Just Because...

Just because we blog about diabetes, doesn't mean we have it all under control.

Just because we don't share with you about a horrible "high" or "low" or "rollercoaster" day, doesn't mean that it doesn't happen sometimes.

Just because we brush off a comment made about how "bad" our diabetes is, doesn't mean that living with diabetes isn't bad.

Just because we act like we feel fine, doesn't mean we do.

Just because we eat what we want, doesn't mean that we eat what we want all the time.

Just because we work a job, doesn't mean that diabetes doesn't get in the way sometimes.

Just because we have healthy babies, doesn't mean it was easy.

Just because we live mostly complication free, doesn't mean that we didn't work hard for it.

Just because we are an "advocate," doesn't mean we are invincible.

Just because we prepare for everything, doesn't mean we're always prepared.

Just because we act brave, doesn't mean we're never scared.

And just because we do everything "right" doesn't mean that bad things don't happen. Sometimes with no explanation at all.

Yesterday, the world lost another child to diabetes. This one didn't leave this world because her parents withheld insulin, or because she didn't properly take care of herself. Eilish left this world, and her loving family, at 13 years old because of "dead-in-bed" syndrome. It's when you do everything right, and it just isn't enough. She went to bed happy and healthy. And didn't wake up in the morning.

This one hits closer to home than any other diabetes related death that I've ever dealt with. Not because I knew Eilish, or her family. But because this wasn't a case of neglect or a mistake. This was a case of total chance. The worst case scenario of a high or low that can't be explained.

For Eilish, and the mother, father, and sister she has left behind, I send my prayers and thoughts. For everyone else I say hug your family and friends. Tell them you love them. Live life to the fullest. Take chances. Play safe. And remember that life isn't when it starts or ends....it's what you do in the middle that makes all the difference.

Diabetes & My Christian Faith

I've been a Christian since I was 10 years old. Not to say I've always lived my life the way that Christ would have liked me to, but I accepted Him as my Savior shortly before my 11th birthday. He's been a constant in my life, even when I tried to avoid Him.

Another constant in my life has been diabetes. I've actually had diabetes longer than I've been a Christian. Wow. I don't think I ever thought about that until I was typing that sentence.


Seeing as how these two aspects of my life have been in my life longer than almost anything else, you'd think I'd come to terms with both of them.


And I have. But I've always had a problem dealing with them and how they relate to each other. I've never blogged about my thoughts on the "healing" crap that gets passed around by all the "miracle cure" people. But I've commented on several of the blogs by those who have voiced their opinions.


I fully believe that my Jesus died for my sins and that He took stripes for my healing:


- 1 Peter 2:24 Who His own self bare our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.


-Isaiah 53:5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed.


Those verses alone tell me that He can heal me. His decision to do so is up to Him. I am faithful and will do what needs to be done. If I get my healing here on Earth... FANTASTIC! If I don't get it until Heaven, I still get it and will be thankful in eternity for His healing.


I do believe that He's had a hand in my life with diabetes. In regards to complications... I have very few. I've been living with diabetes for almost 25 years. My care wasn't always the best. A large majority of my childhood and my young adult life (up through college) I took minimal care of myself at best. When I look at the state of my body after all of that, I can see His hand on my life.


In spite of all of this, I've always had a hard time relating my diabetes life and my Christian walk. I know they are intertwined, but I've always had a hard time putting the two together in my head. Too many people have asked (maybe not directly, but still...) "What are you doing wrong, that you've not gotten your healing? Do you not have enough faith?" While I know those statements are absurd, I've always found it easier to keep diabetes and church.... separate, for the most part. Easier on me. Easier on my brain.


Not long ago I found out that the New York Historical Society was going to be having an exhibition called Breakthrough: The Dramatic Story of the Discovery of Insulin. This looking incredibly interesting to me. But as you all know, I don't live in New York. And my yearly trip usually occurs in May. This exhibit is set to close long before May.


I had nearly resigned myself to missing yet ANOTHER thing in New York (and asking myself AGAIN why I don't actually live there...) when my roommate suggested we take a very quick weekend trip to the city. And by very quick I mean less than 24 hours, sleeping on a friends floor and turning around and driving back. She wanted to see a show again (I won't lie... I wanted to see this show again myself) and she had to go to Maryland that weekend anyway. By the time you get to Maryland, you're more than halfway to NYC anyway.... so we went.


It required me to survive for 3 days on very little sleep, and to take a day off work, but we went to New York. Both of us went to see the show, she went to spend the morning at Comic Con, and I spent the morning at the New York Historical Society after a VERY quick breakfast with Allison.


