Lost Sleep

The thing I hate more than anything is loosing sleep. I'm a sleeper. I always have been. I took naps way longer than most kids and I had to be dragged out of bed most mornings.

I like to get my 8 hours plus. I can also sleep almost anywhere.

Put me in a car? I'm asleep in 10 minutes or so. A plane? I'm usually asleep before they get to drink orders.

This is not unusual for me. The only time I ever worried about sleep was when I was not making it through the day at work, without going to my car to take a nap. While that's another story, it lead to my Celiac diagnosis, and I'm back to just regularly sleeping a lot.

Diabetes is a sleep stealer. A full on stealer of sleep. With current diabetes technology, the wonderful world of Constant Glucose Monitoring, we are give the security of closer diabetes monitoring. We are given the benefits of knowing what out blood sugar is all of the time. It is a beautiful and wonderful technology, but it also has it's downsides.

There are alarms. All the time. You're too high, you're too low. You're rising quickly or falling quickly. Your sensor has lost communication with your device. During the day, these are great. You hear it, you give a quick adjustment and hopefully fall back into your range again. During the night, these alarms can be lifesaving. An alarm that wakes me from a low, could potentially save me from hospitalization or even death.

But these alarms, when they wake me at night, also keep me awake. Sometimes they go off multiple times during the night, making sleep broken and interrupted. Other times, it wakes me and I can't go back to sleep. This is what has been happening more often lately.

I miss sleep. I miss uninterrupted sleep. I miss it so much. It makes my days hard sometimes. It makes my nights restless. Diabetes is a sleep stealer.

My options are limited. I could turn off my sensor at night, but lose the safety of knowing if I drop too low or go too high. It's something that I've considered. But I'm not sure I'm ready to do this for now.

Thankfully, technology is improving. There are options out there to help regulate your blood sugar levels, without as much human decision making.  But until I get that technology, uninterrupted sleep is a nice idea, but not always possible.

Ignorance is Bliss

One of the things that annoys all of us PWD is when the general populations perpetuates diabetes myths. It has been something that we have been fighting since the day we (or our loved one) was diagnosed with diabetes.

We deal with people telling us to eat cinnamon, run 10 miles a day, stop eating bread, etc and then your diabetes will go away. We deal with people saying that diabetes happens because someone is overweight or ate too much sugar (both of which are untrue for both Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes).
Sometimes it seems like a constant battle.

Celiac has been in my world for only a couple of months. I spend most of my time trying to figure out what I'm doing, if I'm eating the right thing, and what the best gluten-free food are. It didn't really occur to me that I would step into advocacy for celiac by accident. But it happened.

Last weekend I was at Whole Foods (a store, prior to my celiac diagnosis, I had only been in a couple of times). It was crowded and busy, as most places are on Saturday afternoon. There I was, standing in the gluten-free mixes/flours isle trying to decide which of them I was going to try.

An older lady came up to an employee standing nearby to ask where she could find waffle mix. The employee turned around and came near me and grabbed a box of waffle mix and handed it to the lady. She immediately and quite loudly stated, "I don't want this gluten-free stuff. This whole gluten-free thing has gotten out of hand."

I probably would have let it go. I can agree that so many people are going gluten-free for a variety of reason, not all of them medical. But the older lady didn't stop there. She kept on about how everyone has something and everyone wants to have something just to be different and it is ridiculous.
I couldn't stop myself. I said, "Until it happens to you."

She then proceeded to tell me that everyone thinks their kid has autism when they just want an excuse to say something is wrong and that it is the same way for people who don't eat gluten. Then she said, "Unless you have a medical diagnosis, you aren't sick."

I kept my mouth shut. What I really wanted to do was punch her, but I'm a non-confrontational person and I didn't relish the though of getting arrested in the middle of Whole Foods on a Saturday. It would have really thrown a wrench in my plans.

At first, I was mad. Then I was thinking of all the things I should have said to her, but didn't. Then I realized, this is just like the diabetes myths I've been trying to bust for years. Now it's a whole new disease, and new myths.

Strangely enough, I almost envy that hateful old lady from Whole Foods. She has obviously been blessed to never had a major illness strike anyone in her family. It is where her ignorance stems from. And in that case, ignorance is bliss. I truly hope she never has to have a loved one deal with an auto-immune disease.

Navigating without a Compass

We all know that living with diabetes isn't easy. There are ups and downs and rollercoasters and burnout and frustrations. We bond together and we get through. I've always lived with diabetes (at least it SEEMS like always). I found friends to help me through. I have good days and bad days, but overall, I understand diabetes.

I have limits, there are levels to count and numbers to interpret that tell me where I'm at on my diabetes journey. A1c, and carb counts and blood sugar numbers are all things that are there, sometimes instantly, to let me know how I'm doing. High number, give some more insulin. Low number, give some less insulin (and treat that low!). A1c, let me know over several months how I'm doing overall. I have a constant glucose monitor that I wear, almost all the time. It lets me know when I'm getting too high or low. I can seen trends and make changes based on those trends.

To me, diabetes is, for the most part, understandable. Maybe not predictable, but understandable.

Things like blood sugar meters and constant glucose monitors are my compass in my diabetes life. They help guide me.

Celiac is a totally different story for me. I was diagnosed, while having no obvious symptoms (aside from anemia). I have none of the gastrointestinal issues that many associate with celiac disease. Because of this, I feel like I'm leading my new, gluten-free life without a compass. I feel as if I have no way to tell if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.


I've stopped eating gluten. I read labels. I replaced many of my kitchen items. I call restaurants to find out about gluten free items. I talk with wait staff. But due to my lack of symptoms, I have no idea if I'm actually consuming gluten, in unknown ways.

I don't have a number to guide me. I can't know that I'm going it right because I feel better....because other than sleeping better, nothing has really changed for me in the past four weeks.

I feel lost. Like I have no compass and I'm unsure which direction I'm going. I know I'm at least sort-of going in right direction. But I could be miles off an be completely unaware.

Thankfully, I have a great medial team, friends who support me (off line and online) and a family who loves me. I know it will (or I hope it will) get easier with time. But can someone please come up with a compass for me? A celiac compass? That would be great.

Fear in Food

When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, I was 4 years old. I was old enough to understand what sugar was and at that time, PWD avoided all refined sugar. I knew to say "I can't eat that," when offered a cookie or punch or something like a cupcake or candy bar.

Soon those around me adapted and life moved on. On top of that, we advanced in the world of diabetes and we learned to carb count and bolus and I could have refined sugar. For 30 years my life has been about what I put in my mouth, what my blood sugar is, and how much insulin to take.

