pharmacies and would only do 3 month supplies by mail.
I HATE mail order meds. Mostly cause I can't remember to order them on time. Call me spacey, but it's true. Not to mention I like to see who I am dealing with when it comes to my medicines. Someone who knows me cause they see me so often. And someone with whom I can talk if there is a problem with my prescriptions or I have a question.
I was highly upset and wanted to talk with my insurance company to find out what was going on. When I called them, the guy I spoke with was very nice, but didn't seem to know what I was talking about at first. I explained it to him in the exact way that it was explained to me at the pharmacy: Company X, which contracts all the prescriptions for Insurance X, was bought out by Pharmacy X (which is NOT my pharmacy!). Due to this, the only pharmacy in which you can get a 3 month prescription with Insurance X is through Pharmacy X (which isn't located withing an hour of my home).
The insurance guy started looking through whatever computer program or manual or whatever he had in front of him and then asked me what county I lived in. He then told me that Pharmacy A (my pharmacy) didn't contract with Company X and that's why I could no longer get prescriptions for 3 months from Pharmacy A. Then he told me that there were 2 pharmacies in my county in which I could get a 3 month prescription.
The first one he listed was Pharmacy B (the pharmacy I JUST SWITCHED FROM!!!!) and another, local pharmacy which I will call Pharmacy C.
On the plus side, I am going to switch my prescriptions to Pharmacy C so I can continue to get my cholesterol medicine and insulin in 3 month supplies.
On the negative side, this will be the 3rd pharmacy change for me in less than 3 months.
Sigh. Why does diabetes have to be so difficult??

For These Times

I experienced my first bit of sussy from the Diabetes OC late last week. I hadn't yet posted about it because I've been really busy this weekend and simply haven't had time.

I have to give my heartfelt thanks to Bernard, who read my impassioned rant about test strips and the current cost of my diabetes life. He contacted me and offered to send me a box of test strips, an extra meter, and the software & cable to download all of my pump and meter information. I have to say that is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. I have gotten the chance to experience the wonderful generosity of the Diabetes OC and it makes me thankful that I found you all.

And on that note, while I was cruising around on the Internet today, I found the video for Martina McBride's new song. The song is touching. It fits in with my mood and my idea of what people are really about. The video is also shot in one of my favorite cities, NYC.

I have listed the lyrics below:



In these times in which we live

Where the worst of what we live

Is laid out for all the world on the front page

And the sound of someone’s heartbreak

Is a soundbite at the news break

With a close shot of the tears rollin’ down their face

Blessed be the child who turns a loving eye

And stops to pray

For these times in which we live



In these most uncertain hours

Where the balance of power

Is a fight that is fought every day

And freedom is a word

Some cry out and some whisper

And some are just too quick to give away

Blessed be the one who stands by the one

On the battle line

For these times in which we live



Well give me a heart full of tender mercy

And arms I will open wide

For these times in which we live



Seems like the only answer is

Givin’ up on findin’ one at all

And we hide behind unsure

Pull the blinds and lock the doors

And hang a pleasant picture on the wall

Blessed is the believer who knows love is our redeemer

And the only breath of life

For these times in which we live



Well give me a heart full of tender mercy

And arms I will open wide

Yeah give me words full of loving kindness

And hands ready to hold up a light

For these times in which we live

For these times in which we live

I hope God truly grants me the heart to open my arms to those who need my help.

Picking My Battles

Last time I posted, I was discussing going into battle with my insurance company over the cost of test strips. I had intended on calling Monday, but got busy and work and forgot. Tuesday, I planned to call on my lunch hour. As I was walking through the door to my apartment for lunch, my phone rang. It was a representative from MiniMed calling me to discuss my CGMS. My doctor's office had contacted them to get help on writing the request for my CGMS that has to go to my insurance company.

The gentleman was calling from a local Tennessee office only a few hours from my home. He asked me a series of questions, requested my pump and meter download information, and gave me both his name and phone number to call if I had any questions about anything. This is basically the first real step to getting the CGMS. If the insurance company denies the request (which they nearly always do), we will work on appealing it.

While I had him on the phone, I asked him when it looked like the meters were going to be changing to the One Touch meters. He said they are still saying spring, but he had heard rumor that they were looking at March. That piece of information made my life very happy. March is only a few months away.

With that on my mind, I decided to pick my battle. I know they keep records of all our phone calls, complaints, requests, etc. at the insurance company. Due to this, I do not want to cause too much of a fuss until I get my CGMS approved. If March is an accurate date for the One Touch switchover, then I will suck it up, pay the extra cost, and wait on the One Touch.