Just a side note: all of my NYC friends, I didn't really tell anyone I was coming because I knew I wouldn't have time to visit with anyone. No worries though, I'm coming back in the late spring....this time for and entire week!


Going to the NYHS exhibit by myself was one of the best things I think I have ever done. And just so you know, God speaks to people in all kinds of places and in all kinds of situations. He most recently spoke to me on a Sunday morning in New York City while I looked at one of the most touching, wonderful historic exhibits that I've ever seen.


All around the exhibit is the evidence of life. My life. As few as 85 years ago, diabetes was a death sentence. If insulin had not been discovered, I wouldn't be alive right now. Had I been born in another century, I wouldn't be alive right now. That's a scary thought.


There are letters and log books and insulin bottles from the very beginning of insulin production through current types. There are pictures of children, nearly wasted away before they received the life saving serum, and after pictures showing healthy happy children. Children that you wouldn't even know were sick just by looking.


There were so many things that I couldn't begin to tell them all to you. But around one corner was a quote, written on a wall. This quote was by Elliott Joslin.


"By the Christmas of 1922 I had witnessed so many near resurrections that I realized I was seeing enacted before my eyes Ezekiel's vision of the valley of dry bones."


Wow. For those of you who aren't familiar with the story, it is found in Ezekiel chapter 37. Ezekiel, a prophet of God was given a vision by God.


Verse 1: The hand of the Lord was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones,


Verse 2: And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry.


Verse 3: And He said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest.


Verse 4: Again He said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the Lord.


Verse 7: So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the ones came together, bone to his bone.


Verse 8: And when I beheld, lo, the sinews and the flesh came up upon them, and the skin covered them above: but there was no breath in them.


Verse 10: So I prophesied as He commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army.


Although I've been familiar with this story for years (it's a favorite of my Pastor's), I stood and looked at that wall, with Dr. Joslin's quote, and realized that God was showing me something. He was showing me His hand in my diabetes. I was moved. I think I stood there for about 10 minutes, quietly staring, and praying. Thanking God for His hand on my life.


I knew my time was limited, so I continued on. Looking at pictures. Reading letters from patients that were sent to both Banting and Best (the scientists who helped discover insulin), and letters that were written to Dr. Elliott P. Joslin.


In one particular letter, written by a young adult who had received insulin and was living life quite well, there was another moment for me. I didn't write down the quote. I'm now wishing I had, but I can give it to you almost exactly. I don't think I'll ever forget it. The letter starts off telling Dr. Joslin of his good quality of life and thanks him for his help. Then, toward the bottom of the letter, the young man wrote "The persons who discovered insulit* should be thanked as they are following in the footsteps of the One who gives life more abundantly." Insulit was one of the early names/types of insulin.


John 10:10 has always been the verse I use to those who tell me that God gave me diabetes. I don't believe that. I never will. The verse reads: "The thief cometh not but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."


I can assure you that diabetes kills, steals and destroys. Therefore it cannot come from the One who give life more abundant.


When I read that reference to one of my favorite verses in scripture, I cried. I stood in the New York Historical Society building and cried. I cried tears of pain and of joy. Pain at what I, and every other person that lives with diabetes, deals with on a daily basis. Tears of joy for the message that God sent me "I am here. Even in the diabetes. I am as much a part of your diabetes as I am of you." And I cried tears of thanks that God used men to create something that has saved millions of lives.


When I left, I called my mother and cried again as I told her what I'd read, and what I heard from Him.


I know insulin is not a cure. I pray for a true cure on a regular basis. But until a cure, I thank God for insulin and the treatments that have allowed me to live a semi-normal life.


If you have a chance to visit this exhibit, please do. It is worth it. You may not get what I got out of it. I wouldn't expect you to. But I can assure you that you will not be disappointed. The historical significance and the items that are included are very interesting. It's worth it.

Sweet Fun

Cupcakes. :) Spaghetti cupcakes. With strawberry jam "sauce" and Ferrero Roche chocolate "meatballs" and white chocolate "Parmesan cheese".