But food hasn't really be a scary thing to me. I live and grew up in the South. Everything centers around food. Someone has a baby: bring food. Someone has a birthday: bake a cake. Someone dies: take food to the family. Someone celebrates a life milestone... you got it: food.

Even just having people over to play cards or monopoly involves food in the South. You have snacks out and drinks. It's part of being a good host or hostess. Basically, we gather, we eat.

Suddenly my life has become scary. Food is scary. Eating out with friends is scary. Having a party at work or friends over for game night just became scary. At first I thought to myself, "I will just have to eat at home more and make my own stuff." Not something I was thrilled about, but something that could be done, nonetheless.

But then, as a person who is proactive about their health does, I started reading on the internet and came across some sites that have me scared of my own home. My own kitchen. The place that I have always felt like I was good and decent and could bake up some love.

This site (to be honest, I got off the site after reading for a while and couldn't tell you what it was) recommended a complete ditching of basically everything in your kitchen. Including non-stick pots and pans and wooden utensils. It also recommended throwing out all condiments, deep cleaning your oven, and throwing all baking things (sugar, cornmeal, etc.) out as well and starting from scratch.
This terrifies me. Even my own kitchen isn't safe.

There is so much conflicting information out there on the internet. Some sites say to never eat at someone else's home. Some say to offer to help cook to be sure that food isn't cross contaminated. Some say, just talk with your host or hostess and explain. Which is true? Which is right?

There are the sites that say you should explain to your server when you eat out, IF you eat out. Some say you should insist on speaking with a manager or the chef directly. Some say to avoid eating out if at all possible. Then there's the fear of cross contamination of something as simple as a salad!! How?? Apparently if they mix a salad in the same bowl as a salad that had another dressing or croutons, there could be a chance for cross contamination.

Again, when do I stop being afraid of food? Currently, I'm still consuming gluten as I wait for my first appointment with the GI doctor, but I'm already slightly terrified of food. Is this what it's like to be diagnosed with diabetes as an adult?? For those of you who have been diagnosed with celiac, are you afraid of food? Are you afraid to eat food at other peoples' homes? Or out at a restaurant with friends? Does this fear go away?

Today is a scary and uncertain day. Tomorrow will be better. I hope. For now, I'm going to do my best to be brave in the face of this scary moment and scary life change and hope that things get easier as they go along.

Pockets

Wearing an insulin pump certainly comes with its fair share of issues. They aren’t enough to make me think of every NOT wearing one, but there are issues. Something that you nearly always hear from women insulin pumpers is how annoying it is to wear a dress AND an insulin pump. In fact, I can’t even count the number of times this has come up in conversations that I’ve had with other women with diabetes.

There have been so many blog post written about it. More than I could even tag here. Where to wear your insulin pump when you’re in a dress…. Oh my. I’ve shared with so many women and had them share their stories and tips with me and I LOVE it. Almost as much as I love dresses. But in truth, I’m the world’s WORST for buying dresses and not wearing them.

I love dresses. I love pretty things. I love to wear them. But I hate to wear them at the same time. Because in wearing a dress, my insulin pump (and in turn, my cgms) become inaccessible. Or at least way more difficult to be accessible. So, I don’t wear dresses that often. I buy them. And don’t wear them.

But I recently discovered something. Target has dresses with pockets. Really! Pockets! Pockets in a dress make an insulin pump the easiest thing EVER. Just a seam ripper to take a couple of stitches out, and I can thread my pump tubing through the pocket. And I have easy access to my pump AND I can wear a dress.

So far, I’ve purchased 3 dresses with pockets. And in the past two weeks, I’ve worn more dresses on more days than I’ve probably worn in 6 months. I love it. I want more of them. In fact, I want them ALL. Dresses with pockets make me more fashion happy than I’ve been in a long time. I know that with some minor alterations, any dress could have pockets added. But I’m too lazy to make the alterations myself and too cheap to pay someone to make the alterations.

Really, I can’t be the only woman who likes a dress with pockets. For any reason, not just insulin pumps. Pockets in general are just nice. Why don’t more dresses have them? What about you other ladies out there? Have you found dresses with pockets? Where???? I need a few (dozen) more.

D-Sick Day

I’ve written about the fine line between making people understand how complex and difficult living with diabetes is, while not letting them pity me or feel sorry for me. It is a never ending tightrope. I want to believe that I can do anything, in spite of diabetes. I DO believe that 99.999% of the time. Sure, there are pesky little things like being a pilot or being in the military, but I’ve done so many things in my life when diabetes wasn’t a huge in the “can I or can’t I,” just in the planning of the “I can.”

I’ve had diabetes for 28 years. Many years of living with a disease that factors into every part of my life. But I rarely let it get me down. In fact, I HATE when diabetes slows me down. And it does sometimes. As much as I don’t want to admit it. I will work through d relate sickness, and headaches, and low blood sugars and high blood sugars. I never bat an eye. Or if I do, the normal observer would never notice it as such.

The last time I had a time when I had to stop doing something (form more than a slight pause) or call in sick to work was almost ten years ago…until last week. In the past 5 months, my life has been turned on end. Instead of downloading blood sugars and adjusting basal rates for all the MAJOR changes in my life, I’ve been chasing problems. Fixing lows and highs as they come. Not the smartest thing to do, but for a while it was…. Working? Okay, not really working, but I was going okay.

Last week I was fighting yet ANOTHER low blood sugar. I had a friend over for dinner. I ate, and went low AGAIN. So, instead of testing and treating and testing again, I just ate. And drank. And ate some more. Needless to say, by the time bedtime rolled around, I was in the high 200s. I bloused, plus a little to treat said high. Less than two hours later, I was up again and I was in the high 300s. I bloused again. By 1:00 in the morning, I was nearly 500. I pulled by infusion site and started over. I tested for ketones (there were none, thank GOODNESS!). I was up again at 3:30 and had a “rant” on face book as I was still in the high 400s. I bloused again and went BACK to sleep.

I woke up the next morning sick. I still had no ketones. But my blood sugar was in the mid-200s. I had the pounding headache and I felt like someone had taken sandpaper to the back of my throat. And then I did something I haven’t done in nearly a decade. I called in sick to work. I was already scheduled to take half a day off as I had an early afternoon appointment with my endo (ironic, huh??), but the fact that I had to call in sick to work for something related to diabetes made me angry.

By that afternoon, I was nearly totally recovered. I was blessed to have an appointment that afternoon. After months of craziness, I talked with my nurse practitioner (who I see when I don’t see my endo) about all the changes in my life and about my blood sugars and about the adjustments that I needed to make to (hopefully) get me back on the right road. We talked about my lower a1C and about how I hated how I got there (roller-coaster blood sugars).

