Spare Change

If you're like me, you don't carry a whole lot of cash on your person. But I'd almost bet that most of us could find a quarter rolling around in the bottom of our purses, or in an old coat pocket. A quarter. Twenty-five cents. When we're talking about change, that's not a lot.

But when we're talking about diabetes, twenty-five is a huge number. Twenty-five years ago today, a little 4 year old girl ended up in the hospital. Twenty-five years ago her life, and the lives of all those who loved, and would love her changed forever.

That little girl grew up. I'm almost 30 now. And diabetes is still around. As I'm writing this post my emotions are all over the place. Part of me celebrates. I celebrate LIVING with diabetes. I celebrate friends, and family, and the online community. I celebrate decent health. I celebrate the fact that parts of my life are so much better as a result of things surrounding diabetes.

But I'm also sad. I mourn. I mourn for innocence lost. I mourn for good health that I've never known. I mourn that people are still dying from this disease.

I'm angry because the doctors said "ten years" in 1986. I feel guilty because my health is better than some of my peers (Why did I get the good genes??).

Diabetes is an emotional disease. I am glad that some good emotions are coming out today. I'm going to Knoxville to celebrate a friend's birthday. But I'll also be celebrating 25 years. A quarter of a century of living with diabetes.

And just so you know... I'll probably have ice cream. :)