Meet-Up?

Hey everyone. I'll be in the NYC area this coming weekend thru Martin Luther King Day. I have already contacted some people to let them know. If you live in the NYC area and would like to get together around 11 a.m. on Monday the 17th, you can leave me a message here, e-mail me, send me a tweet, or send me a message on facebook and I'll send you the info I have.

I look forward to seeing some of you!

You'd Think I'd Have Learned

What I felt like the other night.

I know we all do it. I know it happens to the best of us. But you can't tell me that you don't think "I can't believe I did that" when for getting something as basic as testing and bolusing before a meal.


At this point in my life I am VERY close to celebrating (?) my twenty-fifth year of living with diabetes. I live only a little over 4 years of my life without diabetes. I've been testing and bolusing (or giving injections) before meals for nearly all of my life.


Yet when I sat down to dinner the other night I just picked up my fork and started eating. The really bad part about the whole deal was that I had my sensor turned off (it had thrown a CAL ERROR) and I didn't even notice the signs of high blood sugar until nearly three hours later.


When it hit me what I had done (or not done as the case may be), I just wanted to scream. You'd think I'd have learned by now that I have to give myself insulin when I eat.

When New Year's Resolutions Go Bad:

Between lack of space, and not wanting a 2 year old messing with a Christmas tree... my roommate and I made the best use of what we had.

Enter: The Fat Girl Christmas Tree

You know your workout equiptment isn't getting used when you can wrap it in Christmas lights and hang stockings on it. :)

*Note the "big boy potty" potty in the background. We're working on that too.

Let's hope we have better luck with this year's New Year's Resolutions.

A Year's Blessings In Review

I have so many things to be thankful for. Family and friends who love me. A job that pays my bills. I am fairly healthy (excluding diabetes, of course). Overall, I don't have too much to complain about.

One area which I've never, ever been quite about being thankful for is being a member of the D-OC. This community is amazing. I know this isn't a surprise to any of you, but I wanted to point it out again. And mention just a few of the specific blessings that I received from the D-OC this year.

-I already posted about the awesome surprise I received from Colleen who blogs over at Meanderings. Such fun and so sweet!

-Because I didn't ask permission from the person, I won't mention a name, but when everyone was planning to go to Cali for the Ninjabetic Celebration, I was also trying to find a way to go. One of the members of the D-OC actually contacted me and offered me a place to stay if I needed, so I wouldn't have to pay hotel fees. It turned out that the plane ticket alone was way more than I could afford, but the thoughtfulness of this person meant more to me than they will every know (unless they read this blog post of course. ;) ).

-Then there is Brandi, who blogs at Wife, Mommy, Student but whom I know better from her Twitter account. She is a wonderful member of the D-OC and a sweetheart through and through. When I wrote a post about the price of my glucagon going up, she contacted me and sent me an extra glucagon pen that she had. She expected nothing in return and just did it to be help me out.

-Then, when my meter disappeared into the wild blue yonder, Karen (whom I feel so blessed to call my friend) over at Bitter-sweet Diabetes sent me an e-mail to let me know that she had a spare Ultra Link and offered to send to to me. While I could have gotten a prescription pretty easily, it saved me the co-pays that I would have undoubtedly had to have paid. AND when she sent the meter, she sent me this totally adorable cupcake that she knitted herself! Isn't she talented?

-Then, Kelly over at Diabetesaliciousness, had a great contest that gave away a set of PJs from PJs for the Cure. And I won! If you haven't checked these out, I highly recommend it. They are really well made and very comfortable. And if I had the money to buy a couple of more pairs of them, I would.

-Also, there have been e-mails, and facebook messages, and twitter messages this year that are too many to name. Messages that have given me hope when I was sad and made me laugh when I was frustrated, and made me feel like I have a whole 'nother family.

So, I say to you, D-OC, thank you for a year full of countless blessings. I look forward to 2011. :)

Questions With No Answers

During the peak holiday season, I always have a hard time controlling my blood sugar. It's too high, it's too low. I over correct, I under bolus. It's a never ending roller-coaster. But, usually, I manage to get back into the swing of things pretty quickly. And I have at least some decent blood sugar times.