I walked out of the office feeling better physically and mentally. But I was still so angry. And hurt. And upset. And disappointed. Because I felt (feel?) that calling in sick because of diabetes meant (means?) that diabetes won. Somewhere in my conscious mind, I know better. But I can’t help the way I feel. I feel like I let diabetes won. Maybe just for that morning. But it won. And I hate that more than I hate anything. I hate it more than the shots, and infusion sites, and finger pricks, and the lows and the highs. I hate it more than I hate feeling bad because of diabetes. I hate that diabetes stopped me, even for a little while.

(Totally related note: Anyone who says diabetes affects only your blood sugar, hasn’t dealt with the mental effects of living with a chronic illness.) 

Cereal: The Devil's Food

“Hi. My name is Cara and I’m a cereal addict.”

I feel like I should be in some sort of a recovery program. Ever since I started monitoring my blood sugar super closely and got on an insulin pump, it became apparent that cereal was a TERRIBLE thing for me. Non-sugar cereals make my blood sugar crazy. The less sugar and more whole grains, the less crazy. But still crazy.

Sugar cereals make me so crazy that it’s scary. My blood sugars will rise quickly, sometimes as much at 150 points in half an hour, and stay up for HOURS, no matter how much insulin I take.

Because of the major issues I have with controlling my blood sugars when I eat cereal, I tend to stay away from it. I will indulge occasionally, but I just don’t do it because of all the horribleness that comes along with it. It’s just not worth it. Most of the time.

Sometimes I’ll get a box of rice crispies or cheerios and eat them. I LOVE them. I have to limit myself, but I do it. Recently I bought a box of rice crispies. When they were gone, I bought another box. When those were gone, I bought some corn flakes. (Are you seeing a pattern here yet?)

And then, on Friday, it happened: I found the small boxes ($1) of Cap N’ Crunch cereal on sale at the store. I refuse to buy a big box, but a small box… okay. I bought five boxes.

Saturday morning I had a bowl (translate: two large bowls) and bloused (I did a S.W.A.G. bolus; don’t know what that is? Click here where you can download a PDF of awesome d terms.), and went about my day. I knew I was going to spike. But I had plans to clean my house and figured it would help. But within a couple of hours I felt like crap. My CGMS said I was above 400 (it doesn’t give specific readings above 400, just an “above 400”). I checked and got this:

After having a mini-melt down, and suddenly understanding why I felt like throwing up (naseuea comes with high blood sugars sometimes), I gave an injection correction (I feel like that sounds lie something from School House Rocks!) and waited. Over the day I waited and bloused and waited and bloused. And tested and tested and tested. At one point I was somewhere between small and moderate ketones, but it didn’t last long (thankfully).

And it was nearly 12 hours later before I came down. And crashed at somewhere around 50. The blood sugar roller coaster is no fun, but in my earlier mentioned melt-down, I also did this:

Yes, you see that right. That’s a garbage bag. With every box of cereal in my house in it. In full disclosure, I still have the bag, but only cause I’ve not been to take off my trash yet. Oh, and pay no attention to my bare feet in the picture. :)

Honestly, I have a feeling I went from being sort of on the “no cereal” bandwagon, to falling off completely. And in order to get back on, I’m giving up cereal, cold-turkey. My problem is that I LOVE cereal. I can’t stop with one bowl. And I want to eat it ALL the time.

So much like a person addicted, I’m quitting. Cold-turkey. I won’t lie, I kind of want to go get that cereal bag. But I’m not going to do it. Until I can break myself of this horrible cereal eating habit, and learn to eat small amounts only occasionally, I’m done with the evil thing.

I think that a lot of times, we people with diabetes like to indulge. And it’s OKAY. It’s not that I can’t have cereal. It’s that I don’t particularly want to deal with the fall-out that comes with it. And I understand that I don’t have enough self-control to make myself stop with one SMALL bowl of cereal. But sometimes, even though we know better, we do it anyway. Perhaps it’s diabetes burn-out, in a way. Perhaps it’s just a “normalcy” thing that we want. I don’t know.

But for now, I’m on the “no cereal” band wagon again. My name is Cara and I’m a cereal addict. It’s been four days since my last bowl.

*I did NOT write this to make light of those suffering from actual addiction issues. As a person who knows and loves several different people who are recovering (or still) addicts, I encourage anyone dealing with these issues to seek help.*

Opinions and Name Changes

Even though I’ve been slightly detached from the diabetes online community in the past several weeks, I’ve seen some talk about the petition going around that seeks support to have the names of T1 & T2 diabetes changed. This grabbed my attention almost immediately. I started searching around on the different posts that people were putting up, and even received an email from the women behind the movement and I read it as well.

I did some research, though for the most part I’ve been fairly quiet about it. Others in the D-OC have done a much better job writing about this and stating their opinions, but I wanted to state my own. It’s simple. And it’s nothing that hasn’t already been said. But I feel like I should say it from ME. I want my words on this.

First off, I was diagnosed with diabetes in 1986. I was just a few months shy of my fifth birthday. It was called “juvenile diabetes.” The pediatric endocrinologist that I saw told my parents that my pancreas probably hadn’t worked well from the time I was born, but I hadn’t been big enough for diabetes to show up yet. He also had me on one injection of NPH insulin per day. Barely 6 months later I had my tonsils taken out (due to chronic illness). My hospital records at the time show my a1c was 12.6 and in those records it stated “diabetes is finally stable enough to perform tonsillectomy.”   

Just in reading the above, if you know much about T1 diabetes, you will see about a million things wrong with that. I was sick a LOT as a child (a result of being a preemie). My guess is that one of my many bouts with strep throat triggered the deadly attack on my beat cells, resulting in my diabetes. We all know an a1c of 12.1 is far from stable and that, even in 1986, one injection of NPH per day wouldn’t cut it.

But it’s what we had. It’s what we understood. Eventually I went to two shots per day (of a mix of NPH and R). Still not great, but it was what we had. I rarely went to a pediatric endo. I ended up in a coma when I was 8 because no one ever taught my mother that just because I was sick with a stomach flu didn’t mean that I didn’t need insulin (in her mind I wasn’t eating… I didn’t need insulin).

Life was different. I lived for a few years before I remember being called “insulin dependent” and many, many more years before I was dubbed “Type 1.” But it’s was what we knew. It was what we had. Until I joined the D-OC, I’d never heard of an adult being diagnosed with T1 diabetes. I’d never heard of a child being diagnosed with T2.