Bumblebee from Transformers

John Deer with the help of my totally awesome roommate who cut out the deer and the letters. :)

Wonderful People

Over and over again it's been shown how diabetes has a huge emotional effect on those affected. It's also been noted that the emotional aspect of diabetes is often overlooked. Diabetes can be a lonely, frustrating disease at times.
But some of us have been lucky enough to stumble upon, and join the online community. Yesterday Kelly posted a wonderful blog about not being alone in our lives with diabetes.
And right she is. As frustrating as our lives can be, this online community has pulled us together and given us support when we feel like our lives our completely out of control, whether related to diabetes or not.
That support and strength even comes off line, IRL as well. Meet-ups have made my life wonderful. I have friends that I'd never have met if it weren't for diabetes. So, in a way, I have to thank diabetes for that wonderful gift.
A perfect example of our online community coming offline to support a member happened this past weekend. George celebrated his 20th dia-versary AND did a JDRF Walk on the same day! As much as I wished I could have been there, I wasn't able to go. But George did have a wonderful support group. People from our online community came from all over the country to visit with George and celebrate with him. It just goes to show you how much one person can effect those around him.
And in order to include those of us who could be there, George requested pictures to make THIS beautiful slide show and performed his beautiful song live while showing it during the party he threw after the walk.
This type of support is why I stay around this online community. In an online world where we are continually robbed of our words, it can be disheartening to say the least. There have been times when I wanted to just stop blogging altogether. But I can't leave this support. I can't leave this community. I can't leave these wonderful people I've met, both online and in real life.
So remember to thank God for the blessings He's given you. This community is right at the top of my list in terms of thankfulness.

Kiddos

Okay, I know several of you have children out there. I also know that several of you have children around you. I have a question... is it normal for a two year old to be obsessed with me checking my blood sugar??

One of my closest friends and my godson have recently moved in with me. He just turned 2 in July. He doesn't have a lot of vocabulary yet, but I have noticed that every single time I get out my meter to check my blood sugar, he stops whatever he's doing and rushes to watch me. He stands in front of me and stares. And the last time he watched me, he stuck a finger out for me.

I had to laugh. But I told him he didn't want me to do that to him.

But, is it normal? Since I started taking majorly good care of myself and since I started insulin pumping, I haven't been around a lot of young children. I've had children that are around 5 or 6 ask me questions (that's the age I teach Sunday School), but never had a child as young as my godson watching me like he does.

So, that's my question? Does it happen a lot with you guys?

Houston...We Have a Problem

Before I went to bed last night, I had to change my pump site. I didn't have enough insulin to make it through the night, and I knew it. I don't like to change my site before bed. Too many things can go wrong. So I changed the site at around 8:30. After that, I didn't eat anything, but I did a couple of small boluses. I was chasing a high from earlier in the day. Both boluses went through, no problems. Usually, if I have a "No Delivery" message, it happens when I giving a bolus. Actually, I've never NOT had it happen then. Since my boluses had gone through, no problems, I went to sleep with the comfort that all was okay.

Fast forward to 2:30 this morning.

My pump was buzzing. I usually don't hear the beeps (I'm a hard sleeper), so it wasn't much of a surprise that the vibrations were what it took to wake me up. I looked down and low and behold, there was a "No Delivery" message. And immediately I knew it was right. My mouth felt like cotton, my head hurt, I felt like I had walked across the desert and was in desperate need of a drink...and a trip to the bathroom.



I got up, turned on the light and began to gather my items for a site change. I didn't even bother checking for ketones when I went to the bathroom. A quick blood sugar test showed my blood sugar was 387. I knew I had ketones. Didn't need that little stick to tell me.



What bothered me, first off, was that there was no kink in my cannula. I took a picture to prove it.





The second thing that bothered me...well, I probably wouldn't have noticed it if it weren't for my CGMS. I noticed, on my screen, that I'd been VERY high for a long time. Several hours. Why hadn't I heard (or felt) my CGMS telling me that?

So, then I went on to check my Alarm History. It showed that the first "No Delivery" alert came at 11:46. Another at 1:28. And the last, the one I finally heard/felt at 2:24.

Onto my Sensor Alerts. It showed a high been at 11:10 (before the first "No Delivery") and then there wasn't another until 2:12. I'm confused. Why wasn't there one in between. That's two hours between them. My CGMS is set to alert every hour. Was it the fact that the "No Delivery" was probably up on my screen? Did that "trump" the other alerts? I'm confused.

I'm even more confused (and sad) at the way this new Revel pump alerts to nighttime lows and highs. During the day, I hear my beeps. There are no problems. I LOVE the fact that it give high and low predictions and that it notifies when you are quickly falling or rising. These were the main reasons that I upgraded to the Revel from my MiniMed 722. Knowing what's happening before I hit my high and low markers can help me a lot in keeping myself in range. I know that.

But, and this is a big but that has had me contemplating switching back to the 722, the alert system is not that great for when I'm asleep. And that's a MAJOR reason that I need those alerts. I'm an adult. Until recently, I was living alone. I need those alerts. On the old 722, if you didn't turn your beep off, it would wait a minute or so and beep again. After about 5 minutes of that, it would switch to the continual beep (without a break, so that it was more like a siren), and then, if you still didn't get it, it would start to vibrate. And continue to do so until you turned it off.