Christmas Day and the two days after Christmas were a nightmare. I'm not sure how today is going to turn out yet. I'm hoping for a return to normal. But I have basically been chasing highs continually for the past 72 hours. After a daily insulin total of over 60 units (I usually take around 45) I'd had enough. Yesterday I turned my basal up to 120%. It helped. but still wasn't perfect.

The question is WHY?? Is it the lack of exercise due to being snowed in? The random snacking? Am I getting sick? I'm not sure. But I don't like it. I don't like not knowing. I hate being out of control (I'm a tiny bit of a control freak).

Regardless, I did a site change this morning and hopefully that will take care of everything. If not, I may lose my mind.

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

I’ve noticed that other people asked you for a cure for diabetes this year for Christmas. As much as I would like a cure for diabetes (this year or next), I’ll leave the curing up to God. Instead, I’m asking you for next year’s Christmas present right now.

It’s kind of technical and doesn’t really exist yet, so I figured I’d better give you and your elves plenty of time to get it together and perfected (and approved by the FDA, of course).

Santa, I’d like the perfect insulin pump/CGMS system. Yup, perfect. At least perfect for me. I have a great system, but there are other systems that have things that I like. So instead of switching systems, I just want you to invent your own.

Here are some of the things that I’d like the new pump/CGMS to include:

1.) Interchangeable CGMS. Santa, I’d like to have the option of which CGMS to use. I know that some CGMS works better for different people. So, I’d like the option to try them all and chose what was best for me…without having to change my pump

2.) I’d like the CGMS to read to my pump (like my current MiniMed system) complete with

alarms and warnings, but I’d also like it to read to a second PDM that is also my blood sugar meter. (kind of a mix between the Animas Ping and the PDM for the OmniPod).

3.) I’d like to be able to operate my insulin pump from the aforementioned PDM/meter in the even that I want to wear a dress and don’t have easy access to my insulin pump screen and buttons.

4.) I’d also like the sensor for the CGMS to be FDA approved for 7 days, instead of my current 3 day approval for MiniMed’s CGMS.

5.) I’d like the CGMS to be accurate more often than it is. Instead of a 70% – 75% accuracy, I’d like to see it up around 90%.

6.) I’d like the meter to be as accurate as blood testing in a lab. The “small” differences in readings can mean a big deal in accurate treatment of a low or a high. It would help to have more accurate readings so that my care could be better.

7.) I’d like the alarms on the pump and the PDM/meter to have adjustable volume levels. Sometimes my current system just isn’t loud enough when it’s under 3 blankets and I’m asleep. Having a separate PDM on the night stand might help, but also, having louder alarms would be great because it would wake me up much easier than my currently alarms on my CGMS/pump.

And Santa, I’m going to leave my comment section open so that my other friends in the D-OC can add in their own updates to make the perfect pump/CGMS system. We deserve perfect if for no other reason than we have to work so hard because our bodies aren’t perfect.

Thanks Santa!

Love,
Cara and the rest of the D-OC

Because I've Lost My Mind...

Because I've lost my mind...or perhaps hit my head on something and had the sense knocked OUT of me, instead of into me, I've started a second blog. Yes, I can hear the crickets in the room as you stare in silenced astonishment at this screen. I'll answer you're unasked question: Yes, I've gone crazy.

But I figured that most of my D-OC people don't exactly come to my blog looking for theatre news and reviews. So I figured I should start a second blog that will focus solely on theatre. If you happen to be one of the D-OC who also shares my love for theatre, you can check out my new blog (which is MAJORLY still under construction!) at Country Girl/Theatre Geek.

My first post is up and it's kind of a rant. But I hope you enjoy it anyhow.

Small Town Disadvantages

Most of you know I live in a really small town. The closest endo to me is almost an hour away. I travel over 2 hours to get to my current endo. In my town there are basically no specialists; only general practitioners.

Being in a small town can had it's advantages. But when it comes to having diabetes, it can be a huge disadvantage. I have heard from people in my town more times than I'd care to admit, being diagnosed with diabetes and being offered no follow up support at all. Mostly the "change your diet/take this pill/test once a day" stuff. That in and of itself is very frustrating for me. These people have no diabetes education whatsoever and are left with no answers and no questions to ask (because they don't even know WHAT to ask).