Knowledge was different. Education was different. And even now, I feel like my own education about diabetes is constantly evolving. It was only a few years ago, I am ashamed to say, that I even mentioned about a name change. The conversation started somewhere online and I said, “Heck, yeah!” But I was wrong. I’ll admit when I am.

I am not skinny. If I told a random person I had diabetes, it would be very easy for them to look at me and say, “If you’d lose weight, you’d be cured!” In fact, I even had a “health coach” tell me I could come off insulin if I lost weight….and she had my paperwork in front of her with my T1 diagnosis on it.

I have friends who are T2 who are not overweight. I have friends who are overweight that are not T2. I have friends who had diabetes when they were pregnant. I have friends who once took insulin for T2 and now take nothing…not even a pill. But the fact is that we ALL have diabetes. We ALL put up with media, medical, and public misinformation. We have ALL lost friends to this disease (or know someone who has). We ALL need to take a stand. For each other.

Of late, I have been very much on my soap box about the way that T2 patients are treated. By medical professionals, the media….and even some of us in the D-OC. I would love to have an off line advocacy in my area that dealt with informing T2s and informing medical professionals about T2.

The truth is…I feel like this name change petition is an attack against T2 patients. And I don’t like it. People with diabetes live with a HUGE amount of guilt, no matter what type of diabetes they have or when they were diagnosed. I think T2 patients often get even more of this guilt piled on them by the media and even their medical team.

Would I love to have the media, the general public, etc know that I have diabetes caused by an auto-immune attack on my beta cells when I was a kid? Sure. But making them understand that isn’t about changing the name of the disease. It’s about educating people about diabetes and the different types there are. It’s about educating people that just because someone is overweight, doesn’t mean they could “eat less/diet/exercise” and make said diabetes “go away.” It’s about educating them that just because someone is thin or athletic doesn’t mean that they have “the bad type” of diabetes.

Diabetes is an extremely complex disease with extremely complex treatments and extremely complex emotional issues that come along with living with a chronic illness “every day, every hour, every minute.” We do NOT need to place something else that will ultimately cause more division, more confusion, and more discord. We should be pulling together as a community and advocating for more research, better technology, better treatment, and more education for the general public.

I know I’ve only said what others have said. But that’s just my opinion and I really felt the need to write about it….and that’s what a blog is for, right? 

Also, on a completely separate note: This is my 500th post. Wow.

Announcements

It's all over the internet today. All over twitter and facebook. Probably all over media outlets (I wouldn't know as I rarely watch television or pay attention to much news). The announcement that was hinted at yesterday, and release today from the Diabetes Research Institute. 

I won't lie. I had a hard time yesterday, after reading what was being hinted at. That four letter word that many of us don't even like to whisper. Because so many of us were told "5 to 10 years." and for many of us, it's been decades more than this. 

The first thing I did this morning when my alarm clock went off was pick up my smart phone and opened facebook. I knew the "announcement" would be there. I knew that it would already be spreading like wildfire. And it was there. And I watched it. And the ENTIRE time I watched it, I felt robbed. I felt disappointment (and relief, but I'll talk about that feeling later, in another post). 

Ninety percent of what was in that video announcement from the Diabetes Research Institute was information I'd heard before. The ten percent that wasn't something I'd read or heard before was simply an expounding on information that I already KNEW was being worked toward.

And nothing in it was actual proof that there had been any major breakthrough. Just information that they are working toward something that they feel is a good step forward. And then they asked for money. 

It went from emotional robbery to a whole different kind of robbery. 

I understand that the Diabetes Research Institute needs funding. I get that. I'm proud to say that I support several different fund raising programs that DRI gets money from and I've even donated money directly to DRI in the past. I am GLAD to help raise money to find a cure. And to advance technology and treatment in the mean time.

A fundraising announcement to help fund a different (or in this case, more advanced) line of research is NOT a major announcement. It's not a breakthrough. There's no need for an embargo until a specific date or time.There just isn't. 

I want to have hope that a cure will happen. But after 27 years of living with diabetes, I really don't know that it will happen in my life. I hope it does. But I am not sure that it will. And I've accepted my reality. It's all I've ever known. 

And while I'm terribly proud that they are continuing to research and making positive steps forward, I just felt like this morning's "announcement" might has well have been them telling me that mice have been cured. It's something I already knew. 

Scar Tissue Issue

I love that the title of this post rhymes. It kind of makes me laugh. And this little problem is one that I NEED to laugh at. Otherwise it makes me want to bawl my eyes out.

Let me start at the beginning… Several months ago I started having infusion sets give me “NO DELIVERY” alarms quite a bit. Always within the first 12 hours of a new infusion site; mostly within the first few hours of a new infusion site. “NO DELIEVERY” began to haunt me in my dreams.

I’ve been pumping for nearly 7 years and up until a few months ago, I could count on one hand the number of times I got a “NO DELIVERY” alarm. I was pulling out sites left and right. About 90% of the time, the cannula didn’t look kinked, or bent. Basically, nothing looked like it was wrong. It’s frustrating because not only to I have to start all over; it’s wasting a perfectly good infusion set. I hate it. I may have insurance, but it’s still money out of my pocket and I HATE wasting money. When a sensor goes back, I can fake it for a day or so and let it have time to acclimate. You don’t have that luxury with an infusion set. Insulin = life.

In the past month it went from having “NO DELIVERY” alarms more than I’d like to having 3 or 4 in a row before I could get a site that worked. I was BEYOND frustrated. I called MiniMed to ask their advice and to let them know that I thought it was scar tissue. I had been given a box of 6 mm cannula Mio infusion sites and they seemed to not give me any trouble at all.

The MiniMed people were great, as always. They replaced my sets and agreed that it was a very good possibility that the 9 mm cannula Quick Sets were hitting scar tissue and getting blocked or bent because of the scar tissue. They replaced 4 of my sets with 6 mm Quick Sets to see if those would work and told me that they’d be glad to replace the ones I have if the 6 mm ones worked.

I got then in the mail last week and AGAIN, I went through 2 of the 6 mm Quick Sets before I finally gave up and put a Mio in my lower back. It’s been my stomach that has been causing me the problems. The other sites I use (arms, lower back) haven’t been giving me trouble. I’ve just come to the conclusion that A) for whatever reason, the Mios work better on me right now and B) that my stomach may be too riddled with scar tissue to have infusions sites anymore.

So, here are my questions: Does anyone know what the difference is in the Mio and the Quick Sets? If the cannulas are the same length, why does it seem like only the Quick Sets give me trouble? And do you have suggestions on other sites for me to put in infusion sets? Something I can reach myself, since I have no one to help me with them.