This reminds me of the recent posts of Amylia, over at Amazing Grace. She has been discussing the cost of diabetes. With or without health insurance, diabetes is expensive. In this instance, I am going to have to pay $40 per month, for several months, for my test strips. I understand that this is a great deal cheaper than if I had no insurance at all. I am always thankful for my access to good health insurance. But it is still hard to make it on one income (and not a very big income at that!) when you are paying out of pocket-costs every month. It's like another loan payment. But this one never gets paid off.

Test Strip Wars

I went to check with my pharmacy today about my test strips. I kind of guessed that I was going to have to pay another $40 for the rest of my test strips, but I was hoping to just go ahead and get my 90 day supply. I was just going to let it go and pray that Medtronic switches to the One Touch meter A.S.A.P. Right now it is saying Spring 2008. So I am hoping before May... but you know how companies can be. Sometimes they end up pushing stuff off for months.

The had gotten in my strips. They had to order them from the new company since the BD company is no longer making test strips. I knew this was going to happen. When the pharmacist handed the bag to me he said, "There are 6 boxes in there. That should be for 10 times per day."

What? That is 10 times per day for one month, but not for 3 months, like my prescription was written for. I asked him about this right away. He said that my insurance company denied the claim since it was a new company. They basically said they would only pay for 30 days at a time. This pretty much sucks. $40 for 3 months is much better than $40 per month.

Oh, dear Lord, I can't wait for the One Touch meter! I know my co-pay for those strips is only $20. And I know I can get a 3 month prescription.

So, now to the title. Basically, I am getting ready to fight the test strip wars with my insurance company. The only reason I didn't call them today is because I wanted to calm down before I call them a BLESS THEM OUT! It is the SAME STRIP! Just made by a different company.
So wish me luck on Monday when I take up my armor and head into battle with the insurance company....

Endo Appointment and the Crazy A1c

Yesterday I had my check-up with my endo. I got all my prescriptions straightened out. That's a plus. I also got some good news about my CGMS. They are going to have to re-submit the letter as it did not have the correct codes, but the nurse in charge of the whole CGMS thing said that she's had another patient in the office with the same insurance that I have and he was approved. This gives me hope. Hope for a lower A1c.

Lately I haven't been being as diligent as I should be with my blood sugars. I've been testing regularly, but not being so careful what I eat and when. Because of this my blood sugars have been running a little bit on the crazy side. My 3 month average, according to all my meter downloads, is 136. This is higher than I would have like. I've also been having fewer lows, which for me means higher blood sugars overall.

I went into my doctors office toting a stack of graphics and print-outs from my pump and meter software, a list of all the vitamins and medicines I take, a list of the prescriptions that I needed him to write for me, and a list of questions that I wanted to ask him. Call me the good diabetic. :)

The last time I was in the office, my endo had not written me a lab order to get my A1c done. And to be honest with you, I had forgotten about it (bad diabetic!). Maybe it was my subconscious not wanting to know what my A1c actually was...

When I sat down with my doctor we looked over my blood sugars and made some major changes to my pump settings. We changed almost all of my basals, 2 of my carb/insulin ratios, and we also changed the active insulin time from 6 hours to 5 hours. This was after looking over the last 4 weeks of graphics and discussing the trends. He sees stuff I never can.

I also asked him some questions about Dr. Bernstein and what he thought about low carbs and no carb diets. He, of course, did not agree and spouted off something from the ADA that says we need at least 160 grams of carbs per day. I am not sure that I agree with that. I would much rather keep my carbs per day under 100. Although I have trouble doing it most of the time.

I also asked him about the vitamins I have been taking. He told me he wanted me to take more Vitamin D. So that's next on my list of stuff to buy.

Before I left the did an in office A1c. It was one of the home-type tests, I think. When it came back it was 5.6. That is CRAZY! I know there is no way that my A1c is 5.6. Not when my average of blood sugars is 136. It doesn't add up. If I believed it was correct, I would have jumped up and down and screamed for joy. I just don't think it was. So basically I am pretending like that A1c never happened and I made sure to get an order for lab work for my next appointment.

Honestly, I don't know what the deal is. I just know that my doctor called me "motivated," which I took as a complement. I figure that I have a right to be obsessive compulsive about my diabetes care. I want to live a long and healthy life. I want to still be alive when there is a CURE!

How You Know You've Been Testing Too Often....

Sorry about the bad quality of the picture. It was taken with my camera phone.