Several days ago I ran into a girl that I used to know when I was in school. She was diagnosed by a local doctor about 5 years ago as a diabetic. When I asked her what type she said that they told her she was type 1. And that they had first put her on Novolog 70/30. When she complained to her general practitioner that her blood sugars were all out of whack, instead of changing her medicine, he simply upped her dosage of 70/30.

Due to health reasons (among other things), she lost her job and hasn't been able to work because of wildly swinging blood sugars. She's frustrated and at the end of her rope. She finally went to a different doctor in a different town and that doctor was smart enough to get her on Lantus and Novolog and refer her to an endo. She's still waiting on her appointment now.

When I say that she was given no diabetes education, I mean NONE. She's on a sliding scale and has no idea how to count carbs. She's basically on an exchange system.

I tried to refer her to the D-OC, but she doesn't have internet and has very limited resources. I did suggest that she go to the public library and do some of her own research though.

This incompetance of medical professionals frustrates me to no end. I don't understand how or WHY a general practitioner wouldn't know that 70/30 insulin is not appropriate for a type 1 diabetic or refer them to some basic diabetes education classes.

How do we fix this problem? How do we get help to people in rural areas? I could teach her things like carb counting and insulin to carb ratios, but I'm not a medical professional. She needs more help than I could even begin to give her. I know there is a lack of diabetes education classes in my town. I know there's a lack of general knowledge by medical professionals in my town. But how do I fix it??

Christmas Beauty

There are so many things I love about this time of year. I love snow (when it doesn't interfere with my plans!). I love family gatherings. I love buying presents for people. I love giving and receiving Christmas cards. I love seeing children get excited about Santa and Christmas break.

Sure, there are totally annoying parts about Christmas, like feeling obligated to buy presents for people you don't know well or don't like, and dealing with the family drama that seems to come around the holidays when we are forced to spending time with family we don't normally see. There's the commercialization of the holidays that I think is a total travesty.

But overall, Christmas means so much to me. Christmas takes me back to the roots of my Christian faith. Christmas is the day that God sent His Son, my Saviour, into the world to be an eternal atonement for my sins. Christmas celebrates the start of a journey that would end in my ability to have a way to Heaven.

I think my favorite part of Christmas is the abundance of praise music that fills our ears. In all other times of the year, music that showers Him with praise is rare to hear in a secular world. But around Christmas, we hear songs like Jingle Bells and Santa Clause is Coming to Town...and right in between them, and on either side we hear O Holy Night, and Go Tell it on the Mountain. We hear Hark! The Herald Angles Sing and Silent Night.

Many people simply look at these songs at Christmas songs. I look at them for what they are: Praise. Praise to God. Praise to His Son. And a chance for me to sing praise music in public without people looking at me like I've lost my mind.

So in celebration of Christmas and the meaning I hold deep in my heart for my favorite holiday, I wanted to share my favorite Christmas song.

Driving Without a Map

When I first became interested in CGMS, my doctor at the time explained it to me in interesting terms. He said that testing your blood sugar gives you a picture of that exact moment in time. The down side is that you are unsure if your blood sugar is rising or falling. He said, "You wouldn't drive a car if you only saw pictures of the road, right?"

CGMS has been very good for me and my diabetes care. So much so that I fought insurance for it, I've dealt with the "negatives" of CGMS (i.e. long needles, some inaccuracy, extra expense), and in doing those things, I fully believe I have much better control over my diabetes.

Since starting CGMS, I've not gone more than a day or two without CGMS. I don't like to be without it. In a sense, I've become dependant on the knowledge it provides me. I've gotten used to listening for "high" and "low" alarms.

In the past couple of weeks I notice something... I screwed up and forgot to reorder sensors. I notice when I pulled my next to last one out of the box. Of course, I immediately called to reorder, but once again insurance had to give an approval. I thought it had been taken care of last go around, but apparently the approval that the insurance gave last time was for a one time order. So, approval had to be sought again.