That saved my life a couple of times with lows. But, with the new Revel, the vibrations don't work that way. It vibrates for about 5 seconds and then stops and doesn't do it again for a while. I'm not sure how long. Maybe around 5 minutes.

That causes a major problem for people like me who need something to pull us out of a deep sleep. The constant vibration always woke me up. I'm usually laying on my pump (sadly), which is a major part of the reason I can't hear the beeps anyway. And if that constant vibrations isn't there....well you get what I got last night. Or worse. What if it'd been a low, instead of a high? I could have gone into a seizure or anything.

Or, what if I hadn't felt that last vibration at 2:30 this morning. What would another 3.5 hours of no insulin done to me? That would have been a total of 7 hours without insulin. As it was, I went 3 hours without insulin, and who knows how long before that without adequate insulin (before the "No Delivery" was triggered).

This morning, I did check my ketones when I got up. Only "trace," thank goodness. My blood sugar was sill 217. More boluses. More water to drink. More trips to the bathroom to make.

Yet I can't help but think about how this could have gone differently (better or worse). And both bother me. So, this is my message to Medtronic:

Fix this problem!

I love MiniMed too much to just walk away from it. Besides, how would I know if anything else was better without trying it first? The point is, I love MiniMed. And I know that this is just a choice they made when designing the new Revel. But I'm telling them it was the WRONG choice. And they need to figure out a way to fix it. Because someone's life could be hanging in the balance.

Coming Soon...

Coming tonight... to a television near you! :)

Friday Meme!

Apparently this week is Invisible Illness Week. I found this meme over on Karen's blog and thought I'd "steal" it. :) I hope you enjoy.

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know



1. The illness I live with is: Type 1 Diabetes

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 1986.

3. But I had symptoms since: at least a few months before my diagnosis.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: realizing that I'm not alone in this (the D-OC helped a BUNCH!!)

5. Most people assume: I can’t eat anything with sugar in it.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: dealing with my crazy after breakfast blood sugar spikes.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: I don't know that I have one. I like House okay I guess...

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my insulin

9. The hardest part about nights are: the (sometimes) constant alarms on my CGMS.

10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. currently none. I should be taking some vitamins....but I'm lazy

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: think they are a load of __________.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I like the fac that people can know me before they make a judgement based on my diabetes.

13. Regarding working and career: I do what I can in order to keep decent health insurance. What I want to do is impossible because I can't afford/get health care on my own.

14. People would be surprised to know: that I worry about the future more than I verbalize to anyone.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: It's always been around (since I was 4), so it's not really a "new" reality.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: I was never given any restrictions, per se, so there's nothing I've done (yet) that I think would be a problem with my diabetes.

17. The commercials about my illness: make everyone seem old and/or fat or a child. What about the "normal" people?

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: I don't remember much pre-diabetes....but I would say that I would love to be able to have a meal without calculating carbs.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: I've had it so long that I don't really remember giving anything up.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging? That's probably the only diabetes related thing I've started... once again, I've had diabetes so long I've kind of done everything since then.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Normal? What's that? But if I was d-free, I'd probably eat whatever I wanted and not worry. :)

22. My illness has taught me: that people need each other. I can't do this on my own.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Are you sure you can eat that?

Um, yes, I am. I've been at this for 24 1/2 years. I think I'll live.

24. But I love it when people: ask me question...and actually LISTEN. :)

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: John 10:10 The thief comes but to kill, steal, and destroy, but I have come to give Life and give it more abundantly. (that's not word for word, but it's darn close!)

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but it's not. You can do this. And you can beat it (as much as it can be beaten, without a cure) if you want to badly enough.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: the number of people who live this life with me. (I LOVE you D-OC!)

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: take me to the hospital and sit with me while I was hooked up to an I.V. (that's another story for another time...) even when we had barely seen each other in months.

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I think it's a great thing to be involved in.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: a little bit closer to you....I'll feel even more close if you do it too! :)

Stangely Out of Place

The past couple of weeks, I kind of disappeared from the online community. Work and real-life were both getting to me. But, in addition to that, I was feeling overwhelmed by the online community.

There are no amount of words that can possibly express how much I love the D-OC. You guys have been there for me when no one else could be. You are supportive, wonderful, and you keep me sane. I thank God every day that He has placed such wonderful people in my (digital) reach.