My worst fear being forced to take a “pump vacation” due to something like scar tissue. I don’t want to have to do it. In fact, right now I refuse to do it. I just don’t know exactly what to do. Part of me thought that a different infusion set might be better. If not the Mio, then something else. Part of me wants to FORCE the sites I have to work (though I know that’s not going to happen). And a part of me wants to deny that anything is wrong in the first place.

Why doesn’t diabetes play fair?

"Non-Preferred"

So several months ago MiniMed made the announcement that they had teamed with Bayer to produce their new Link meter. Prior to that, they were teamed with Life Scan/One Touch. I’ve only been insulin pumping for six years, but during that time I’ve always had a link meter. Prior to the Life Scan/One Touch partnership, there was a BD link meter.

My One Touch Ultra Link

I like the convenience of a Link meter for my pump. It may not save me much time, but it does save me some time. It remotely sends my blood sugars to my insulin pump, saving me from having to punch the number in myself. Another great thing is that when I download my pump data, the blood sugars are downloaded as well, meaning I don’t need to worry about downloading a meter as well.

This week, MiniMed sent me my Bayer Contour Next Link. I’ve been reluctant about it just because I LIKE my One Touch. In fact, I used a One Touch for years before I starting pumping and was really glad when MiniMed switched from BD to One Touch. The thought of changing meters again made me kind of twitchy.

But, as with any new meter, curiosity got to me. I opened it up and decided I’d at least try it. I linked it to my pump (you can have more than one meter linked to your pump, which I didn’t know). And I used it. And I liked it. A lot. It surprised me how much. I like a lot of different meters, but having this one made me want to keep using it. I thought about switching after my next refill of test strips, so I stopped by my pharmacy and had them run my insurance to see if I could get the strips. Turns out Bayer strips are “non-preferred” and that makes them not covered. Accu-Chek and One Touch are (which I already knew).

My Bayer Contour Next Link

Honestly, I don’t mind staying with One Touch, but what about people who didn’t have that option. They are just getting their insulin pumps and are automatically given the Bayer meter. They would have to give up that convenience option because of stupid insurance.

There is supposedly a program that Bayer has that offers a discount on strips if you have insurance (not Medicaid or Medicare). You only pay $15 per month for strips. I thought about doing this as well. I could use the new meter and it would actually be cheaper than my current co-pays because they are more (way more) than the $15 per month. BUT then I read the small print. The program is only through December 2013 (and there is the even smaller print that says Bayer can cancel the program at any time).

Would I get used to a new meter? Learn to love it? Be happy about it and then be forced to go back to One Touch because the Bayer strips still aren’t covered by my insurance?? Or is this some type of bridge program til they can get more insurance companies to cover it? I don’t know.

I know I have one friend that was forced to change to the Bayer strips cause insurance quit covering they One Touch. I know another than had no problems with her insurance ever covering the Bayer strips. I have good insurance. Really good insurance. So I don’t particularly want to rock the boat. I just wish that they looked at glucose strips as glucose strips. They all pretty much cost the same, so why do they care?!

Has anyone else had trouble getting these Bayer Contour strips covered? Does anyone know what the deal is with the strip program? Is it going to continue? What’s the purpose of it? I mean, if more insurance companies aren’t picking them up at the end of the year, they will lose customers. We don’t have money to pay for strips out of pocket if we don’t have to.

Anyway, another choice in the life of a person with diabetes. Which meter? Sigh. This is life. Sadly, I can’t go with the “fun” meter just because it’s fun. I’ve got to go with what the insurance will pay for.

Fourth Times a Charm?

I swear, sometimes diabetes just likes to raise a fuss. It does it in whatever way it can and causes as much trouble as possible in as short a span of time as possible. A couple of days ago my blood sugars starting running on the high side. I wasn't sure why. It happens sometimes. But I dealt with it. I thought.

I was at work and I ended up bolusing ALL DAY LONG. It felt crazy. I figured I was 3 days into my infusion set, so my site was probably going bad. I didn't change it at work cause I only had and hour left. I decided to wait until I got home.

When I got home I grabbed my dinner and heated it up. As it was heating, I did a site change. New insulin, new site, ready to go. I bolused and started to eat. Not 30 seconds in, I get a "No Delivery" alarm. GAHH!

Okay, I hate "No Delivery" alarms. They are annoying. I don't know why I get them and nine times out of ten, my cannula isn't bent. But it still ends up requiring me to replace a set. I took out my new set and cleaned with alcohol and popped in a new set.

Problem? Um.... I didn't wait for the alcohol to dry. Guess what... sticky doesn't stick when it's still wet from alcohol. And you know what that means? Another infusion site.

At this point it was infusion set number THREE for me.

I finally bolused and ate dinner.

And waited. My blood sugar wasn't coming down. It was going up, up, up! I tried bolusing again. And by the time it was time for me to go to bed, it was obvious that my blood sugar wasn't coming down. I took a chance on the fact that I had ANOTHER bad site and ripped out my third site and put in a fourth.

I bolused again and set my phone alarm to wake me up at 2 a.m. for a middle of the night test.
I was 170 at that point. I bolused again and when I woke up I was in the 140s.

I figured I had taken care of the problem. But I ended up running my insulin pump on 120% basal for most of the morning.

It's almost like my body revolted on me after the initial high. After lunch, everything went back to normal and I've been doing well since then.

What's annoying is that it took FOUR new infusion sites and a day and a half of insane bolusing to get my blood sugars back to where they should be.

So.... maybe fourth times a charm?

Diabetes and the Christmas Season

The Christmas season is upon us. There are so many things that come into play this time of year. Gift giving, card sending, baking, decorating, Christmas programs, family, travel, and a host of other things that, while not regulated to one time a year, rarely fall all at the same time of year.

It’s easy to let some things fall by the wayside when you’re dealing with all of these other things that seem to take precedence. One thing that seems to be an issue for many of us is caring for diabetes. I’ll be honest, after Diabetes Awareness month in November, being thrust directly into the Christmas season, I’m often burnt out this time of year. It’s understandable.

 

My work has a “December Days of Eating.” Really. That’s what we call it. Every work day of December that falls before Christmas, someone signs up to bring something to eat for the whole office. Most of the time it’s something terribly horrible for us all, but oh, so good. I have one co-worker that makes this amazing cheesy buttery French bread that I swear I look forward to all year long. Another loves to bring a cheese dip that includes sausage and salsa. Another is queen of desserts. I, myself, usually take something like cupcakes or cake.