Since I get about a week out of a sensor, I wasn't too worried about it, but I ended up not hearing anything about my approval from MiniMed or the insurance. My second to last sensor was due to come out last weekend. The timing was really kind of perfect. I was sick. And while that would seem like a bad time to be without a sensor, it really isn't. I find that the medicine usually makes the accuracy even worse than normal. And when I'm sick my blood sugar runs a little high anyway, so I don't have to worry about those pesky lows.

Luckily, as I'm getting better, I contacted MiniMed and found out that they shipped my order of sensors on Friday and they should be arriving today. I'll be putting my last sensor in this morning and I'll be feeling much better knowing that I have more than random snapshots of my blood sugar levels. I'll have a map to help me out.

New Patient

I have had the same General Practitioner for the past 15 or so years. I loved him. I rarely went in because I'm rarely sick, but he's been straight with me every time I've needed him to be. I credit him with me getting my diabetes life back in order.

December 1st his office closed. He has moved into a different kind of care and is no longer going to have an office. I didn't think a whole lot about it because I figured I'd go pick up my records and switch doctors sometime after the new year.

I'm never sick. I've not had more than a cold in almost 3 years. But this weekend I got hit hard. Bronchitis and a fever got me. I knew I needed to see a doctor, so I went into work for long enough to reschedule my appointments at work and started calling around town.

Every single office that I called said the same thing: It would be 1 to 2 weeks for a new patient. I'm sick. I need care now.

On my insurance, my ER co-pay is $75 and the closest walk-in or urgent care clinic is almost an hour away and it was snowing all day. So I opted to call the new doctor in town. I really didn't want to go to him (for reasons I won't discuss online) but I was desperate.

Anyway, I went in and ended up with a shot and some anti-biotics. I'm already feeling better, though still not great. And let me tell you, shots HURT! My hip is still sore. And despite the fact that I have good health insurance, the office requires all new patients to pay $50. I don't pay co-pays. I only pay 20%. But yet I had to pay $50 upfront.

My annoyance with the day, however, is that no one would see me without a wait time of several weeks. I wasn't sick enough to go to the emergency room. I'm not a "doctor hopper". I wasn't wanting pain pills or other narcotics. But everyone said "one to two weeks".

How is that fair to people who are honestly sick? People like me, who's PCP has left town or the office has closed. Or people who are new to an area and haven't had a chance to get a new doctor yet? How is that good medical care?

The End.

Okay, not the end of my blog... but the end of NaBloPoMo. :) I only missed one day. I'm a little sad about that, but overall, I'm proud of myself for sticking to it, even after the missed day.

But, now that the month of November is over, I plan on taking a day or two off. Maybe even til Monday! Ekk.

I hope everyone else had fun this month. I know I did!

Oh, and welcome to the Christmas season. :) If you want a Christmas card, e-mail me your address. Cards will be going out later this week.

Music Monday: Thanksgiving Parade

My favorite part of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade every year is the performances from the shows on Broadway. This year, my current favorite show, American Idiot, performed "Good Riddance" which is the song they do during the encore of the show. Here's a YouTube clip... enjoy!

Wasted?

Have you ever put anything off just simply for the sake of putting it off? I was supposed to have a doctor’s appointment on Monday. I decided to reschedule it. My excuse: work. And while it is partly true that have a ton of deadlines to meet before Tuesday, it was mostly an excuse (a good one, but still an excuse) to put off my doctors appointment for a little while longer.

There are several reasons for this. I should have gone 6 months ago to get another eye exam. I didn’t. I had talked with my nutritionist about upping my exercise. I’ve actually stopped it all together. I wanted to work on my eating habits to try to get some weight off. I’ve gained a few pounds.

Basically, I know there are things I need to get on top of. I know there are things that I need to take personal responsibility for. And I’ve not done them. And while I’m sure my A1c hasn’t risen much, if at all, I still feel like the other areas that I needed to touch on have completely been neglected. And I feel guilty. I feel like I need to do something about it. Get back on track before I go back to the doctor.

If I don’t, isn’t it just a wasted appointment? I think so. I mean, I’ve done nothing different since my last appointment. I don’t need any major change on my insulin rates. My blood sugars are running about the same. So the only things I needed to do or work on, I’ve not done or worked on. Which in my mind equals a wasted appointment.