When I first found the online community around 4 years ago (through Kerri!) there weren't many bloggers. Well, I suppose there were quite a few. Several hundred on Kerri's blogroll (if I remember correctly) at the time. But active bloggers were few and far between.

When I started blogging, I found other bloggers. Sure, I never read every blog. I don't claim to have visited every blog in the D-OC at that time. But I'd been to a lot of them.

I felt like I had a large, extended family. Some you didn't talk to as much, but you knew most of them, and you cared about them.

But slowly, over the past 4 years, more and more people have been making their way into our "family". I am so glad that they are, don't take me the wrong way. But I feel like my "family tree" has gotten so large that I don't know anyone anymore. Between Facebook, Twitter, and regular blogging, I am overwhelmed. And it's been an ungodly amount of time since I even visited TuDiabetes (sorry, Manny!).

Last week I was really overwhelmed by it all and I just quit. I quit reading blogs. I quit checking Twitter. I didn't blog. But, I'm back on now. I just needed some time to regroup. And to remind myself that I always have room for new friends, and that I can always keep the old friends close.

My question is, do any of you (especially those of you who've been around for a while) ever feel overwhelmed by all the people that are coming into the community? And do you feel guilty for not keeping up with all the new people and new blogs?

Splitting the Difference

I have a very close friend who is a type 2 diabetic. Monday night we had our first Community Choir practice and she said to me, "My blood sugar was 137 this morning when I woke up. It's too high." Now most of you that are type 1 would LOVE to wake up with that number, but she's used to having numbers more in the 70s or 80s upon waking.
I had one right back for her. "I woke up 65 this morning. My empty juice box is still in my bed." I grinned at her.
Her reply: "Can we just split the difference? Cause then we'd both be happy."
And I couldn't help but think how true that was. And how great it is to have people with whom to share silly diabetic humor.

Money, money, money

Money.

Something that most of us don't have a lot of. Some are more blessed than others. This is true. But, when it comes to living with diabetes, money can be a serious issue. As most of us know, having money is important when it comes to living with diabetes (or any chronic illness, I would venture to guess). If you don't have money, you need fantastic health insurance.

In the past I've talked about my thankfulness for my job. I don't enjoy it as much as I'd like. But I'm thankful for it. It pays well enough, I suppose. But the main reason that I have stuck with this job for the past (nearly) five years is because of the fantastic health insurance that my job offers.

I had no fight on my CGMS. They approved my insulin pump with no problems. And for the past two years, all my diabetic supplies (minus the pump supplies, which are considered durable medical equipment) were free. Free test strips. Free insulin. Free glucagon.

But, the economy is hitting everyone and everything. People are constantly looking for ways to cut costs and save money. And it's hit my job. In an effort to save money my job is "changing" their insurance coverage.

In July, we got a new prescription plan. Since I order my supplies every 3 months, I hadn't had to get anything since this change. But while visiting my endo a few weeks ago I got a new prescription for a glucagon kit. Mine has officially expired and I knew I needed to get a new one. In 24.5 years, I've never, ever had to actually use a glucagon kit. In fact, until a couple of years ago I hadn't had one since I was a kid.

I currently carry one in my "emergency kit" I carry in my purse. I have at least 2 co-workers who know how to use it, so I felt safe having it there. Also, my current roommate knows where its kept and how to use it.

When I went to the drug store the other day, I handed them my prescription. I asked them to run it through so I could find out the cost. I had a sneaking suspicion it wouldn't be free.

It wasn't.

It was $75.

And I told them to keep it. I haven't had to use one in over 24 years, and I don't have $75 to basically throw away (after all, the past 3 I've had have expired without ever being used).

$75.00

Non-preferred drug.

Please tell me, Mr. Insurance Company, how is a kit that could potentially save my life be "non-preferred"? And it's not like they have a generic version. I'd gladly take generic.

And, out of pure curiosity, I called a friend who works in a drug store to have them look up the cost if I had NO insurance. I didn't get an exact number...but I was told I was saving over half. Which means that without insurance, this little life saving pen would be over $150.

Oh, Mr. Drug Company....how is it that you can charge that much for something that might save a life? How is it fair?

As for the other changes in my insurance....we'll find out come January. I'm only hoping that the changes aren't so severe that it turns me into a pauper.

