M-I-C-K-E-Y

It's been a while since I've done a cake post for you guys. I'm not really in the mood to write a d-related post today, so I thought I'd bring you some of my "sweeter" and happier posts by posting pictures from my godson's 3rd birthday party, including the cake I made him.

This cake was one of my favorites that I've ever gotten to do!

I love Mickey! No matter how much I complain about MM Clubhouse. :)

As for the theme... let's just say I've seen enough episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that I can hotdog dance with the best of 'em. :)

I didn't make these, but aren't they cute?? 

He was a little freaked out with everyone singing to him. :)

Burn Out at the Perfect Time?

It's funny that last Wednesday was the official start to the You Can Do This Project. Why is it funny? Oh, well, it's funny because I just realized today that I'm smack dab in the middle of a new episode of diabetes burn out/depression. Honestly, I don't talk about it much because I don't consider it a huge deal in my life. Throughout college and up until a couple of years ago, I would have periods of mild depression that I dealt with every year. Almost like clockwork, sometime between January and March. I've never seen a therapist, so I can't say I've ever been diagnosed with depression, but you don't have to have someone tell you, once you figure out what it is. Usually with those episodes of depression came more pronounced episodes of diabetes burn out.

The past few years I've not really had to deal with it. I'm not sure why. Most of the time I didn't even realize that it didn't come until I was somewhere into summer and thought "Oh, I didn't get sad this year." The past several months for me have been crazy busy. I've been traveling a lot. There's been a lot going on with my job. I've been stressed. I won't lie. But, like a trooper, I've kept on going.

But these last couple of weeks I've just been tired. All the time. I've not been sleeping well. I've been fighting crazy highs and lows with my blood sugars (more highs than anything). It's become a vicious cycle. I'm not sure it the crazy stress and travel brought on the crazy blood sugars and then I got lax because I was tired of the crazy blood sugars. Or if I just got lax because of the crazy stress and travel, and that brought on the crazy blood sugars.

I notice that I'm not counting carbs as accurately. I'm not dosing insulin as accurately. I'm depending more on my CGMS than on actual blood sugar tests. I'm just tired. I've been going to bed crazy early for several nights this week. And then I can't sleep all way through the night. I want to do nothing but read all the time (this tends to be my escape). I don't want to do housework or go to the grocery store. And it's making me crazy.

While I sat in church tonight it hit me that I'm going through another time of depression. And what makes it so funny to me is that I just posted my own video for the You Can Do This Project. All about how diabetes is hard, but that we can get through it.

I thought about just doing what I always do: praying, reading blogs, writing in a journal, and waiting for it to pass. Because it always does. But this time, instead of writing in a journal I chose to put in on my blog. I did it in hopes that it will help me to get motivated. I know I can do this. It just feels like I can't or don't want to some days. Today is one of those days. Tomorrow might be too. But I know that it will pass because I have great support online and off. I don't like being sad. I don't like being burned out on my diabetes care. But it happens. And knowing that I have friends out there that deal with it as well, helps me get through the days.

If you're a prayer, remember me in your prayers. If not, just remember me. :) I'll be fine. I'm strong. For now, I'm off to watch another round of You Can Do This videos. Because if anyone has dealt with depression and burn out, it's the people in this community. I love you guys.

You Can Do This Video

Yesterday was the start to the You Can Do This Project. I finally got my video uploaded last night. First off I'd like to thank Kim for this wonderful idea. Secondly, I'd like to encourage you to go check out the other submissions to the You Can Do This Project.

And lastly, I'd also like to note some things that I didn't talk about in my video. We all deal with depression at one point or another for one reason or another. I've gone through the not testing and the high A1c's and the skipping injections like many others living with diabetes have also gone through. If you're having a hard time, don't hesitate to contact someone, anyone, in the diabetes online community. Many of us have our email address on our blog. There will always be someone around to talk to you and to let you talk.

How Diabetes Care is Like Bacon

If that title didn't catch the attention of the D-OC, I give up. :) Most of you probably realize how crazy we are about bacon in the D-OC. Bacon and cupcakes. And sprinkles. And Sprinkles. Anyway, bacon is kind of a fantastical food. Add it to almost anything and it gets better.

Sunday morning I was cooking breakfast. I typically don't cook bacon because it's messy and makes my house smell like bacon for days, but I had family in town and I wanted to be a good host and decided to cook up some bacon. While I was standing there, I realized that I didn't know how my cousin liked his bacon. Bacon is a curious food. Some people like it crisp. Some like it burned. Some like it floppy. Some like it chewy. Some like it somewhere in between. Everyone likes their bacon differently. It's still bacon. It still serves the same purpose no matter how it's cooked. But everyone likes it cooked differently.

There I stood when the phrase "your diabetes may vary" popped into my head. :) And I immediately changed it to "your bacon may vary." And just like bacon, everyone's diabetes care is a little different. Every has food effect them differently. Everyone likes a different A1c. Each person has a different medicine or regimen that they take to care for their diabetes. Some people are comfortable when their blood sugar is 170. Others want it lower. Basically, it varies. You have to do what's comfortable for you and your health care provider.