I have Community Choir concerts, shopping for presents, addressing and mailing Christmas cards, dealing with family things (two Christmas dinners anyone?), and all the emotional baggage that comes with the holidays in general.

Add all of this together and I guess my question is, how do I keep things under some semblance of control? Anyone else have feelings like this? What do you do to keep yourself from going over the diabetes edge?

It seems like when Santa comes into camera view during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, my life goes insane until about the 3rd week of January. Help me (and whatever reader’s I may have) out. Give me some tips, or just share your own frustrations about this crazy time of year. I’ll thank you. I might even bake you a cupcake.

No Fun, No Fair

As most of you probably know, I'm a huge fan of live theatre. It's so wonderful to get to see a show, especially if it's one you've been wanting to see for a while. Today I went with a couple of friends of mine to see a show in Nashville. Nashville is about 2 1/2 hours from me, so it was basically an all day trip.

This morning I got up and it was full diabetes change time. Basically, new pump site and new CGMS sensor at the same time. This happens occasionally, and MOST of the time, nothing bad happens. I changed my site, changed my sensor, grabbed a granola bar and headed out. My blood sugar was around 126, so I wasn't worried about driving or about anything else d related.

I noticed about 2 hours into my trip that I wasn't feeling that great. I suspected my blood sugar was high. When I stopped to test, it was. Over 350. I kind of flipped out at this. I bolused a LOT. It gave the insulin and I continued the rest of my drive into Nashville, as we were supposed to be meeting another friend for lunch before our show.

When I got to the restaurant, I tested again and was over 400. At this point, I feel like crap AND I'm sure that it's my pump site. But HOW??? If I have a kink, I get a "no delivery" alarm. I hadn't gotten one!

I grabbed my spare infusion site and headed to the restroom to change it. When I pulled it out, it was MAJORLY bent. Like, almost all the way over. This SHOULD have given me a "no delivery" alarm. But it didn't. At this point, other than being sick, and annoyed, there isn't a whole lot I can do. I wasn't going to miss my show. I gave an injection, put in the new site and went out to wait on my friends.

My stomach was bothering me and I knew I wasn't going to be eating anything at all for lunch, but I was drinking a ton of water and one of my friends got the bread, while we waited on the other friend. It was a garlic cheese bread, which I normally love, but my stomach was such a mess it made me feel even sicker. My other friend showed up right about the time I realized I needed to RUN (read: sprint like a crazy person) to the bathroom when I proceeded to throw up. And up. And up.

It kind of freaked me out. I haven't EVER thrown up from a high blood sugar that I can remember. My mom says I got sick once as a kid, but I don't remember it (thankfully). I had a couple of choices. I could go home (which meant I was not only wasting a ticket to a show, but ruining it for my friend who road down with me). I could go to the hospital (but what are they going to do, really??). Or I could tough it out. Take some more insulin. Drink some more (a LOT more) water. And go see my show.

I will admit, I felt better after my trip to the bathroom. I drank water the entire time we were at the restaurant. I had a head ache, but it wasn't anything I couldn't deal with.

I am glad I chose to tough it out. I wasn't at 100% at all today, but I managed to do okay.

After my long drive home, I'm sitting here being thankful that it wasn't worse. Wondering why my "no delivery" alarm didn't go off. And wondering what to do about the ketones still floating around in my body (I checked them when I got home. They were between small & moderate) when my blood sugar is basically back in range.

I still have a headache. My throat hurts from throwing up. And I think diabetes is a pain in the rear. I HATE that diabetes almost ruined my day. I hate that I had to feel like crap all day. I hope a good night's sleep will solve all my problems. 

Also, I hope I NEVER have to throw up from a high blood sugar again. It is NOT fun. Throwing up in general isn't fun, but knowing it was the cause of diabetes made it that much worse.

Choices

Life is a series of choices. What shoes to wear, what to eat for lunch, what book to read next, what job to take, what to study in school, what extra curricular activity to pursue, and the list goes on. Some are minor decisions. Some are major. And some seem minor and turn out to be major.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been sticking close home. After traveling so much in the past couple of months, I like sticking close to home. But with that I've gotten lax about carrying around my "emergency d supplies" with me in my purse. It's the little case that has a complete site change, extra batteries, iv-3000 tape, insulin, and a variety of other things. I work 5 minutes from my house, and if I need to leave, it's never a big issue to run out and make it back to work in my 15 minutes I get for break. So lately, I've been leaving it at home.

This morning I got up to get ready for church and it was a complete site change day. Meaning: new CGM sensor site AND new insulin pump infusion site. I was running a little behind this morning because I knew I had to be a church early and I didn't get up early enough. It was my week to teach Sunday School. I put my new pump site and new CGMS, grabbed breakfast and took off for church. I bolused in the car (don't ask) and there was no problem.

My emergency d supply bag

When I got to church it was around 9:30. At 9:40 I got the dreaded "NO DELIVERY" alarm. My kids were coming into the classroom already and there was no way I could leave. I knew I'd had my bolus insulin...at least I thought I had. And I made a choice. I stayed at church. Even with no insulin being delivered, I stuck it out. I knew what would happen. By 11:00, my blood sugar was 273. When I got home at 12:30 it was 370.

I could have left, I'm sure. Tried to find someone to take my class for a while so I could sneak out. But I HATE when diabetes stops me from doing something. I hate having to say "diabetes is making life difficult." So I made the choice to stay. I felt it was easier to deal with the crappy feeling from the high blood sugars than it was to have to get help from someone to take my class while I went home to take care of my insulin pump.

The result of my decision

I know it probably wasn't the best decision that I could have made, but it would have been even better to have had my emergency set change with me. Sometimes we make choices that don't work out so well. I made the choice not to carry my emergency d supplies. I then made the choice to stay at church, and essentially go without insulin for nearly 3 hours.

This experience did teach me a lesson though... don't go without your emergency site change!!! Take it with you!

Happy/Sad

Lately my life has been in upheaval. I've been traveling a LOT since January and I was actually gone as much as I was home in July. It's not work related, and I've enjoyed myself greatly....but sometimes, no matter how hard we try, life and circumstance conspire against us.

Depression and anxiety are things that I've never been formally diagnosed with, but I know I've dealt with at many times in my life. Prayer, good friends and family, and counting my blessings most often help me out and the time passes, usually fairly quickly. In fact, I hadn't had an issue in a couple of years until a little over a month ago.

I recognized the signs of depression in myself after a couple of weeks. I've waited for it to pass and kept myself busy, but it's lingering a little longer than normal this time. It's not to say I don't have good days, or good times. I do. Many of them.