Apologies

I'm back....sort of. I've been working on finding inspiration for a couple of new blog posts. Lack of inspiration has been a major part of the reason I've been surprisingly quite in the online world. But, to help start my return to the online world.... I give you the funniest youtube video I've seen in a long time. :)

Endo Update

So I went to my endo's office on Wednesday. I was scheduled to see the Nurse Practitioner and the Dietitian. The day before they called to tell me that my dietitian wouldn't be there and wanted to know if I wanted to reschedule both appointments or come in for one and reschedule the other. I contemplated rescheduling them both, but I haven't had an appointment since April and I was curious to see what my A1c was, so I went down to the Nurse Practitioner's appointment anyway.
Since my office is about 2 1/2 hours away from my house, I end up taking the entire day off, but it's a nice trip to Nashville and I get to do a little shopping. Between that and the FANTASTIC care I get at my doctor's office, it's well worth it.
I was expecting a high A1c and that I had gained weight. I haven't been doing as well as I would have liked in either department, and I know it. When I weighed, I was up about 5 pounds. My only surprise at this was that it wasn't more.
However, I was wrong on my A1c. My last appointment I was 6.6 after fighting to get out from being stuck at 6.9. Wednesday my A1c came back at 6.5. I was happy. Very happy. And, my biggest trouble areas were looked at (after breakfast and supper). My nurse practitioner made some suggestions on changes to basals and insulin to carb ratios so I'm hoping that helps even out the trouble areas.
Next appointment is with my actual endo and my dietitian in November.... onward and upward (or downward as the A1c may go....).

Fun with Friends

So, I decided to enter a cake in the county fair this year. I've never done it before. The prize money isn't really worth the money you put into it (effort aside!). But I had a couple of co-workers that encouraged me to try and my friend wanted to help out, so we got to work decorating cake dummies (a.k.a. Styrofoam pieces).

The base was foam board that I glued black paper on, and my friend added the smaller black lines with a Sharpie. Then I covered it with saran wrap to make it food safe (even though the cake wasn't going to be eaten.

Then, my friend sat and cut out zebra stripes. First with and exact-o knife, and then with a pizza cutter (it went faster and made smoother cuts). As she cut them, I placed them on the iced bases using a little water and a paintbrush so that the fondant would stick.

Here's my friend's contribution of a little heart...and we were almost done. It was nearly midnight and we were sooooooo tired!

The inspiration for the whole thing came from the topper, which I found in the floral section of a hobby store.

I ended up winning first place, but not best of show. That went to a loaf of blueberry lemon bread. But we had fun and I got some experience that I didn't have before. :) I hope you guys enjoy it all.

Amazing Customer Service

About a month or so ago, I ordered a new box of CGMS sensors. I still had quite a few left, so I didn't really think about it again for a while. Then, last week I was pulling a new sensor out of my box and realized I had the sensor I was holding and one more. That's it. Well, full on panic mode sets in. I called MiniMed right then. I was on hold for a while (they apparently have a new computer system...) but when I got ahold of a person, he was very nice. I could tell something was up. He put me on hold again and I waited. Fairly quickly he was back on the line and asked if he could call me back, or if I wanted to stay on hold. Typically, I stay on hold, but I decided to let him call back. And he did. Within 15 minutes he was calling me back.

Apparently my last batch of sensors was up for the yearly authorization from my insurance company (which I knew). We went through the whole deal with them then and I assumed it was taken care of for another year. Evidently, it wasn't. That authorization was only for the single order. So, basically, I need another year long authorization from my insurance company.

We all know how long that can take. *cringe*shutter*cringe* So I was a little worried. He said they were going to contact my insurance company on Friday and try to get a verbal authorization so they could send out a new box on Friday.

I asked about calling to check and he said that if there was a problem, MiniMed would call me on Friday. I expected to call them by Monday if I hadn't heard from them, just to check. But Friday, I got a phone call (trouble?) and it turns out they couldn't get ahold of my insurance company yet. But the lady that had called me on Friday said they were shipping me a box of 4 sensors to hold me over (complimentary).

It's now Tuesday morning. I've not heard anything yet, but I plan on calling to check with someone either today or tomorrow, just to be sure everything is on track. But yesterday, I got my box of 4 sensors. Which will hold me over for a while anyway.

MiniMed has been pretty awesome in my time with them. They are (almost) always on top of things. And they are always very polite and quick to get things done. I've had awesome MiniMed reps and pretty much always had good experience with them. They seem to go out of their way to make customer service a top priority.

So, even though there are things I like about other pumps and CGMS systems (hello Dexcom and Animas Ping), I don't see myself leaving MiniMed anytime soon. They are too helpful. And I'm just hoping they catch up (FDA approved 7 day sensor, please. And the ability to operate my pump from my meter, thanks.) on the other stuff soon.