While the holidays are the ideal time to try to get all this stuff done or taken care of, I am going to try my hardest to get it started anyway. If I can attempt some of these things then I feel like I will have done something positive since my last appointment. And I won’t feel like I’m wasting time and money.

Hide and Seek

It has been a while since I lost a blood sugar meter. In the almost 25 years since I was diagnosed, I can count on my hands the number of times that I lost and meter. Most of the times it was either when I was a child (I once lay one down in a Sears store...we never saw it again), or when I wasn't taking care of my diabetes the way that I should (i.e. going weeks without testing). Since I started checking my blood sugar 8 to 12 times a day the most I've done is misplace it for a little while, or leave it at home and go to work (which isn't far).

But today I think I've finally done it. I had to change my sensor and infusion site this morning. I had to use my meter for that. My open insulin is in the meter case. After I finished changing everything, the only thing I did was take the garbage to the dump.

When I got back I started looking for my meter. I was hungry, my CGMS just beeped that it needed to be calibrated, and I was ready to have lunch. But I couldn't find it. I looked in the bathroom (where I keep the majority of my diabetes supplies and change my sites, sensors, etc.). It wasn't there. That is actually the last place I remember seeing it. I turned my purse upside down. Not there. I checked in my bedroom, under my covers, under my bed, in my closet, on top of my dresser...nothing.

I moved onto the living room and kitchen. By the stove, on my computer desk, on the bookshelf that sits by my front door, on my baker's rack, behind my roommate's son's toy box, under the couch, under the recliner....still nothing. Then I checked them all again. I even looked in the washer (I'd thrown my sheets in the washer earlier). Nothing.

Then my roommate checked her room (why it would be there, neither of us knew. But we checked anyway). Nothing. Then I checked them all again. And again.

By this time, I am getting very, very frustrated. I'm hungry. Cranky. And unsure what my blood sugar is because my new sensor had yet to be calibrated.

Then my lightbulb came on... I had an extra OneTouch Mini. I'll just use that to calibrate and eat and then resume the search for my OneTouch Ultra Link. I went to my closet, where all my extra meters, and pump boxes are...and then I remembered that I had given the OneTouch Mini away, along with a box of strips, to someone who didn't have insurance or a meter.

Crap. Okay. I'm still hungry. I still need to calibrate. Ug. So, I ran to the local drug store and bought another OneTouch Mini. Something to last me until I can find the magical disappearing OneTouch Ultra Link.

When I got back home with the new OneTouch Mini, all I could do is try to stay calm and that God that I live in a day in age when I can get a meter without a prescription. And that I can purchase one for less than $100. I remember life when you had to have a prescription. And they were still majorly expensive. But even in my thankfulness, I still am annoyed. My other meter has an almost new bottle of insulin in it, my Accu Check Multiclix poker, and my really awesome button that says "Wouldn't it be great if life were a giant musical?".

So, what to do? I'm hoping that it just shows up in some totally random place. There is a very, very slim chance that I took it out with the trash (either it fell off the kitchen counter into the trash, or the 2 year old threw it in the trash and we didn't notice). Its unlikely, but the only option, unless it shows up somewhere else.

Right now, I've eaten lunch. I have a meter that works (though it isn't my first choice), and I'm going to try to take a break from searching. Cause they say you always find something when you aren't looking, right? I figure I'll give it a week, max, and then I'll ask my doctor to write me a new prescription for another OneTouch Ultra Link and an Accu-Check Multiclix. As for the musical button...I'll have to reorder that one myself. Sigh.

Black Friday....

I hope you all survived it. :)

Happy Thanksgiving

From my family to yours.... Happy Thanksgiving.

Diabetes Blessings

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the States. This is one of my favorite holidays of the year. I get 2 days off, AND I get to spending it eating ginormous amounts of food and watching the Macy's Day Parade on TV. :)

But this week, thanks to Mike from My Diabetic Heart, it is also Diabetes Blessings Week. It is a wonderful idea in which we remind ourselves of the good things that diabetes has brought into our lives.

It can be easy to only think about the bad things that come with having a chronic illness. But sometimes, we have to remind ourselves that there is an up side to everything. And blessings, even in the storm.

One of the things that I am the most thankful for is the D-OC. Not only have I been blessed with friends that understand and live with the same illness that I live with, I've also been introduced to people whom I would consider friends even if we didn't share the common bond of diabetes.

