Sunday, November 11, 2007

The Bee & Me

I have discussed my diagnosis before. I talked about how my mother found out I was diabetic and what bits and pieces that I remember from that awful time in my life. But I don't think I have ever talked about this little guy:
This is a bee. I think. Actually I'm not sure that it isn't the love child of a bee and a troll. It's been through a lot of stuff. A four year old can do that to a toy. He (she?) was bought for me when I was diagnosed. I'm not sure if it was purchased in the hospital gift store, or my parents got it somewhere else and brought it to me.
I do know that I remember holding it while I was held down to get shots in the hospital. I remember it being a bribe of sorts for me not to cry. (It didn't work.) But I remember this little bee. It made me smile.
I found it the other night, in an old trunk (one I actually took to diabetes camp!) with a bunch of stuff from my childhood. I was thinking about this little bee, and I remembered that I had kept it. When I found it, I couldn't help but think about how it looked just like I remembered it. It took me back to being four years old and holding it while I lay on my stomach in a hospital bed in Cookeville, Tennessee just after my diagnosis. I can almost feel the hot tears running down my face.
But that's not the only time I remember it. I remember having it at home, playing in the bathtub (I always had lots of toys in the bathtub). I remember it getting water stuck in it and my dad taking his pocket knife to cut the hole in the bottom of it bigger, so the water could drain out. That hole is still there, of course.
This little bee went through a lot with me. And as I got older, I remembered it and kept it. When I was putting pieces of my childhood in that trunk as a teenager, in went the bee. Lots of things didn't make it into that trunk. But that bee made it. It is part of my memory of my diagnosis.
I can't tell you how long I carried around that bee, just that it survived my childhood. Not many toys can say that with any child.
So I got the bee out and took his (her?) picture to post on here. I wanted to share it with you because I know that others have some similar memories. I would love to hear about yours.
As a side note, I took the bee to my mother's house on Friday night. I asked her if she remembered it. She remembered the bee, but not when or how I had gotten it. Amazing what children remember. That little bee is something I won't ever forget.


Unknown said...

What a great post, and a great little bee friend you have there. It's magical. I loved those little troll dolls, too. I remember a red plastic box with a mirror in the top and a magnetic clasp that close it. I was enamored by this thing my mom bought for me during my week in the hospital with diabetes. I had that on my bedside tray and loved to open and close it, the magnetic clasp shutting it with force.

I also remember having my stuffed animals, Bubba (the beagle dog) and Christmas (the koala bear that my grandma who is now passed named) with me at all times. I am 30 years old and still kinda miss them. When I get sad and am at home, I'll take them out and hug them. They were my buddies. Still are, too, sometimes.

Thanks for the memories! :)

Unknown said...

hey, cute profile change photo from NYC, by the way! :)

Cara said...

The sad part is that I had about a million trolls at one time. I don't know what happened to any of them except this one & one that I got my dad, that was given back to me when he moved. I used to get one after every time I got sick and had to go to the doctor.
Thanks about the picture comment too. My friend took that when we were in NYC in January of this year.

Anonymous said...

Many little artifacts from my childhood have survived to this day, Cara. I have a hard time letting go of things that were of great importance to a kid back then. It seems they have somehow gained even greater importance over the years.

Anonymous said...

That was a great post, got me thinking about my "bee" which was a little bear with angel wings.

My parents were in the middle their divorce when I was diagnosed and THEY gave me this little angel bear during my hospital, you can imagine how special it was to me at that time. It was my comfort in the hospital and the last gift I ever got from both of my parents. : )

I've still got it, sitting on the shelf in my closet. ; )

Scott K. Johnson said...

I think that is very cool Cara! What a nice surprise to find again!

Donna said...

I got a little stuffed tiger with a bell in it's tail when I was diagnosed. I don't remember who gave it to me. But I still have it. (I'll have to post a picture of it on my blog one of these days.) The poor thing has been through a lot & isn't the cutest little tiger anymore. But he is precious to me - just like your "bee".

Jillian said...

(I didn't read your post. Sorry. I will, I promise.) I just wanted to return your comment before I forgot. I am not sure how long 504 has been around, but I seriously can't believe that no one ever told my family about it. The only reason it came into our lives was my sister's lupus. When she returned to school after her diagnosis she had a special tutor and was in a wheel chair for a period of time. I don't really think that we would have known about it for a long time otherwise. And still one was never in place for me, until diabetes became a problem in 9th grade because of anxiety. Oy.

Jillian said...

Okay I'm back. I have 2 similar diagnosis toys. One was a little elephant in a nurses uniform that fit around one nurses stethoscope, she was the one that drew the blood that would lead to my diagnosis. That elephant got lost along the way.
The second is a stuffed yellow lab puppy, named Pal after Arthur's puppy. Arthur was big at the time of my diagnosis. I received the puppy when I was in the hospital as a gift from one of the school moms that watched my sister and I sometimes after school. I still have him and he lives on the top shelf of my closet.
Oh and in my opinion your bee is a girl.

Bernard said...


Just got here from another blog. Thank you for such a lovely post about this precious memory.

Anonymous said...

Great post, Cara! Sorry I'm about three years late on this one, but just stumbled across it from the comments in Kerri's Old Support Vlog from 2008... All of which follows up my latest blog of my own little hallmark from the pre-D and dx days. Awesome to find that, and hope Bee (Love Child BeeTroll) has stayed a part of your life to bring some smiles and good memories. Thanks for sharing, as always!