In fact, just this week I went to my endo appointment and found out that despite all my travel and instability, my A1c is back below 7 AND I've lost some weight (not much, but still). But on the flip side, I'm being put on cholesterol medicine again, after being off it for a couple of years.

I thoroughly enjoyed Roche Summit and had such a fabulous time while I was there. Just last weekend, I took a VERY quick day trip to New York that also filled me with happiness and joy.

But, I notice things. I'm more tired than normal. In the quite moments at home the helplessness and hopelessness sneaks in. I want to cry, but I can't find the energy or the time. There are times when I just want to crawl right out of my skin.

I know how blessed I am. I know how much I have to be thankful for. I'm blessed beyond measure. But sometimes it's more than a state of mind. My mind tells me one thing, and my emotions tell me something else.

My first plan to tackle this is to keep on praying. God has gotten me through so many things in my life and I know He won't let me down. Next up, I'm not going to isolate myself. By keeping in touch with my friends (both online and off), I am keeping myself both busy and happier. After that, I don't know. I'm hoping this, like my other experiences, passes quickly. But I do want to thank the D-OC for making me less afraid to seek professional help if I need it. Knowing that others have done it gives me the courage to know I can too, if I need it.

Mostly, I'd like to ask you to keep me in your prayers and to keep me accountable. Tweet me. Facebook me. Don't let me wallow, when I have so much else to be doing.

D-Blog Week: What They Should Know - Guest Post

My lovely friend Sherry, who has blogged for me before on my Your Voice project, was kind enough to submit another post to me on today's Diabetes Blog Week topic. As always, I am still accepting posts for the Your Voice project. And THANK YOU to Sherry who brightens my day more times than she probably realizes.

The grossly uninformed public! I think this is one of the hardest things for me in the management of my diabetes.  I can handle the highs, the lows, the shots, the constant, unrelenting vigilance that one has to put into managing this disease- and I do fairly well with this most of the time. My biggest wish is that people would understand this ONE BASIC CONCEPT: how to treat a low! 

 

But the one thing that can send me reeling is people.  Misinformed people.  They make me wild!

 

I love to square dance and do it most every night. This is, for me, 12 hours after the start of very busy days.  I work full time as a mother to a special needs child who can do nothing for himself.  He is almost as big as I am now, and it takes all I have to handle him on top of my Type 1.  By the time the dance begins at 7 p.m., I’ve already put in a long hard day full of lows and highs and all the other junk we put up with as PWD’s.  I’m also the line dance leader between the square dances, so I get no breaks.  It’s no wonder I crash so often at a dance.

 

Herein lies my worst diabetic problem…..people who don’t understand diabetes and deny me what I need because of their misinformation.

 

I was low and heading lower the other night at the dance so I slipped into the kitchen to grab a little snack.  I’d already treated the low but just needed a little something with fat in it to hold that number up for a while.  I chose a small cookie and proceeded to munch on it.  Enter the PERSON.  This person, who dances often with me, immediately began scolding and reprimanding me with the familiar litany we all hear so often “You’re diabetic. You aren’t supposed to have sugar. You better put that cookie down.  If you hadn’t eaten so much sugar in the first place, you wouldn’t be diabetic now.”  And so on.  Blah. Blah. Blah.

 

Being as low as I was at that moment, I didn’t respond.  I ate the cookie and went out to lead the next dance.  Thankfully, I was too low to be mad at the PERSON right then. 

 

Later that evening, when we were finished dancing, I decided it was time to talk to the PERSON.  I went over and asked for a few moments of her time.  This is what I said.  “While ago, you fussed at me for eating a cookie with sugar in it.  You said that diabetics should never have sugar.  I just want you to know that that is false information and it could possibly cost me my life!” 

 

She was silent for a moment, but then said, “Well, I know that diabetics aren’t supposed to eat sugar.”

 

Once again, I told her that that was false information.  Diabetics can eat anything in the world that anyone else can eat. To borrow a cute phrase I heard online once, I told her that there are two things that diabetics should NEVER eat.  Those are: poison and cookies made with poison. She looked stunned.  She then said, “Why did you say that thing about costing you your life?”

 

I told her that when my blood sugar drops so low, my body can’t fix it and I will pass out and possibly go into seizures and cardiac arrest.  I have to give myself some sugar to prevent that from happening.  My body lacks the ability to feed itself to keep from having these low blood sugars.  People without diabetes would never experience such a critical issue with blood sugar.   

 

She was curious, but still very defensive. I am with these people almost every night dancing, so it is so critical that they understand the basics of low blood sugars.  If this person had insisted on my not having something sweet, as she did another time when I was really low, it truly could have very serious consequences.  Thankfully, the other time this happened, there was a nurse at the dance that knew how to handle a low and took care of me while she gave a good lecture to this person.  Very thankfully…..because that time I was nearly incapable of helping myself.

It scares me so much to know that so few people understand the basics of this disease and have misconceptions like this that could potentially cost us our lives by denying us sugar to treat a low.  It really scares me to exercise two and a half hours every night with some of these folks!

This is the hardest thing of all about diabetes for me.  I wish folks would just understand the basics. 

Thanks again to Sherry for jumping in on Diabetes Blog Week and allowing me to share yet another piece she's written. And just a reminder, more posts on this topic can be found by clicking HERE.

D-Blog Week: What They Should Know

Day 5 of Diabetes Blog Week

Today let’s borrow a topic from a #dsma chat held last September. The tweet asked “What is one thing you would tell someone that doesn’t have diabetes about living with diabetes?”. Let’s do a little advocating and post what we wish people knew about diabetes. Have more than one thing you wish people knew? Go ahead and tell us everything.




There are so many things that I wish people knew about diabetes. I'd love for people to know that "curing" diabetes isn't as easy as eating healthy & exercising. I'd love people to know that I didn't ask for diabetes. I'd really love for people to understand that NO ONE asked for diabetes, regardless of their type of diabetes.

But mostly, I think I'd like people to understand how exhausting diabetes can be. Having diabetes is like having an infant and a hormonal teenager attacking your body at all times. Some days I'm just TIRED. While my blood sugar may get back into range after a low, my body doesn't recover as quickly.

After a low earlier this week, my blood sugar was back in range within half an hour. But my body was exhausted and I had a headache for most of the rest of that day. I wanted a nap and an aspirin. But I couldn't get either. Because even though diabetes attacks me, the world doesn't stop. I still had to work, go get my hair done, blog, and meet my family for dinner.

After a day of high blood sugars, it's much of the same. Exhausted. Sluggish. Sometimes I think my poor body just wants a break.

