I have a new appointment with my endo in just a couple of weeks. I am a little afraid (okay a LOT afraid) of what's going to happen at this appointment. I had every intention of losing some weight, getting tighter control in my blood sugars, and exercising more since my last appointment (in April). Yet, here I am, nearly 4 months later. My blood sugar is more out of control now than it has been in a long time (which I know is going to mean a higher A1c), my exercise is non-existent, my food intake has not been exactly healthy, and I've gained weight. I've not stepped on a scale, but you always can tell when your clothes begin to fit your differently.
I have this complex of wanting to please people. Not everyone, mind you. But I like to make people happy if it is within my power. And I know that sliding back on all of my goals is not going to please my endo or CDE.
So, what do I do? It's too late to crash diet and lose some pounds. My pump and meter records will tell the true tale of my crappy blood sugar control. And I can't lie when they ask me about exercise. I've not been doing it.
So not only have I disappointed myself, I've disappointed them as well. It's all about getting back in there. Recommitting myself. I know this. Mentally, I know all the steps to take to get back where I want to be. And to get even better control (which is my ultimate goal). But making that first step isn't the issue. It's the second and third and fourth steps that seem to get in my way.