I've met people who share my same interests, my same hobbies, and in one case, even my same birthday (Hi Karen!).

These people, that I consider friends, I would have never had the chance to meet if it weren't for diabetes. That is probably my biggest diabetes blessing.

But diabetes has blessed me in other ways as well. I have learned discipline. I've learned patience. I've learned to plan ahead. I've learned to always be prepared. I've learned about the kindness of strangers. I've learned to be kind to strangers. I've learned compassion. I've learned to eat healthier. I've learned the need to have regular check-ups. I've learned the importance of tooth and eye care.

Diabetes has some amazing blessings in the middle of all of the bad stuff it hands us. And I, for one, am thankful that I can and DO see the blessings that diabetes has brought into my life.

Opinions Wanted

In the D-OC, it has become easy to see that the Dexcom seems to be the CGM system of choice. I have the MiniMed system. When I first picked my pump, CGMS was so new that there wasn't even an integrated system yet. But it was coming. Within a few months it was to be released, so I went with it immediately in hopes that I'd be one of the first on CGMS. And I was lucky. Not only was I one of the first to be on MiniMed CGMS, MiniMed was extremely helpful in navigating the insurance system and I was approved the first time through (extremely rare at the time...and even now).

From the very beginning I have had good experience with my MiniMed CGMS. Each time the insurance had demanded reverification, MiniMed has been right on top of things. I have had great customer service experience with them.

On top of that, MiniMed CGMS has even saved my life a couple of times. I never had the various problems with the accuracy that most people have. Occasionally, I'll have a crappy sensor, but no where near as often as I've heard some people talk about. My accuracy is fairly good for the most part. Not perfect, but what CGMS system does?

My problems, for the most part, have been minor. I'd prefer louder alarms (for nighttime). And I wanted more predictor alarms. That's why, when I was searching for a new pump, and I found out about the Revel from MiniMed, I went with that one right away.

But then I was disappointed in the new system for alarming. I wrote a pretty detailed post when I had a scary night. With the changes in the alarming, the insulin pump didn't wake me up for WAY too long.

While I'm still pretty satisfied with the overall accuracy, and I don't have site problems (i.e. irritation, infection, etc.) for the most part, I have begun to wonder about the Dex and some of the benefits in changing systems.

This is where I need help. I need some of my fellow D-OC members to help me answer some questions. To see if its worth the time and effort (and fighting the insurance company) to try to get a new system. I don't want to leave what I know is okay, if I'm not going to get way better. Does that make sense?

1.) Do the sensor and the receiver loose contact with each other often? I have noticed that if I don't wear my sensor and pump on the same side of my body, it will lose contact. Also, what about under covers at night. I often sleep with 2 or 3 blankets. Will this be an issue with the sensor and receiver communicating (I wear my CGMS on my upper thigh currently, so it would be completely covered up).

2.) Does the Dex give prediction alerts. i.e. Do you get alerts for rapidly rising or falling blood sugars, and do you get alerts when you are approaching your high or low limits (the MiniMed does this on the Revel).

3.) What happens if you don't turn the receiver off after an alert? Does it keep beeping? Does it beep louder? Does it vibrate?

4.) Do you have problems with leaving it places? One of the reasons I liked the MiniMed system so much is that its integrated and there's no chance of me leaving it somewhere. I tend to be a forgetful person. Not always. But I have been known to run off and leave my meter or my cell phone at home occasionally.

5.) How is the accuracy? If you've used both the MiniMed and the Dex, which do you find is more accurate? If you've only used Dex, are you satisfied with the accuracy?

6.) How difficult was it to get approved? Insurance. Can't live with it, can't live without it. :/

NaBloPoMo #FAIL

Yup. I failed. Its official. I forgot to post yesterday. You know when I remembered? At about 12:30 a.m. when I woke up from a dead sleep. If it hadn't been after midnight I probably would have gotten up and posted something. Anything. Cause I really, really hate to fail at stuff that I've said I'll do.

Sigh.

Oh well, I'll do all the rest of the days this month and I guess I can feel good that I only missed one day, right?

Better luck next year I guess.