I don't like to talk about diabetes being difficult. I don't like to complain. I don't want people to think that my highs and lows are my fault. I don't like people to worry about me. But the fact remains that diabetes can keep you up nights, make you want to sleep during the day, make you feel like you've been run over by a truck, and make you not trust your own body.

So while the general public is blaming people with diabetes for bringing it on themselves, we are living with this every day. Do you think that if we could escape the constant annoyance and exhaustion that we wouldn't do it? Of course not. We'd do whatever we could to get rid of diabetes. If it were possible.

And while I agree that some diabetes (not mine) can be treated with diet and exercise, not all can be treated that way. No Type 1 can treat this way, and only SOME Type 2s can treat their diabetes by this method.

So take into account all the things that people with diabetes are living with and dealing with every single minute of every day and withhold judgement. NO one wants diabetes. No one.

Remember, you can read more blog posts on today's topic by clicking HERE.

MTV True Life - I Have Diabetes

Wow. I just spent the last hour watching a much anticipated episode of MTV True Life. Months ago (maybe even a year ago?), MTV put out a casting call for people living with diabetes. They made it sound....depressing. And very much T2 oriented. After many emails to MTV, they rewrote their casting call and made it more universal. And slightly less depressing.

Of course, none of us actually thought that they might get it right. I'm calling it a draw. Some stuff was a really frank look at life with diabetes. Other things, I feel, were grossly misrepresented.

The show centered around three young people. Kristyn had to move back in with her parents after her health care costs got out of control. From what I could tell, she probably didn't have insurance. Or not good insurance. She was working two full time jobs, getting very little sleep, and paying for a new insulin pump on a credit card because her old one died. I feel for the girl. I've been without insurance. I don't know that my body could handle two full time jobs. I need my sleep too much.

I feel for Kristyn. She seems like a sweet girl. But diabetes is an expensive disease. Like I tweeted during the show, diabetes is expensive with GOOD health insurance. Without it... it's nearly impossible to afford.

Jen was a young girl (19, if I remember correctly), who was pregnant. She said that she'd gone to the emergency room because she felt sick and found out she was pregnant and had T2 diabetes in the same day. Immediately I wondered (and tweeted) if she was really a T2. Some people who are slim do get T2 diabetes. But with someone as young as Jen, and with a pregnancy, shouldn't doctors have checked for T1 anti-bodies? I think so. Instead, this girl spent months on many different pills trying to control her diabetes during her pregnancy.

Her doctor seemed more into scare tactics than anything, telling her if her blood sugar was too high that her baby would die. Jen ended up on insulin before the end of the pregnancy and the baby had to be taken early because he was too large. Diabetes related? Maybe. But from what they showed and made it sound like, it could have just been that the baby was broad shouldered. A friend of mine had to have her son taken by c-section because he was large. There was no diabetes involved in this.

At the end of the show it stated that Jen's diagnosis had been changed from T2 to T1 because she was "no longer producing insulin." Um, sounds to be like the had a T1 (or LADA) patient that struggled through her whole pregnancy more than she ever would have had to have struggled than if they'd just diagnosed her correctly the first time.

Matt was a college student who liked to drink. It made it sound like that he (and all diabetics) weren't supposed to drink at all. It also made it sound like he never took care of himself. I do have to say, I think Matt had the most supportive people around him of all of the "cast". He had friends who worried about him. People who urged him to test while drinking. And a doctor that told him it was okay to drink, but to be careful and have people around him that new what to do if he was acting funny.

His A1c had apparently gone up to 8.something from a previous visit of 7.4. The doctor was honest that they wanted a 7. But I think that both those numbers are okay for a person in college. Sure you'd like better. But when they were talking about it, I expected him to go in and find out his A1c was 12.1 like mine was one time in college.

One thing that really bothered me about the Matt segments was that they only showed him check his blood sugar once and it was over 400. That's something that (obviously) isn't a norm for him, or his A1c would have been way higher. I think this kid might have gotten a slightly bad wrap. While I don't encourage binge drinking, or drinking all the time for ANYONE, I think that you can drink responsibly as a diabetic and do it in such a way that doesn't totally compromise your blood sugar levels.

If Matt spikes when he drinks, should he never drink? I don't think so. I spike when I eat pizza. It doesn't mean I NEVER eat pizza, just that I do it only occasionally and that I'm ready to bolus the heck out of it so that my blood sugar doesn't linger in the high areas.

Either way you go about it, they could have done way worse on this show. I hate that they showed only negative things, because there are so many positives that can happen with diabetes. But I'm glad that they didn't bring in people who were not taking care of themselves at all and/or had one food in the grave.

MTV could have done better....but they could have done worse.

I rate this show a C+.

You can read updates on MTV's website about how all three are doing now.

And I hope that Jen, Kristyn, and Matt find the D-OC. We can help! :)

A Million Little Things

A new year is upon us and I'm sad to say that in the past month I've been rather lax in keeping up with my diabetes blog. However, I have had a day today. A day I'd like to share with you.

For the past two days my blood sugar has been running almost perfectly. I've gotten high predictor and low predictor alarms, but I hadn't actually had a high or low alarm in almost 36 hours. I have NO idea how it happened, but it did. Perfection never really lasts though. I think we always know that.

This morning I got up and took off to work. I usually don't eat breakfast until I get to work so it wasn't until I got there that I realized that I'd used my last test strip for my morning test. Strike one.

Okay, with steady blood sugars for nearly two days, I figured that I could make it until lunch w/ my fairly accurate CGMS. I'm set, right?

Wrong. About two hours before I was set to go to lunch, my CGM 3 day time limit was up. Which means I needed another blood sugar test to recalibrate. Um...uh oh.

So, I think I'll try my best to tough it out until lunch. It's only 2 hours and Lord knows I've gone two hours without testing my blood sugar before. Two hours is nothing.

Except when about an hour before lunch I started to feel low. Uh, oh. I can't drive home to get strips, so I check for a juice box in my purse...only to find I don't have one. Crap.

I make my way to the next cubical and eat a couple of handfuls of my co-worker's skittles. And wait.

By the time I got home for lunch, I'd rebounded to almost 200. And I spent the rest of the day being exhausted from the low, and somewhat sluggish.

Now having strips or even having the juice box wouldn't have prevented the low, or the rebound. But having one little thing go wrong is bad enough, but when it's a million little things it ends up being an extra hour at work on a Friday night to make up for all the work I couldn't get done today.

Diabetes can be easy. For about 5 minutes at a time. Something always comes up. A high. A low. A missing juice box. A needed reset on CGM. Sometimes they all come up at the same time.
 
Today was one of those days.