*disclaimer: MiniMed did send me some complimentary sensors to hold me over until they can get my insurance company to cooperate, but to my knowledge, they don't even know I blog and surely didn't ask me to blog about them. I did that one all on my own.*

A Brave New World

So, I've not really been baking much of late. I haven't had anyone to really bake for. I've made a few tasty cakes (not the decorating kind, just the kind you eat for fun). But nothing worth photographing. But in the next couple of months I have several things on the list. So, be ready for more pictures. :)

One of my oldest friends (we met the 1st day of kindergarten!) is having her second child in November. A little boy is going to be joining their family. This will make 2 boys for her and her husband. I joked with her that at least she knows what she's got to expect this time. :)

The let their older song pick the theme for the baby's room. And having just seen Toy Story 3, that's what ended up going as the theme for new little brother's room.

This has bleeded over into the baby shower. I'm throwing the baby shower and Toy Story seems to be the choice. Well, let me tell you, you can find lots and lots of birthday stuff online for Toy Story. But no one has apparently ever thought to throw a Toy Story baby shower. So, I'm improvising. :)

That being said, I'm getting ready to venture into a side of baking that I've never entered into before. Cake Pops. I first discovered cake pops through Bakerella's website. If you like baking (of any kind) in the least little bit, you'll love her website. She has step-by-step (with pictures!) directions and recipes on her site and she has give-aways all the time.

I'd never been brave enough to try to make cake pops. But her website gave me some inspiration that I think I might need to try. These:

Aren't they the cutest? I'm thinking for party-favors for the baby shower. But believe me, I'll be making a practice batch or two before the actual shower. Lots of details and I don't want to mess it up. :) Wish me luck everyone. And I'll post actual pictures after the shower (in early October).

Endo appointment

I have a new appointment with my endo in just a couple of weeks. I am a little afraid (okay a LOT afraid) of what's going to happen at this appointment. I had every intention of losing some weight, getting tighter control in my blood sugars, and exercising more since my last appointment (in April). Yet, here I am, nearly 4 months later. My blood sugar is more out of control now than it has been in a long time (which I know is going to mean a higher A1c), my exercise is non-existent, my food intake has not been exactly healthy, and I've gained weight. I've not stepped on a scale, but you always can tell when your clothes begin to fit your differently.



I have this complex of wanting to please people. Not everyone, mind you. But I like to make people happy if it is within my power. And I know that sliding back on all of my goals is not going to please my endo or CDE.


So, what do I do? It's too late to crash diet and lose some pounds. My pump and meter records will tell the true tale of my crappy blood sugar control. And I can't lie when they ask me about exercise. I've not been doing it.


So not only have I disappointed myself, I've disappointed them as well. It's all about getting back in there. Recommitting myself. I know this. Mentally, I know all the steps to take to get back where I want to be. And to get even better control (which is my ultimate goal). But making that first step isn't the issue. It's the second and third and fourth steps that seem to get in my way.

Writer's Block & Recommended Reading

Apparently I'm not the only one who's been dealing with it. But it's here. I've been so busy and distracted that I've not had time. And when I've had time, I've not had the inspiration. So, today I'm going to share a blog post with you that truly touched my heart this past week.


Heidi, over at the D-Log Cabin (who I've had the joy of meeting with IRL on more than one occasion!) posted a truly touching blog last week called This One's For the Girls. It's beautiful, touching, and very true.


Go check it out. I think you'll enjoy it as much as I did. :)

Cara-ology

Okay, I'm being a slacker today. I have no inspiration and it's been a rough week. So I'm posting a Meme today. This came from a tag on facebook by Missy. :) If you do this on your blog, let me know!

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology".

***********FOODOLOGY***************
What is your salad dressing of choice? - Ranch

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? - Maybe Olive Garden? Not sure really.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? - Cheese

What are your pizza toppings of choice? - Pepperoni & pineapple.

What do you put on your toast? - I like cinnamon toast. But sometimes I just do a little butter
and jam.


***********TECHNOLOGY***************
How many televisions are in your house? - One.

How many computers? - Two if you count my roommate's

What kind of cell phone do you have? - Casio G'Zone Rock

Do you have an iPod? - Nope. I have a Zune.


***************BIOLOGY******************
Are you right-handed or left-handed? - Primarily a leftie. But I do some things right handed.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? - Yup. Tonsils

What is the last heavy item you lifted? - This huge box of pictures and scrapbooking stuff.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? - No.


************BULLOLOGY**************
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? NO!

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? - If you'd asked me this when I
was 10, I'd have picked something completely off the wall. Now, I've grown kind of attached to
my name.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? - No.