Your diabetes care is different than mine. Just like I'm guessing your like your bacon cooked differently from mine. So, remember that "your diabetes may vary" just like "your bacon may vary." I think it's important to remember in a large community like ours. We have to cheer on and encourage, while remembering not to hold everyone to the same standards that we hold ourselves.

Opting Out

Sometime between the last time I flew (around a year ago) and last week, Nashville airport got full body scanners. I know people have all sorts of issues with these scanners. People complain for many different reasons. To be honest, I don't really like the idea of them, but the way they effect me has more to do with my diabetes than with anything else. Truth be known, if it weren't for my insulin pump and cgm, I'd probably go through the full body scanners, even though I don't like the idea of them, just to speed things up.
But, sadly, Medtronic says NOT to take an insulin pump or cgm through a full body scanner. Here is the exact quote from their page:

•Medtronic has conducted official testing on the effects of the full body scanners at airports with Medtronic medical devices and have found that some scanners may include x-ray. To avoid removing your devices, you may request an alternative screening process. If you choose to go through an airport body scanner, you must remove your insulin pump and CGM (sensor and transmitter). Do not send your devices through the x-ray machine as an alternative.

So, even though I was running later than I like (let's not even talk about Nashville traffic during rush hour, okay?), I saw those scanners and immediately let the TSA agents know that I couldn't go through them. They asked if I was opting out. I said, yes, I was. But in a way, I don't feel like I was really opting out. I feel like I didn't have another choice.

I waited in the little clear box while they found a TSA agent to do the pat down. She was very nice, and I explained to her about what my insulin pump and CGM were and where my CGM was located (I have the fear of them touching it and then freaking out and making me do a strip search!!). She explained how she was going to do the pat down. It was over fairly quickly, but it was much more... thorough... than the last time I had to do a pat down.

Then they made me touch my pump and swabbed my hands for explosives (I've dealt with that before). And I was on my way. I don't know that I felt violated, per se. I mean, I didn't exactly enjoy it, but I didn't feel threatened or like I was sexually assaulted or anything. In fact, I didn't think a whole lot about the whole deal until I got home and my dad asked me about it.

I'm not saying that other people who have had horrible experiences are over reacting. Because the place that I see the most problems is in the inconsistency of how things like this are done. When I flew back, the other airport had regular metal detectors and I just walked right though and didn't even tell them about my pump or CGM. And if security is that different in different airports, you know that the way pat downs are done, depending on which TSA agent you get, are likely to vary just as much.

I guess I just wanted to share my experience. And my wish that I had another option. Besides the full body scanner OR a very "touchy" pat down.

We Have a Winner!

So, I did the whole "pull a winner out of the hat" thing for my give away. First, I went through and took out all the double entries and all the people who said they didn't want to be entered. Then I wrote down all the other names on slips of paper and folded them up. Then I mixed them all up in a plastic bowl.

Then I pulled out one.

And this is who we got:

Dr. P is a newly diagnosed person with diabetes who blogs at Being Black and Diagnosed with Diabetes.  She has only been a part of the "d club" since February of this year, so I think this is a nice little welcome gift. Go over and visit her blog and leave a comment. :)

Also, since there was no way to contact you on your blog, Dr. P, you will have to email me your contact info so I can get your Stick Me Designs bag in the mail to you. I hope you enjoy it!

Life for a Child Video

When I saw the exhibit on the discovery of insulin at the New York Historical Society back in October there was a short movie playing as part of the exhibit. I watched it all. The video was titled Life for a Child and was a look at what children in third world countries have to go through in order to get the very basic in diabetes care: insulin. It was moving, appalling, and touching.

Just the other day I got an e-mail that notified me that you can actually watch this film for FREE on Hulu by going HERE or that you can buy it ($9.99) or rent (3 day rental $2.99) it by visiting Amazon HERE. I've also put a the video (from Hulu) at the bottom of this post. I suggest you watch it if you haven't had the chance to do so yet. You may look differently at you own health and I can assure you that you will be thankful for whatever access to diabetes supplies that you may have.

The video is about half an hour long. Enjoy.



Also, tonight at midnight CST is the last chance to enter for a chance to win a FREE Stick Me Designs bag. Go to my post for more details. :)

You Can Do This

While I was out of town this week, Kim from Texting My Pancreas announced the launch of a project that I think is going to change lives. We all know that diabetes is hard to live with. No matter what type of diabetes you (or your loved one) had, it's never easy. Sure, there are good days. But there are bad days as well. And not matter the type of day, it NEVER goes away. The title of my blog says it all... it's Every Day, Every Hour, Every Minute.

But there is support, love, and strength to be found. These things make it easier. The fact that I know that I'm not alone.... that is priceless. And in order to let others know that they aren't alone, Kim launched the You Can Do This project. Record yourself. Share with others. You aren't alone and neither are they. All the details on the project can be found HERE. Who knows, your video may touch a life in ways that you could never imagine.

I'm in the process of getting my own video together and it will be up as soon as I can get it finished. Join us. Let this be a cry of hope for people who are newly diagnosed as well as for those who are burned out and frustrated. Diabetes may never leave, but neither does the support coming from those in the online community. Below is the launch video. I encourage you to watch (you might need some tissues).