************DUMBOLOGY******************
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? - Five

Last time you had a run-in with the cops? - The last time I saw a cop? Yesterday at work. Other
than that, I did have to call the cops when I wrecked my car in March of '09.

Last person you talked to? - My roommate.

Last person you hugged? - My godson.

Last person you kissed? - My godson. He's the cutest baby ever. Just so you know.


**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
Season? - I like things about all the seasons.

Holiday? - Christmas. But if you don't count Christmas, St. Patrick's Day.

Day of the week? - Friday.

Month? - May. Cause it's my birthday and I usually take vacation in May.


***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
Missing someone? - Always.

Mood? - Eh.

What are you listening to? - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Greatest Hits. (Exact song is
Backlash)

Watching? - Dawson's Creek. Season 1

Worrying about? - Trying not to worry.


***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
First place you went this morning? - The bathroom.

What's the last movie you saw? - Letters to Juliet

Do you smile often? - I hope so.

Sleeping alone tonight? - Yes.


***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************
Do you always answer your phone? - Nope.

If you could change your eye color what would it be? - Maybe green?

Do you own a digital camera? - Yes.

Have you ever had a pet fish? - Yes.

Favorite Christmas song(s)? - I like most Christmas songs. It's the only time a year you can sing religious songs and people don't look at you like you're a quack.

What's on your wish list for your birthday? - Since I'm turning *cough*gag*30*cough*cough*
I'm hoping to have a fantastic vacation planned. So all donations will be accepted. :)

Can you do push ups? - Are you serious?

Can you do a chin up? - Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? - Both.

Do you have any saved texts? - Yes.

Ever been in a car wreck? - Yes.

Do you have an accent? - Um, yeah. Ask anyone who's ever met me. :)

What is the last song to make you cry? - Needtobreath "Garden"

Plans tonight? - Church

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? - Yes.

Name 3 things you bought yesterday? - Breakfast at McDonalds. I didn't buy anything else.

Have you ever been given roses? - Yes.

Current worry? - Nothing major.

Current hate right now? - Nothing in particular. Accept stupid. Sometimes (most of the time)
stupid annoys me greatly.

Met someone who changed your life? - I think everyone you meet changes your life in some way.

How will you bring in the New Year? - I don't know yet.

What song represents you? - I can't think of a song that represents me.

Name three people who might complete this? - I hope many people will. I'm interested to see the
answers.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? - Maybe? Sometimes I think I would.
But other times I think it might be overrated.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year solid? - Nope.

Do you have any tattoos/piercings? - I have my ears pierced.

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now? - I don't know.

Does anyone love you? - Yes.

Would you be a pirate? - Na.

What songs do you sing in the shower? - Whatever song I woke up with in my head that
morning.

Ever had someone sing to you? - Yes.

When did you last cry? - A few days ago.

Do you like to cuddle? - Depends on who with.

Have you held hands with anyone today? - Nope.

Who was the last person you took a picture of? - My godson.

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? - Whatever my mom was listening to
at the time. I remember a lot of country.

Do you believe in staying close with your ex's? - Depends on the circumstances.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? - Both.

Do you like pulpy orange juice? - I don't really drink a lot of orange juice. As much as I love it, it
gives me horrible heart burn.

What is something your friends make fun of you for? - My obsession with Broadway.

Music Monday: Needtobreath

Well, folks, another Music Monday is here. And I have a great group to share with you. :) In fact, I like their new album so much I've listened to it on repeat for the past several day. (I keep thinking I'll get tired of it. I don't.)

Needtobreath. Yup, all one word. I am just recently discovering them, although they have been around for a while. The group is made up of two brothers and two of their college friends. Lead singer, Bear Rinehart and brother Bo Rinehart are the children of an Assembly of God pastor. They met friends Joe Stillwell and Seth Bolt in college.

Their latest album is what I have gotten hooked on. They stand right on the line of contemporary Christian, Southern rock, and modern day rock/pop. They have several obviously Christian songs on their album, but some are not. The song "Stones Under Rushing Water" is a beautiful love song (singer Sara Watkins of the bluegrass band Nickel Creek is featured). "The Outsiders" is an anthem to being different.

They have had songs included in several TV shows and movies (apparently they have a song in P.S. I Love You. I've not seen the movie, so I don't know which song) which only proves their overall appeal.

So, check them out. I don't think you'll be disappointed. I'm including three of my favorite songs in this post via YouTube.


The Outsiders: title track off the new album. Fantastic song.


Stones Under Rushing Water: sadly, Sara Watkins is not singing in this version.


Garden: Probably my favorite song on the whole album. Beautiful and meaningful in so many ways.